Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Our next guest, Francesca De Grandis, has been a grass-roots spiritual
activist for nearly two decades. She was born into a family of what she
dubs "blue collar eccentrics." Religious oral tradition and the oral
literature of disenfranchised groups are strong influences on her writing.
She considers the prayers and other liturgy in her books, as well as her
prose, all poetry. She tries to write in a way that honors common language
as *sacred* poetry. She says, "I want my poems to provide spiritual
practices that make a practical difference, and to be like women's
handmade baskets that carry food, passion and personal victories that
mirror universal experiences. Gorgeous baskets/poems/prose that can
actually carry water or be used to rock a child to sleep."
 
De Grandis' book, Goddess Initiation : A Practical Celtic Program for
Soul-Healing, Self-Fulfillment and Wild Wisdom (HarperSanFrancisco) is
based in material that has helped Francesca’s students and clients with
everything from creating great sex, to conquering depression, to
effectively parenting to finding personal happiness. It is a book that can
help you discover what is meaningful to you personally and on a larger
scale, and act on your insights. De Grandis’s first book, Be a Goddess!,
is already a classic in its genre.
 
Leading the discussion is Sherry Thrash, who recently celebrated her 6th
anniversary as a member of The Well.  She currently hosts the quiet little
conference *not* known as POW - Pagan.ind.  She has officially been a
practicing solitary Witch for almost 20 years.  She now seeks a communion,
on a daily basis, with the source of all life, and recognizes that source
as Goddess.

Please join me in welcoming Francesca and Sherry to inkwell.vue!
  

    <scribbled by izzie Thu 1 Nov 01 11:40>
  

    

(the above post was scribbled due to a needed pseudonym change)

 Welcome, Francesca!

 I wanted to start out by asking you about what first really popped out at
me
 in _Goddess Initiation_....  You state that shamanic training can be for
 anyone, including Christians (and I'm assuming other monotheists as well).
 I can understand that, but I'm thinking that some folks would disagree -
and
 some even strongly so.  Can you elaborate on how a practicing Christian
 could incorporate your path into her everyday life and faith?
  

    
I was raised Catholic, by a witch! Mom was a talented psychic. 

People who are practical and/or ardent in their  spiritual quest don't
organize everything according to little tiny boxes, labeled “Orthodox,
Thus Okayed for Usage” and “Unorthodox, Thus Not To Be Used.” :-)
Smart people use what ever is going to help them be happy, be moral and
make a difference in the world.

For example, one client came to me because she loved Jesus but felt
frustrated in her relationship with Him. In ritual with me she realized
she wanted to be in her church choir.  In other words, she realized
when we worked together that spirituality expressed through music was a
more meaningful way to practice Christianity for her. Then, through
more rituals, she also gained the inner resources to, in fact, join the
choir.
  

    

   Hi there, Francesca!  I haven't seen the book yet, so please pardon
if this is addressed therein, but I was wondering about connections
between this and some of your previous work, I'm particularly thinking
of some of what I recall you having to say to children and other young
spirits (e.g. some of the material on your CD "Apple").
  

    
Bob, what a nice surprise that you’re joining us! Great!

I see each of my books, as well as my music album that you refer to --
“Pick the Apple From the Tree”, --  as standing on their own, whole
unto themselves, accessible to novices yet useful for advanced
practitioners. But I also see each of my works as part of a body of
material that I produce. 

On one hand, Goddess Initiation stands on its own, as sound lessons in
magic, a  thorough shamanic training, a shamanic journey into the
world of mystical power, and a self-help program to help you live life
according to your own definitions and personal meanings. 

In fact, the book is a lot of other things, too: it took 13 years to
develop the material on which it is based, and the manuscript before
the publisher typeset it was between maybe 420-470 pages. For 
shamanism to be really helpful, it has to touch many of our needs.
Humans are complex beings, and spirituality has many dimensions. 

On the other hand, my various projects works together. For example,
you mention “Pick the Apple..” In its song, “Nimue”, (She is a child
aspect of the Goddess), which I wrote for adults, but found that many
children listen to, I wrote “Nimue, teach me to dance like a child —
wicked and pure, proud and sure.” We need to be like children if we are
going to find God(dess) within us and see God(ess) mirrored in others.
When we recognize that deity in all things, we come to honor all
living beings. But we need as many ways to find that deity as possible.
So each of my books helps further that process. 

But finding the god(dess) within is just one example. Bottom line, I
think my books help readers create miracles in their lives and in the
world we live in (No false modesty there!) But we need as many miracles
as possible in this world, so I’ll keep writing books.
  

    
Oops! Let me correct something above: I think that *any* *one* of my
books on its own helps readers create huge miracles but since we all
need many many miracles, I’ll keep writing books.

Good grief, I sound so arrogant. 

But it is not me writing these books, it is the Goddess.
  

    

Do you know a Kathleen Brown?  If so, I think I know you from another
life. :)
  

    
Hi Francesca,

I'm not familiar with your work, but I'm looking forward to changing
that!  You said:

>I wrote “Nimue, teach me to dance like a child — wicked and pure,
proud and sure.” We need to be like children if we are going to find
God(dess) within us and see God(ess) mirrored in others. When we
recognize that deity in all things, we come to honor all living beings.


That put me in mind of the huge, pure, unsocialized *rage* that
children can express.  In young children it is sometimes extravagant
and beautiful to behold, and then in older children, we are often just
plain terrified.  We make efforts to thwart, channel, direct, but it
seems to me we don't often just listen and appreciate, probably because
we don't quite know why we would want to do so, or what we would
listen for.  One aspect of the Goddess is outraged! wrathful! fierce!
-- what do you suggest to parents encountering this energy, looking for
a way to appreciate and understand it, while at the same time raising
a healthy child?
  

    

keta, that's a great question!  Francesca, how do you translate your path
for children?
  

    
Lena, hi! Yes, Kathleen is a dear friend of mine. We go way back. How
great that you and I have that connection!

Rip, I love what you said. (I always think someone is brilliant if
they view things the same way I do. <grin>) 

How to honor your child’s anger? I would suggest you listen: affirm
their right to their feelings by listening; only after you’ve done that
can you analyze, correct, or otherwise try to help them process the
anger, without it seeming an invalidation. One might also affirm
through a hug while the young one is ranting, or by nodding and saying
“Uh huh, yes, I know what you mean.”

Also, make boundaries. Don’t let children hurt others in anger; when a
child is allowed to act mean because he or she is angry, they feel bad
about themselves, and don’t learn the healthy part of anger.

Sherry, to answer your question: with adults I focus on practice
rather than theory. Spiritual practice is what helps us be happy and
grow. It is the same with children. Give them something constructive to
do instead of preaching. 

Also, I often teach my classes by modeling shamanic behavior. For
example, a shaman’s magic comes about in part because she (or he) is so
tuned into the present that she can really use, affirm, celebrate and
perhaps shift the unique energy that each moment offers. So when I
teach, I try to go with the flow doing what I can to embody that
principle, thus teaching by example.  In the same vein,  a parent can
teach a child Goddess Spirituality by modeling it: recycling;
supporting diversity; respecting wildlife; making prayers that are
honest and perhaps joyful, instead of prayers that are shame-based or
fearful.
  

    
I find it interesting that the questions so far have been about
children, since my work is mostly with adults. Is it simply that the
first question was about young-uns and that set a tone? Or are we all
parents? Or is it just that we are all children at heart? :-) 

Someone once looked at my classroom and thought I taught kindergarten!
But the Goddess, being a *pagan* deity, wants us to have fun and find
fulfillment in our work. So I try to embody that in my presentations
and I guess that affects the way my classroom looks sometimes. 

I do silly things at book signings to get people to laff. I did a book
signing a few days ago in this fabulous bookstore -- Stacey’s in San
Francisco. And, mind you, this is a three-story, mainstream store, I
sprinkled Faerie dust on everyone. We laughed very hard! Spirituality
and fun should go hand in hand. Besides, a bit of sacred tomfoolery
opens our hearts to the possibility of change, opens us to hope, opens
us to god(dess).
  

    
Boy, I can relate to that. Some of us get in trouble occasionally because
we're still kids, even in middle-age, and know it, and act it. <grin>
  

    

Francesca, since we're not quite discussing _Goddess Initiation_ yet (and we
will be - I assure you!), allow me to pose a question concerning your
practices.  You state early on in _Be A Goddess_ that one needen't cast a
circle to cast a spell.  I personally don't work well In Circle, much to the
dismay of many other people.  Can you elaborate some on when you would and
would not cast a Circle?  The advantages and disadvantages of both
practices?  Do you think that it is ever absolutely necessary to cast?
(...she asked, greedily seeking knowledge for her own uses!!!)
  

    
jon, I get into sooo much trouble. But it is mostly good trouble! :-)

Sherry, not to worry. We *are* discussing “Goddess Initiation.” For
example: the book helps folks find the fun and healthy sex that the
Goddess wants us all to have. And what I said about being eclectic in
your spiritual practices, well, the book teaches a spiritual path that
is about being as eclectic as you want. See, not to worry!

As to your circle question: I am big on practice rather than theory.
Circle is all very well and good for some folks’ way of doing things,
but if you’re going to have ritual as part of your every day, really
part of the ins and outs of your ongoing hours all day long, you can’t
be casting circle every two seconds. You need simple, direct, effective
spells. Circle, at least as I teach it in “Goddess Initiation”, is for
extra focus, protection, and oomph, when you need it 

Mind, you, I am talking about magic as it is done in The Third Road®,
which is the system I teach and write about. Other systems may need
circle for all rituals, but anything I say about shamanism or magic or
Wicca or spirituality is specific to The Third Road. 

As to your question about necessity,  I wouldn’t venture to say to
Wiccans at large whether it is necessary to cast or not, since
everyone’s style is unique. And even in the Third Road community,
everyone’s unique style is supported as part of the actual curriculum,
even in my books, so again, it is usually a personal thing.
  

    

Next question, then...
When I hear "ritual", I think of robes, incense, bells, blades,
goblets...the whole shootin' match.  Perhaps that is Ritual, instead of
ritual?  When cooking, for example, where does the ritual/Ritual come in?
For me, I have some pretty pat routines - like for my child's bedtime.  I
would like to infuse of my routine with my spirituality.  Is this what you
mean by have ritual in our everyday lives?
  

    
You understand the essence -- the core -- of ritual, which is to, as
you say, “infuse my routine with my spirituality.”  The other part of
that deep heart of magic is to recognize the unique power of any
situation and use, celebrate or, if need be, change it.  If incense,
candles and magic wands do the trick, so be it. But if a hug does the
trick, use the hug!  Celtic spirituality, which is what I teach, is
practical and down-to-earth. 

But does that answer the essence of your question? I want to make sure
I addressed what you are *really* asking. In fact, hey, *everyone,* if
at any time my response does not really address the heart of your
question, let me know. I aim to serve.

When cooking, I might burn a pink candle -- pink, magically speaking,
being a homey, cozy color -- to affirm the sacredness of the food I am
about to eat. But I needn’t do any more that just light that candle,
needn’t do a chant or prayer, unless  a chant or prayer is what is
needed to meet the unique moment cooking can be. The candle alone might
tickle my deepest self into realizing “Hey, this is not just a menial
chore. I can slow down and enjoy the colors of the food, the quiet of
being alone in the kitchen, and the knowledge that friends will be here
soon to break bread with me.” 

But you needn’t even use a candle. If you, for example, are feeling
grumpy and resentful that you have to cook too often lately, you can
use your imagination to send that resentment down to the earth, and
thus free up the inner delight at what cooking can actually mean.
Again, you needn’t do any more than get in touch with the icky feelings
and send them down. Simple, but effective: *real* ritual, in the sense
that it really works and is relevant to one’s actual life. Very
traditional shamanism.
  

    

O yeah!  I'm liking these ideas more and more.
  

    
I just about *knew* you would relate. You seem a down n’ dirty,
to-the-point,  *old-fashioned* witch-babe-a-go-go!

But the simplicity of ritual that I am talking about is deceptive.
What I say here is oversimplified because we’re chatting on-line
instead of involved in a full-out training. The outward ritual may
appear simple and without trappings, but the internal process is
another thing. That is where the real magic happens; in, among other
things, one’s well-developed imagination, fine honed focus, experienced
use of visualization, unencumbered will, ability to draw and shape
power, and the personality made so healthy that it can cast spells
effectively. A shaman is her/his own most important magical tool. 

And those internal assets are what is developed in shamanic training.
For example, one’s inward blocks to self-worth, fulfillment, and joy
make one a less effective magical being. That's why I emphasize
cleansing of one’s inner blocks so much when I train people in shamanic
ritual, whether its in “Goddess Initiation” or in a class.

This purification is relevant in more ways than one might imagine.
Let’s say one is doing a ritual to create prosperity or a great sex
life, and trying to have that fine honed focus I spoke of. During that
ritual, as one gets in touch with one’s deep longing for a better life
or fulfilling sex, that focus is going to go kaput if one is  suddenly
filled with guilt about wanting happiness or seeking passion.
  

    <scribbled by izzie Mon 5 Nov 01 07:17>
  

    
Sherry, there is nothing in your message. Hm, I *am* psychic but I
think it would be better if you told me outright what your question or
comment is. :-)

Joking aside, I am only posting this so you would see the "new post'
mesage and thus discover that your post misfired.
  

    
Francesca,

Okay, I'm stuck.  I want to talk/hear about how your Third Road
teaching is different from other self-help pratices in outcome.  As
I've been reading, I've been reminded of the teachings of self-love,
discontinuing the "old tapes", treating others with absolute respect as
we start to respect ourselves, no one's issues being original or
unusual...  all things I've seen or heard elsewhere.  But I cannot lose
the sense of This Is Different!  There Is More Here!!  What am I not
being able to put a finger on?  Even the spirituality - it's been
taught in a similar vein by others (I'm thinking of 12-Step programs in
particular here).  But there's something different...  

So that's why there has been no question why- I'm really stuck!  I
know the, uh, stuckage is mine, and last night, it was sent to and
kissed by my Star.  The result seems to be that I'm writing this down
and sending it to you!  The stuckage: "I know there is something more,
something deeper about this program than others I've seen. Why can't I
talk about it??"  The result: "Hey, Francesca...."

I'm almost done reading Goddess Initiation, and have started my first
month's work - which for me is very exciting, but doesn't transfer
well into interview format.  I think I have a pretty healthy ego, with
a humility I interpret as acceptance of an honest self-appraisal.  But
I'm still learning alot through your teaching.  I don't know that I'd
really call myself an adept, but my soul's in good shape, my life is
very fulfilling, my sex life is good...yadda yadda yadda...  But I'm
still learning and growing even so.

There *is* something different about this!!
  

    
(for everyone else's benefit...)
I could not manage to put my question into words, and forgot to
scribble the blank post.  I then emailed Francesca, as you see above. 
We'll leave it at that!!!!

(and I was posting as she was posting, which in The Well, we call a
Slip)

Francesca slipped!
  

    

I haven't started the first month yet, and I also feel that there is
something different about it.  

Lately, as I've been on my own spiritual path, which has consisted mainly
of looking for a spiritual path to be on, I've had the feeling that I
should be the one leading, instead of looking for someone, or something,
to follow.  I say this because each thing that I have encountered has felt
like the same old thing.  And yet, this book is really striking a chord
with me, and I hope it will truly help me get unstuck in significant areas
of my life.  I want to stop sabotaging success in my life, and I hope that
the practice will help there.  I want to be able to see a path forward for
myself on all levels, not just spiritual, and I hope that it will help
with that as well.

Could you talk about being stuck, what you think it means, and how people
can get unstuck in their lives?
  

    
Sherry, Thank you for your breathtaking, brave post! Ditto, Linda: you
are both so forthcoming. This is great! We can have a *real* talk as
people who are trying to improve our lives and have an honest focus on
spiritual growth! Wow!

I am honored that you are doing the training. Completely, thoroughly
honored and flattered. Omigoddess!

Everyone, Sherry's “kissed by a star” refers to a ritual in “Goddess
Initiation.” In the ritual, you send an inner block -- EG fear of
success, inability to trust or perhaps even hear your inner voice,
invalidation of your healthy anger -- to a special star in the sky. The
star kisses the block turning it into a trait more suited to a
successful fulfilled life.

Sherry, the confusion you state is perfect for an interview format.
Because it is your personal and intelligent dilemma, part of your
unique journey. Which is what a happy life and magic are really about. 

One of the goals of the shamanic training in Goddess Initiation (GI)
is to help everyone validate their very personal, unique journey,
including its confusion and worries. Those confusions and worries hold
the essence of who we.

Another part of GI’s training is rituals that help people voice those
unique thoughts and feelings, which is part of how we become unstuck in
our lives, Linda. Perhaps Sherry voices it as an interview question
but someone else might “voice” it by dancing, or by hugging the
kindergartners she teaches and thus “voice” her belief that folks need
hugs everyday.

As to what is different in the book: It is not me, that is for sure.
I’m just a spiritual brat who argues with God all the time: She
suggests something that could really make me happy and I say “Thanks
very much for the input. But I want to go do things my way, and be
miserable.” :-)

What *is* different is that this book is not from me. It is from the
Goddess. So it works. All the same old cliches, tools and so on in the
book can’t work if they are not applied correctly. So She wrote a book
in which proper application and context are everything.

As to your question “How are the book’s results different?” Hee hee
hee, the difference is that the material actually works! (I have no
false humility!) I’m a miracle worker when it comes to helping folks be
whole and happy. (Oh, this sounds so arrogant!) And I hate books that
put little bitty band-aids on deep soul wounds. I spend years
developing the curriculum I publish . And when I see students years
after our classes together, I am blown away because they seem bigger
than life: long term results came of their use of the Third Road. (The
Third Road is the curriculum I teach and publish.)

This doesn't mean that if you do the training, everything turns into a
perfectly blank-minded cow-like lightness and sweet, sticky, fake
goodness. That would be what results from heroin, not from healthy
spirituality. Spirituality is not a drug 

Life is truly tuff. I tried to create a curriculum that does not gloss
over life's challenges and contradictions, but integrates them into
one’s approach to living. And I hate the unnecessary pain that happens
when people have to face life’s challenges alone!!!!! So part of what I
create is material that helps folks during challenges, big and small
-- the challenge of creating a better career, or of writing a poem, or
the trauma of incest or of being in a war -- and helps folks come out
of it whole and healthy. So many people feel too small to make a
difference in their own life and in other people lives; that is not
necessary.

As to Sherry being a together person, yet the book is still working
for you: The Goddess wrote this book and, hey, She is God, so She is
pretty savvy and powerful! So She “meets” the reader: whoever you are,
whether healthy or high functioning, or terribly wounded from childhood
abuse, or both, whether you know lotsa magic or are a novice, the book
meets you as a unique being with unique needs and goals. I couldn't
write such a book, being limited as a human being, but She is a great
writer! :-)

Linda, an important part of shamanic training is acknowledging that we
are all leaders. I may lead a spiritual class, but someone else may
lead by booking the best possible bands for a venue. Someone else leads
by raising kids; we all have our expertise. It may not always show as
overt leadership: someone leads by example if they are courteous as a
check-out person at a local grocery store. Maybe what you are
responding to in the book is that. And that the training is about
drawing out *your* own unique spiritual path. 

Linda, Sherry’s use of Kissed By a Star is an example of someone
getting unstuck in a very practical way. The ritual cleared up enough
that she could voice her confusions in her post; maybe the rite helped
her write her direct, honest letter that outlines a passionate dilemma
that reflects her beauty and depth and that of everyone else’s.

When we keep clearing inner blocks we are no longer stuck and can
write (create art, live a life style, have a marriage, etc) that is
personal and honest and useful. 

In the 1960’s people proclaimed “I’m free, I’m free.” But many people
who, for example, proclaimed sexual freedom were not sexually happy.
Rituals loosen up the inner blocks to walking the talk. The shamanic
journey is in part about discovering those blocks and cleansing them
away.
  

    
Hi, Francesca.

I’m wandering in here relatively unprepared.  I haven’t read your
books, but I was really curious about the conference subject and the
title of your book.  I think, more than anything, it was the “wild
wisdom” in the title that drew me.  There’s something there that I
recognize, that I’ve known my whole life, something that’s accompanied
me as long as I can remember...

And reading through your responses, I’ve just realized that I’m still
looking for something about that... something that makes sense to me in
your words.

Like Linda, I was on a searching path for several years.  I read the
Amazon.com reviews for your book, and Scott Schulz, a GI initiate,
wrote: “This is the Third Road/The road that chooses you.”  That’s what
my search felt like.  Rather than finding a *new* path, my journey was
more like finding the *right* path.  As though I’d been lost, finally
realized why I felt so displaced, and went looking for Home.

I’ve been involved in a neopagan practice for a year, primarily in
groups.  But I’ve felt something missing.  And I haven’t known where to
look or what to do about it, really.  And it has to do with this thing
that feels like “wild wisdom,” for lack of any better name to call it
by.  And it has to do with what you said about putting “little bitty
band-aids on deep soul wounds,” and with “we’re all leaders.”  

My experience of healing is that it’s a circle--an ever-deepening,
ever-widening circle that reaches for and integrates whatever/whomever
it contacts.  Both wounding and healing in my life have encompassed my
sexuality, my art and my magic.  Because there’s *power* there.  

But in my neopagan practice, there is something in me that feels a
sense of putting small ritual-bandaids on large powers, and is
frustrated by that.  Because that’s not the Thing/Person/Place that
I’ve known.  Again, it feels related to what you said about the 60’s
sexual revolution: the acting-out without the spiritual faculty.  Or
something.

I’m definitely planning to get your book and do the work.  But, in the
meantime, I’m really interested in what you have to say about the
connection of these powers, this Power... the Power that I feel
inhabits all of these areas of my life.  Something that feels like
“Wild Wisdom.”

I’d also like to know any specifically Celtic spiritual tools or
Goddesses you’d recommend working with.