Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Streak-- Happy birthday!  It's funny-- when I drink Russian vodka, I
taste flat, dull fields with rusty tractors, and slablike, straight
roads that thrust through bleak concrete apartment complexes.

Neil-- Sorry about your computer woes..they sound viscerally nasty and
emotionally damaging.

DanGuy-- ask the librarians if there's a request form or protocol... 
often they're actually grateful that somebody takes the time to do the
proper paperwork.

I dreamed last night that I got my paycheck for directing Arabian
Nights, and it came to $700.  It wasn't a very interesting dream, I'm
afraid.
  

    
::walks in and looks about:: 

Ummm... hello. I'm dreadfully bad at these things ... I'm Suzanne and
I live in sunny Las Vegas (mind you, besides working at a library, I
work at one of the local Borders. Nearly had kittens when I found out
about Neil being here and that lowly clerks weren't allowed to attend.
An assistant manager suggested crashing the event.).  Since I've been
lurking for quite a while it seems that I know most of you already.
Danguy said it best, I think.

Just wanted to comment on a few things...

Neil (think it would be incorrect to say it this way but saying "Mr.
Gaiman" just doesn't feel right either)-- Very sorry to hear that you
won't be recording "The Goldfish Pool" since it's one of my favorite
stories from _S&M_.  I was glad to see that Dianna suggested it and was
about to second it when I read your post.  On the brighter side, it
sounds as if it may appear on a later recording.

Oh... secondly... just an open invitation to read at the Clark County
Library in Las Vegas (that is if you wish to visit and were considering
some way to use said visit as a tax write off).  My FT position is PAC
coordinator, meaning we have a 399 fixed seat theater and a 90 black
box theater available.  I did contact a very nice gentleman at Harper
Collins but he said that unfortunately your tour dates for _AG_ had
already been booked. We are attempting to get more authors to do
readings at our branch (there are 12 in our district) and it seems that
publishers aren't too keen on sending authors to libraries (actually
been told that by one person) even though we do sell books (well,
actually a bookstore comes in to sell them for us) at such events. 

Finally... congrats on getting the good review and a star in Kirkus!
Andandand... thank you for your writing. It's helped me through some
tough times, enlighted and entertained (in fact- the three things the X
was not going to get, though he made warbling sounds towards it, were
my Kate, Tori, and Neil collections.  It would have been a nasty
divorce had he really tried it).  The _AG_ journal is s'wonderful;
gives us a whole new insight into being a writer and the publishing
industry.

Martha -- Yesterday we went to the bookstore and I was going to see if
we carried your book.  However, due to foggyness of the brain caused
by a nasty sinus infection, I could only recall your first name and it
wasn't very effective when checking stock (Borders carries entirely too
much Martha Stewart merchandize).  I expect by next Saturday, I'll
have ordered your book (and if Borders can't locate it... we go to
Dreamhaven, home of all things Neil Gaiman and a s'wonderful place in
itself).

DanGuy & Len -- Len is correct, most libraries will have some sort of
protocol for requesting or ::shudder:: restricting books from their
catalogues. However even though you ask for it, it doesn't mean it will
get ordered (I've heard many a rants from the librarians and their
assistants regarding the buyers decisions.  Seems they have to back up
their requests with all sorts of paperwork (ie: Kirkus Reviews with
stars...). Our district carries 24 titles by Neil (including the
collected works of _Sandman_).  Expect we'll be getting copies of
_AG_... but it never hurts to check. 

MissMousie -- Enjoyed your track. Do let us know when you get more
tracks finished.

Being my head is about to explode and it's time to take more meds,
think it's best to go and pack up videos or bag comic books (we've had
it with the Slumlord and the dreaded back room. Time to move into
another rental or to actually consider buying a home which leads to the
question of older neighborhood vs a brand new model... can't decided
quite but this old house and, due to rain damage, the dreaded backroom
with mold & ceiling collapse makes me skitterish on older homes. Ours
was built in the early 40's (old by LV standards) and though I like
them, we're two left feet when it comes to repairs andandand... well
the dreaded back room has me skitterish. GAH! It's entirely too big a
decision.
  

    
Suzanne - let me be the first to welcome you! Wow... I'm feeling a
little inadequate about my entry into this forum, I wasn't nearly as
thorough or interesting...
Sadly, I still don't have anything insightful or interesting to say,
so I'll go back to lurk mode...

Dan
  

    
"as the librarians themselves seem to take offense whenever I make
requests and suggestions.  (Hence the need for metaphorical chains last
weekend.)"

I tried the proper channels.  I was polite.  This is what happens when
an overbearing and homogenous PTA takes over the library. ^^

Do you think I would have resorted to chaining myself to the reference
desk had they been reasonable about the matter?  I should say not.
  

    
Neil- My dad was going to send me a palmtree from Florida and I was
going to plant all kinds of other things in the apartment to prettify
things up a bit....but then I remembered that I have cats. I know you
probably plant most everything outdoors, but do you know if there's a
way to keep cats out of things that you plant indoors? I haven't
thought of a way yet. I am, however, currently toilet training them. 

Streak-Happy birthday! (and enjoy your fancy scotch, as it seems you
*obviously* are...:)
  

    
Streak -- happy birthday.

When I was in the UK last I noticed they had some 1951 scotches in
duty free -- around $300 a bottle, but I was tempted. If I live through
the signing tour I may buy myself one as a present.

Dan Guy -- as The Author, I would like to say a) I am enormously
grateful and b) I wish all readers were like you.

Suzanne -- you should have just crashed the Borders las Vegas thing.
No-one would have noticed.

Im sure I'll record GOLDFISH POOL at some point, It's just not going
to be on the first couple of CDs.

You're very welcome.

Well done on trying to get  a signing. And I'm pleased you're enjoying
the American Gods journal. I'm enjoying writing it, although I wish i
had more time for it.

(I wish that the US would follow Europe on the concept of Public
Lending Right for Libraries.  It makes authors feel much more
library-friendly, I think.)

Erynn -- two things (of the many we've tried) work: 1) orange peels
and 2) tinfoil. Orange peels do seem to keep them out of the pots, if
there's enough and they're fresh, but  it's a lot easier to cover the
soil with tinfoil.
  

    
Streak--Happy Birthday!!  That was a lovely description of your
birthday drink.  But I doubt my mouth is smart enough to tell me
anything but "ew" if I tried it...

I didn't really have much to say, but I didn't want to miss out on the
birthday fun.
  

    
neil . i sure am being persisent . so . . . about that book of gk
chesterton essays you told me you'd try and recommend . that , and the
book telling the stories behind the names of all the spots around
london . surely you're going to be leaving town again as i ask this .

sined .

ooh . . . so about the goldfish story being recorded . . . you really
should think about that one . it seems to lend itself well to .

sined again .
  

    
Suzanne -- Welcome!  And here I'd been worried that *my* intro was
long. (tee-hee.)  I loved the Martha/Stewart bit.

Neil -- I enjoy your work too much to keep quiet about it.  In my
mind, every bookstore should stock certain books and certain authors at
the very least, so that one can buy any of them at a moments notice;
and every time I go into a bookstore that is missing one of those, I
feel somewhat disappointed, as though the whole world is somehow
diminished for the lack.
     And I have my selfish reasons as well. ^^  The way I see it: [1]
More copies of AG on the shelves means a greater chance that I get my
hands on one of the signed ones (though I'm too eager to read it to not
have ordered it already from Amazon, so I suppose someone special will
be getting that copy for Christmas this year).  [2] The more
widespread your exposure, the easier it'll be for me to get my hands on
your stuff.   
     "What is the concept of Public Lending Rights for Libraries?", he
asks knowing full well that he could find the answer for himself
lickety-split online, and therefore feeling slightly guilty for asking,
but wanting to hear it from you.
  

    <hidden>
  

    
i hid the above because it's just me rambling
about my dead grandmother's science fiction collection,
which i've inherited.
  

    
"You can report that Good Omens is proving to be FUCKING difficult to
reduce to the FUCKING SHIT ASS limitations of a two FUCKING hour film."
-- Gilliam <http://www.smart.co.uk/dreams/gofact.htm>

And then, Atlantis RISES...... *ching* *ching* ^^
  

    
Email from JaNell:

Dan Guy-
    I took the time to read your hidden message, but I'm not sure how to
hide one, so I'll be briefish for everyone else...
    My maternal Grandmother died when I was nineteen (precipitating my
too-early first marriage). She was, and still is, the only family member I
felt able to relax around. Before she died, she gave me her collection of
generations of Blue Willow dishes that one of my aunts, at her death,
forced me to split with one of cousins who couldn't even be bothered to
attend the funeral.
    Grandma Delilah wrote reams of poetry that she sadly burned when she
realized the she was dying, and I'd gladly trade all the dishes and
knickknacks I got for just some of it. I'm glad for you that you're
getting the books; a person's library is very personal, or not, and that
can tell you a lot about them too.
    All my writing and artwork is sitting in boxes too, and I wonder if,
when I'm old, I'll also dispose of it that way, unseen...

JaNell
  

    
That's a lovely sentiment, JaNell.
  

    
 When I first moved here I went to find Neil at Borders...It took me
almost an hour to find him, because for some reason I didn't think to
look under Sci/fi. They had two books: Smoke and Mirrors and
Dreamhunters. That was it. I complained but I don't think it did much
good, as I don't think I'm very intimidating (I'm 5'3 100lbs) They
might have more now, but I haven't been back in months. I order most
stuff online. It seems easier that way. But I still complain.

Neil--thanks for the advice. I will now go crazy with plants. I just
hope it doesen't backfire like my squirtgun punishment. Whenever they
(cats) were doing something bad, we'd shoot them with a little water
pistol..after a while they began to love it like a child running
through a sprinkler. One of them, in fact,even tried to take showers
with us for a while. I thought to myself, "This just isn't right." And
then a friend of mine informed us that the squirtgun thing only works
if they don't know it's coming from you. Interesting. Cats don't give a
damn about their owners, but they'll obey "god".... 

Okay, normally I don't care about "celebrity gossip" and things, but
you've changed all that. I'm really *dying* to hear about the AG photo
incident. I don't know why it's a big deal for me to know, but
everytime you say you're going to finally tell us and then you don't
(maybe that's it) I'm like: Dammit! You're kill'in me, here. 

No really, I want to know. {Bites nails in suspense}
  

    
Dan Guy - Great quote! I'm actually glad to hear that. It means that
he's really working hard and being judicious and careful about the
adaptation.
Maybe he can talk the studios into letting him make it 2 1/2 hours?
(yeah, right)

Janell - beautiful story.
  

    
Email from Mary Roane:

Hi all!

I'm alive & have move......sorry, still can't say the "m" word.  Or the
"p" word (can barely whisper "unpack".)

Len--meant to tell you-I'm in rehearsals for a concert version of
"Carmen".  So it *is* like an opera around here!

Neil--am finally going to get to hear Terry Pratchett read on Monday.
Anything you'd like me to tell him if I get a chance?

Suzanne & DanGuy & Dianna--Welcome!!

DanGuy--what a cool & interesting family you have.  Congratulations on
getting the books.  They sound wonderful.

I don't suppose anyone will be surprised to learn that the first thing I
unpacked was the Gaiman shelf & the Pratchett shelf.  I'm getting tied of
eating with my fingers!

I thought I sent a post defending the Neverwhere video, but as mad as I
was last week, it's probably at NASA.  Briefly--I love Paterson Joseph's
perf as the Marquis & think it should be seen for that alone, if nothing
else.

Streak--happy belated.  Mine is next week, and so far the celebrations
include the aforementioned PTerry reading, U2, & Poi Dog Pondering.  But I
still want a good Scotch after that description!

(Just read David Sedaris & Nick Hornby, now reading Anne Perry)

Mary Roane
  

    
Dan, Dan Guy & Mary... Thank you for the welcome, helps to make one
feel a bit less geeky and tongue tied.


Re: the NEVERWHERE video... I actually saw it a while after reading
the book (lucky for me I had traded a HB copy of Charles DeLint's THE
LITTLE COUNTRY for the UK TP of NEVERWHERE shortly after it was
released).  I finally got the chance to see the video months later when
a gentleman on the Tamson House list moved to Vegas.  After getting
over the production style (quite a difference from those BBC Jane
Austin/Masterpiece Theater epics... have since gotten a better handling
on the style, blame RED DWARF though Mark keeps saying I need to watch
DR WHO and all those other show with the "quarry" location -- the
curse of growing up in the desert instead of a lovely green country
with lots of sheep), I did enjoy it.  Highlight was the Marquis and I
also really enjoyed Croup & Vandemar (kept picturing Penn & Teller
while reading the book).  Quite a bit of the production didn't live up
to my visions (the cow was a snort)... but then I started to looked at
it as two different creatures.  

I was curious however, if there's a post somewhere explaining Neil's
thoughts on the production, could someone please point it out.  What
confused me about this was that I thought since Neil wrote it and done,
what I understood to be a great deal of hands on work with the
production it was closer to his actual vision (well, doubtful the cow
was ever the Beast). Now I'm just confused.


Dan Guy & JaNell... lovely words written about your grandmothers.
Think the library sounds quite wonderful and what a great way to learn
the insides of someone.


Quite envious of Mary, PT reading AND U2... sound a grand b-day week
(now if only some kind friends would gift you with unpacking and
setting up house).


Erynn... Borders buyers file things under the strangest categories and
one questions their sanity.  You should be able to locate a decent
selection of Neil's works at most locations (homogenization of
bookstores -- all look the same and basically carry the same stock). 
We seem to regularly carry in stock S&M, STARDUST, GOOD OMENS & graphic
novels (SANDMAN, BLACK ORCHID, BOOKS OF MAGIC).  I KNOW we'll be
carrying AG (I reserve requested mine a while back -- took a bit of
poking about since the computer system sometimes doesn't like to work,
go figure, and it's listed as "AMER GODS" -- told you the buyers are
funny) and it should be in good number quantity. If THE DAY I SWAPPED
MY DAD FOR 2 GOLDFISH is still in print (for some reason I thought it
went out of print) you may be able to order it (mind you this never
spent a day in the children's section since it was coded
"SciFi/Fantasy"... again... buyers).  For those works they do carry...
look under SciFi/Fantasy sections in the hardback/QP section, usually
the front bookcases and the mass market shelves plus you'll want to
check out the Graphic Novel section of the store for the collected
works. Suppose I'm just saying, Borders does seem to carry Neil's works
-- sometimes you just have to look in different places. HOWEVER, for
anything that might be special... I'd suggest contacting Dreamhaven
(have I mentioned how much I love that place -- blame a radio
convention that took place in Minneapolis, DH clerks and the squirrels)


Neil... quick question, since I can't seem to locate the info on the
Harper Collins site, will you be reading at the LA & SD book signings? 
Since you'll not be returning to Vegas (did meet you at a signing
YEARS back at Page After Page Comics -- you were ever so nice and I
felt like a dolt... managed to ask you about Tori after acking a bit)
and my SF trip has now moved to the start of June... I'm considering
taking the day off and venturing down to SoCA.  Have to figure out
driving and all that... nervous that there might be huge lines to see
you and after driving all the way it would be another road trip from
hell (worst I've ever had was to see Tori at the Roxy, another time
where I acked repeatedly at someone I admire greatly). 


David Sedaris' ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY is the car book (and sometimes
becomes the bank line book, the DMV book...).  Read only while at red
lights or waiting for folks -- driving and reading DO NOT MIX (unlike
reading and walking which seems that many can do).


IMHO, Horny makes a fine balance to the Helen Fielding books.  Enjoyed
ABOUT A BOY & HIGH FIDELITY (still have to read FEVER PITCH. Heard the
other day on Fresh Air that it was made into a film w/ Colin Firth?!)
HF helped me understand some males (especially the x) and, yes, I could
REALLY understand the mix tape & record collection craziness.  Could
be that John Cusack thing, but I even liked the film with all it's
changes. Think it was decently done (Mark really didn't care for it,
something about unsympathetic characters -- one can see he doesn't have
that John Cusack thing).

Right... blathered on a bit too much and tomorrow morning will come
horribly quick. 
  

    
Ummm... Horny should be Hornby.  ::red faced::  Did I mention I'm the
worlds worst speller (even with spellcheck)?
  

    
Suzanne - No you didn't, but I certainly don't think any less of you.
I've done much worse. :) I would love to get more tracks done. Thought
I was going back into the studio last week, only got stuck at work.
Then I tried calling my bandmate (whom I haven't spoken to in over a
month now, to give him time to work through some difficult personal
stuff) and never got an answer. Found out later that the phone only
takes messages, and otherwise doesn't work. So today I tried the cell
phone... only to find he hasn't paid the bill. I'm starting to wonder
if I have a band any more. (insert much evil grumbling and muttering
here) And thanks for the encouragement.

Erynn - Or you could have a planter of growing catnip at the opposite
end of the room and let them tear that up. Since my parents got one,
the cats have stopped tearing up the rest of the plants (can't be
bothered to leave the catnip plant), tho' the brain-damaged kitty still
steals the rocks out of one planter because they are fun to roll
around the house. :)

Out of idle curiousity, who all will be attending the bay area and LA
signings (since apparently I'll be at several - oh, don't act so
suprised)? 

squeaks, who really planned on being asleep an hour ago.
  

    
::chuckles:: ummm... sleep... that's for the weak. Or so I seem to
mutter to myself instead of sleeping. However, due to insomnia last
night, after listening to Seeing Theater Ear's 1st portion of KINDRED
(it kept loosing the connection) at about 2am, I found myself listening
to MURDER MYSTERIES.  A delicious shudder which caused strange dreams.


Michelle... hope you are able to get a hold of the bandmate.  From
watching bands, it seems that actually making it to recording sessions
and rehearsals are the hardest part.  Life often appears to get in the
way. However, if you can put the time aside... it's rewarding (or so
those musician friends of mine are always saying -- hmmm... could be
the alcohol or mind altering substances speaking thought. ::winks::). 
Good luck... you'll always have the band as long as you've got the
music.


Well... I think I'll raise a hand about the SoCA signings.  If by
car... it's about a 6 to 8 hour drive to San Diego (however I'd get to
stop at the Arrogant Bastard Brewery and make Mark a very happy
camper)... then driving to LA from SD is about another hour or 2
(depending on traffic). Unfortunately, I don't drive as the crow flies
and I suppose that in itself will allow Mark to live longer. Thus
considering flying down and renting a car... however, still need to
figure out times and such (specially since I don't know the locations
and I might not have a co-pilot.  Okay, so I get really grumpy when I
don't know where I'm going... it only really happens when there's a
destination and a time line I'm on.)  Sooo with all that said... I've
some planning to do within the coming weeks. If I recall correctly,
there should be some SoCa folk attending signings.
  

    
        Am reading Michael Chabon's _The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and
Clay_, and it's quite good.  Despite the fact that he apparently takes
the world's most obnoxious-looking author photo, (I mean seriously,
it's rare that a photo creates in me the instant impulse to slap the
subject) the novel is well-written and lots of fun.  It's about a
couple young comics creators who get in at the dawn of the industry and
create some hit characters, and what happens to them.  There's
references to Siegel and Schuster, Eisner having to testify in one of
the Superman lawsuits, all that kind of thing.  Definitely worth a
read, IMHO.  There's even one bit that I could swear is an oblique
Sandman reference.  Sure, it concerns a Czech kid and a Brooklyn kid
creating a heroine called Luna Moth in 1941, but, to me at least, when
someone spends a page discussing groundbreaking, genre-expanding comics
about a character who fights in the dream realm, the association seems
obvious.
  

    
Ok, had my Neil dream.  I was supposed to pick him up at the airport,
which in my dream was "Columbia Airport," located on the Upper East
Side of Manhattan.  I wasn't going to make it, so I sent a French
teacher from the school where I teach in my stead-- she picked Neil up
in their re-tooled convertable Studebaker Lark and spent the day
cruising around Manhattan.  I tried to email Neil to make sure he made
it ok, but I couldn't get my email program to work.

Which is to say, Neil, I hope you're not counting on me to pick you up
at the airport.

I don't even have a drivers license.
  

    
JaNell -- I wish my grandmother had known the meaning of the word
"relax".  Coincidentally, she also wrote reams of poetry.  She
destroyed most of it, but my mother succeeded in stealing a few
notebooks of it before they were heaved into the fireplace.  It's
interesting stuff, but reading it was not nearly so revealing as her
notes in the margins of these books are.

Today I am reading her _Best Science Fiction Stories of the Year_,
edited by Lester Del Rey, circa 1975.  At first it appeared that she
had crossed out the entire last page (comprising the final four
paragraphs) of Harlan Ellison's "Sleeping Dogs", but upon closer
inspection I saw that the Ellison story was intact and that she had
simply removed the story that followed it, Vonda  N. McIntyre's "The
Mountains of Sunset, the Mountains of Dawn", leaving the last page only
because its flip side was the first page of the next story..  Flipping
through the book, I see that the only other story that has been
'edited' is "Mute Inglorious Tam" by Frederik Pohl and C.M. Kornbluth,
which has been crossed out entirely with a little note at the top that
says "Pointless   morbid".

Dan -- I too was pleased that Gilliam seemed so passionate about the
film, and so frustrated by the limitations of a two hour film.  I would
hope that they'd let him make a slightly longer movie if he thought he
needed to.  I mean, that little movie about the boat was longer than
two hours... ^^

Mary -- I too too always unpack my Gaiman first.  The Gaiman, the two
Dougies (Adams and Coupland), the RAW, and my other assorted goodies
always come first, usually in that order.
     I have two Sedaris anecdotes: [1] I grew up in Durham NC, one
town over from David and Amy.  I was always liked his pieces on "This
American Life" and chanced to get an invitation to some sort of event
for bookstore owners and the like on the event of "Naked" being
released.  I got to meet David briefly and was given a little square
pin with a pair of boxers on it that says "naked" (a la the cover). 
[2] A girl from another forum in which I post frequently emailed me one
day to say that the day before, delirious with fever, she'd wandered
out of the house and gone downtown to a bookstore.  Walking in, she saw
"Me Talk Pretty One Day" and became immediately certain that "David
Sedaris" was my pen name, so she bought the book expected to find my
writings there.  The next day, after the fever broke, she was somewhat
disappointed to realize that I am not, in fact, David Sedaris; she
really liked the book, though, so that's good.

Streak -- That sounds like an interesting read.  I'll have to look for
it.
  

    
Finally, first post on the new account. I figured I'd be better off
trying to retract my own words from now on. :)

Neil--
In regards to the EW photoshoot, was that for Death, Avalon, Good
Omens or AG? Can't wait to hear the AG photo story.

Very strange question to the group: After a couple of lends and a
couple of moves, I appear to have lost the dust jacket for my hardcover
of Fables and Reflections. I know it's terribly unlikely that somebody
knows of a spare someplace, but it's worth the asking.