Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
irates along the coast of C-
  

    
alifornia, not to meantion the sharks, after all it is a geosyncline. 
W-
  

    
hat is a geosyncline? you ask.  Well, that's for me to know and you to f-
  

    
ollow the mountain down to the oceans' bottom.  The Atlantic is not
like that!  I-
  

    
f only you could walk all the way to Hawaii, but the jellyfish get in the w-
  

    
ebbing of Barry Bonds' glove. Opposing pitchers decide to walk him
anyway, tossing four straight b-
  

    
eeline pitches where he cannot reach 'em with his bat. So, Bonds jogs
down the line to first base, only to find the ba-
  

    
bes in toyland are playing a different kind of g-
  

    
argoyle for all it's worth.

Bonds doesn't care. He doesn't even notice. He's busy pr-
  

    
eparing for the SATs, and has nightmares about taking it na-
  

    
proxen-free. The pain he anticipates makes him entirely forget his ga-
  

    
rage band past. Instead, he decides to take up playing the b-
  

    
assoon, and posts notices on the bulletin board at the music school lo-
  

    
sing you any chance at an appreciative audience.  Music schools turn out
more teachers than pl-
  

    
ayer piano mimes.  You can perform standing on your head b-
  

    
ut no one will be able to put money in your hat, so a sl-
  

    
ot machine is more entertaining, especially when you pull the h-
  

    
air of the person standing next to you, and she screams and makes
everyone think she's won a j-
  

    
aguar in the Sigfried and Roy Clearance Sale, but it turned out she
only w-
  

    
anted you to let go, you big ruffian. You can also play the slots standing
on your head, though it makes the casino bosses nervous. They worry you
might just tr-
  

    
ip over one of the stuffed white tigers that have suddenly appeared ev-
  

    
enings at 7:00 and 9:00, 2 drink minimum. It takes a while for some of
the heavier imbibers to figure out the tigers are stuffed and not mo-
  

    
tivational speakers; but that's just as well since most of them ex-
  

    
plain themselves in only the skeetchiest of terms and you have to really pr-
  

    
od your brain to grep some meaning.  Don't walk too fast, though, i-