Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
gnant penguins to step forward and demonstrate their heterosexuality, and t-
  

    
otter about for our amusement. For something completely different, today
we'll bring in the pre-
  

    
eminent animal behaviorist from the University of Eastern West Virginia, Ed-
  

    
wardian in clothing but most definitely post-modern in at-
  

    
tic restorations. He strongly recommends against using repro-
  

    
ductive freedom as a wedge issue this year, because Bush must go and no-
  

    
d his head in front of the pr-
  

    
incipal, just like any other naughty little b-
  

    
astard who cares more for his own pocketbook than the welfare of others.  Th-
  

    
eories aside, what he really needs is a g-
  

    
ood old-fashioned lesson in modern history, and a dose of b-
  

    
lackberry tart with clotted cream, served in g-
  

    
reat big bowls that we bought at the surplus store.  I think they were once
u-
  

    
nderneath the sink at headquarters - but, ever since the revolution,
we've been unable to keep them in s-
  

    
tock because every tinhorn despot has to have 'em if they want to make e-
  

    
Bay really work for them. It's the clotted cream that d-
  

    
efines the dish, but the variations that have been documented over the y-
  

    
a-ya sisterhood's lifetime are too numerous to men-
  

    
tion in the time we have allotted.  But if you drop us an email we'll re-
  

    
quire you to surrender at last 73% of your m-
  

    
other's sterling silver. And make sure it's polished before sending it
to the W-
  

    
hite House -- those people have a great need for shiny objects to da-
  

    
te-and-time-stamp everything, just in case the regulators decide to p-
  

    
ad their expense accounts with receipts they picked up on the fl-
  

    
amenco dance circuit. I know it's embarassing, but owning the truth is
the first step to h-