Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
I think as far as recent Onion articles this one made me laugh the
most:  http://www.theonion.com/onion3646/ping_pong_playing_man.html
if only because it reminded me just how competitive my older brother
can be.

On another note, was wondering if any of y'all can suggest any good
crime noir authors.  I've read Jim Thompson, Elmore Leonard, and Andrew
Vachhs and am looking to pick up some more stuff.  Really like
Leonard's stuff.
  

    
Whew!  Here I am with my fresh and new Well account.  I am amazed at
all the stuff that goes on here that I had no clue about...I thought
the well was much smaller than this.  Very glad to have gotten this
account now.  :)

Michelle- I was happy to be recognized as a thingie, since I post
there so rarely!  Thanks for the warm welcome.

More later when I think of something wonderful to talk about, or at
least something meaningful to contribute.

-Angelina (who is very fond of anything with a spellcheck.)
  

    

Something wonderful to talk about? Doesn't stop me... see?
  

    
My all time favorite Onion article is the 'Study Reveals: Babies are
Stupid' one.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3119/stupidbabies.html

I don't know if this makes me an incredibly sick person but I can't
stop laughing whenever I read it.

Madman - me too!  :-)

Jen.
  

    

So, I hang out on a few IRC channels, and one of them has a babblebot. This
thing takes comments directed at it, and replies with some random
combination of previous things it had been fed.
Just now, it came up with:

<Babblebot> Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett... steel cage deathmatch!


...
just thought I'd share.
  

    
<coming in late as usual>

Lorraine is now the Fabulous Duchess of Hazzard?

That is *cool*. In a truly bizarre way, of course. (Let's see, for a Duchess
we'd have to address her as "Your Grace," innit?)
  

    
Ooh, 'babies are stupid.' Haha. I have the 2001 Onion calendar and
that was on it for January. For February, there's something about
sending vowels to countries in Eastern Europe. Hehe.

-shira
  

    
Seeing as everyone's Onion linking, does anyone but me miss T. Herman
Zweibal?  The 'editorals' are my favorite parts, specially with the
Jean Teasdale ones.  

Probaby my favorite of the editorials is
http://www.theonion.com/onion3011/walkeninla.html because the voice is
so hilariously accurate.
  

    
Neil - A very bratty, spoiled, and BITEY! blue love bird. Cute little
thing, until he decides to get at the earrings by ripping off the ears.
Actually, he's not very bratty or spoiled. He was just being fussy
when I was trying to be a net-junkie. Amazingly strong beak, tho'. His
name is Ghost. He belongs to my friend Dustin (who taught him to bite
when you point at him, because she didn't want a 'wuss bird').

Daniel - I was going to suggest Leonard. A friend of mine turned me on
to his stuff last year and I'm anxious to get my hands on more. 

Angelina - Well, 'velvet raisin' just stuck out. I think I said so on
the ng when you first posted there. As for needing something
interesting to say... see post #96 for my view on the subject. :)

madman - Maybe it's just because you're one letter from mad max, but I
saw "steel cage deathmatch" and thought "thunderdome"... *sigh. Is
Burning Man really only 6 months away?

-squeaks, who needs sleep
  

    
D'oh! And then she hits post before getting to the whole point of
posting today in the first place!

Neil - So, with the <insert your favourite expletives here>
cancellation of the CBLDF cruise <insert much growling and discontent
here>, do I not get any obscure Stardusts? Not that I could prove it,
but I had at least one person going with me. <whine, wimper, more
whining>

Okay, I'll stop being pathetic. I'm just losing it. Lots of
departmental changes (read: people quitting) at work, resulting in part
time employee (me) working more than full-time hours. And I found out
about the cruise during the only little break I took all day, because I
thought I needed to be cheered up by checking my email... As you may
suspect, it did nothing for my enthusiasm for the rest of the day.

squeaks, who may have to send rabid gophers to attack the next person
who quits.
  

    
Michelle -- I think a lot of people were waiting until the last minute
to sign up for the cruise, but it was looking riskier and riskier...

Now I feel guilty. Okay, you get your Stardusts -- swedish, finnish,
israeli and maybe a couple of others. 

But (let's see...) you have to keep talking people into buying copies
of American Gods. (Preferably by pre-ordering them from bookstores that
report to the New York Times list.) (er that last bit was a wistful
sort of a joke.)
  

    
Sorry about the cruise.  Wish it'd happened and raised lots of money.
  

    
Too bad about the cruise.  Not that I could have afforded to go but
the fund raising would have been nice.

Michelle -- Yeah, Leonard's good stuff.  You should check out Jim
Thompson some time.  From what I understand he wrote pretty much all of
his stuff back in the '50s or soi.  He's got a great book called 'The
Killer Inside Me' that I think I blazed through in about two hours. 
Also had one called 'The Getaway' which was made into pretty cool movie
(the Steve McQuees one, not the Alec Baldwin one).

Neil -- Gonna call the local Hastings today and preorder.  Also my
brother wanted me to tell you he finally finished Stardust and liked it
a lot.  He was taking a long time to finish it, on account of
busy-ness, and I was giving him crap cause my sister-in-law got through
it so quick like.
  

    
Since everybody's sharing their favourites, here's mine... more
procrastination fodder:

Aging Pope 'Just Blessing Everything In Sight,' Say Concerned Handlers
http://www.theonion.com/onion3505/pope_blesses.html

Sorry to hear about the cruise... What bookstores report to the New
York Times list? How does one find out? *goes poke around the web*

-- Mimi, incoherent and squished under work *hi people*
  

    
Daniel -- I have an odd relationship with Jim Thompson books. It took
me a while to notice there was a pattern, but (with the exception of
The Killer Inside Me) when I finish them I give them away. On planes
it's to the person in the next seat, usually.

Some crime writers and books who do some of those Elmore Leonard/Jim
Thompson things would include Bradley Denton's lovely BLACKBURN,Doug
WInter's wonderful RUN; you should read Chester Himes, and John
Franklin Bardin, and Fredric Brown wrote some great crime books
(particularly The Fabulous Clipjoint).

Mimi -- dunno how one finds out what bookstores report to the NY
Times. Frankly, unless they deciude to track American Gods it won't
appear on the list however many it sells. ("Tracking" is a technical
term, which means the NY Times people make a list of about 30 books
they figure are probably that week's bestsellers, and then they send it
out to reporting bookstores asking them how many of those books they
sold that week -- something which caused my jaw to drop when I learned
it, from a reporting bookstore, on the Stardust tour. I was very proud
of how many we'd sold in hardback, and said something about maybe
Stardust would make it onto the Times list, and the store owner said
"You won't" and went and got me that week's sheet. It had a space at
the bottom where each store could write in a book that was doing very
well for them, but he said he's never seen a book on the list that
wasn't on the sheet that came out.)

And I just did a quick search for articles to back me up, because when
you tell people that they assume it's GOT to be much more technical
and complicated and so on than that, and look at you doubtfully....

http://www.publishing.about.com/arts/publishing/library/weekly/aa092299.htm
  

    
And on the subject of Onion articles, I should point out I actually
turn up in one of them:
http://www.theonion.com/onion3505/wad_accord.html
  

    
Bestseller Lists -- This, is *sad*. -_-; Yup, you've burst a bubble
right there. I'd really expected a more logical and objective system...
but no.

Onion article -- Found that one a little while ago... was surprised to
actually *find* something when I tried the search for 'Neil Gaiman.'

Now off to bed way too late...

-- Mimi
  

    
I remember you showing up in an Onion piece.  I wonder if that's the same
one.
  

    
The historic wad accord? Damn right it was.

Reading a book right now called The Music of Razors, by Cameron
Rogers. It's an Australian Penguin title. I'm certainly enjoying it,
and, if it stays good to the end, will probably give it a blurb (which
is why they sent it to me) but it's a very odd read for me -- mostly
because it reminds me a lot of me in Sandman time (some elements of the
plot are a lot like parts of a treatment I did in 1989 for a proposed
Sandman movie, which no-one liked at all as it barely had the Sandman
in it)(and which he obviously hasn't read). 

And if I were told that he'd never read me or any Sandman, I'd happily
believe that. It's just like another chef deciding to cook with a lot
of your favorite ingredients. But odd...
  

    
Scanning the thread and my eyes are getting lazy... would someone
point me to the _American Gods_ website Neil mentioned?
  

    
Double post. Oh, my, I'm embarrassed. And I hate this machine.
  

    
Alright!  Time for my favorite Onion article!

http://www.theonion.com/onion3627/video_game_characters.html

I am truly disturbed to find out about the "bestseller" lists.  How
disgusting!  grr!

Off to see what will probally be the worst musical I'll ever
see..."Dear Abby", a 5th grade production. My little brother plays
Benjamin Franklin.  Kinda frightening, really.

~Angelina
  

    
Sally -- you mean www.americangods.com?

Angelina -- remember, boredom can be a wonderful thing. Some of my
best ideas have turned up at the equivalent of 5th grade musicals.
  

    
Neil -- Thanks for the author tips.  I had actually heard of Chester
Himes before, will defintitely pick some of his stuff up.  Did you know
Jim Thompson rewrote (kinda) The Killer Inside Me?  A book called Pop.
1280 that is supposed to be a darkly funnier version of the original.

About the bestseller lists, what a bunch of crap.  Makes me want to
spit.

American Ninja is on TNT.  Zounds, the kind of stuff I thought was
cool when I was a kid.
  

    
Neil-- if someone next to me on a plane handed me _The Killer Inside
Me_ I'd probably ask to change my seat....

Hi all... discovered that, to plug in my computer in my new apartment
I have to string so many wires to get to power, phone, etc that my home
is starting to look like a Christo installation.

Angelina-- have you ever read David Sedaris's essay about a snide NY
theatre critic reviewing a Catholic school christmas pageant?