Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Amy Berger is a smart and funny woman who's spent years on the battlefield
of corporate America and lived to tell about it.

Her book, The Twenty Year Itch: Confessions of a Corporate Warrior, has been
compared to "Dilbert in prose, from a female point of view."
  

    
Amy, welcome to the InkWELL.

Before we get into the book itself, can you tell us something about the
experience of self-publishing? What's that been like for you?
  

    
Most of the time it has been tortuous.  The need for attention to
detail is great and I'd much rather be writing humor than
checking font size, negotiating with printers and/or verifying Library
of Congress cataloging requiremnts.  (And just
when I was trying to retire from being a perfectionist! :-)
That said, however, I'm glad I did it.  Having my book published, and
out there for others to enjoy is a dream come true. 
  

    
But just think -- you have total control over marketing and distribution.
(That's kind of a joke, considering that many of us who go with major
publishers, expecting that we're going to get major promotional support, end
up doing it all ourselves, anyway.)

To _The Twenty Year Itch_. You were intentionally, I'm sure, vague about the
identities of the specific companies where you worked. Names have been
changed to protect the guilty, etc. etc. Don't you fear getting into a
"You'll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again" situation? Do you still have
friends "on the inside"?
  

    
What a great question, Reva.  Actually I showed a copy of the
manuscript to my boss at the time just to get a real world
respose from one person who had inspired me to write the book..I was
nervous at first to show it to her, but I figured, what's the worst
that could happen?  Even if she wanted to fire me, she didn't have any
proof that she was mentioned since all names are fictitious... As is
turns out, she told me she enjoyed the book immensely! Then she
sheepishly asked if my experience at the company (where we both worked
at the time) had influenced my writing.
I said something like "yes, but remember I've worked many places
before I arrived here." The book, in essence, is a compilation of
bosses and experiences I"ve had over the past two decades, all melded
into a few exaggerated characters and incidents.  In that way, writing
the book was kind of like baking a cake!
  

    
That was a very diplomatic response; points for thinking on your feet, Amy!
But c'mon, I've got to believe that, say, the shy,retiring engineer who
showed up at the company Hallowe'en party in a, shall we say, rather
revealing costume, wasn't a composite character.

A dear friend of mine who's never been sure he fits in anywhere has talked
about "being at the party" versus "watching yourself being at the party."
Was there a point at which you suddenly realized that you just couldn't take
corporate America seriously? Had you been climbing the ladder and playing the
game when it struck you that it was all pretty absurd and you'd better go
for the humorous angle if you were going to salvage anything from the
experience? Or did you feel from the beginning, like my friend, that it was
=all= kind of surreal, that you were the outside observer from the day you
were hired?

Sorry if this sounds like I'm psychoanalyzing you. I promise a softball
question next!
  

    
You're right about my engineer friend who wore the blue spandex tights
by the way....he was one real human being! And a brave one at that
:-)...anyway, to answer your question: for many years I took working in
Corporate America very seriously and put alot of energy into being
accepted--- which often meant being promoted, from my view. I think the
book idea came to me as a coping mechanism...at the time, I was
working for a woman who really challenged my ability to stand up for
myself.  Also my husband and I were trying to conceive and having no
luck at it...between both of those challenging experiences I needed a
laugh, or two, or three hundred!  I needed to rise above my life
situations and poking fun at work was the easiest thing to do at the
time.  I wish I had been able to lighten up about the corporate scene
earlier, kind of like your friend; it really wasn't until my third year
at my most current job that I saw everything at work as 'material' for
the book, funny, and surreal.
  

    <scribbled by reva Mon 27 Sep 99 16:27>
  

    
Embarrassing typo; sorry. So it began as therapy, eh?

How about telling us a couple of your favorite (assuming that's the right
word) stories from the corporate battlefield.
  

    <hidden>
  

    
Two of my favorites: the time I wore very nice sandals (with socks
underneath for warmth) to work on what became a very rainy day.  Being
the clever former Girl Scout I am, I decided to take my drenched socks
and try to get them dry...rather than suffer for four hours with soggy,
cold feet. I had just received a cool new space heater for my cube; I
thought since it was tucked away in a corner I could get away with
drying the socks on the heater, unnoticed.  After I placed them gently
over my new fadangled heating device I went to the Ladies room.  When I
returned,  6 of my colleagues--and my boss--were gathered around my
cube, pointing to the sock/heater setup and laughing hysterically. I
coped very well I must admit, with real elegance.....so much for trying
to remain incognito.
The other story: After being advised by my boss that I didn't 'fit in'
at a particular job, I was given seven weeks to look elsewhere for
employment while on the payroll---either at home or from the office.
After three long days of sending resumes from my home office I decided
to go into work and do some cube-cleaning.  When I arrived, my name had
already been removed from the department wall roster and my very nice,
ergonomically correct chair was GONE!  This after only three days!   I
immediately contacted my boss and HIS boss to ask, in the most
innocent, coquettish way, what had happened to my name on the board and
my lovely chair? I explained that there must have been some
miscommunication between OTHER parties while I was out of the office. 
Yes, there I was playing the corporate game until the bitter end...they
never did put my name back up but I got to use my chair up until the
11th hour!  And, just to prove the old never burn bridges theory, my
boss' boss has been a very
reliable job reference for me several times since I left that
position. 
  

    
I've hidden #9, since it looks like an inadvertent duplicate of #10.

Office chairs are such a loaded subject! I've personally witnessed people go
ballistic when they discover, or suspect, that someone has swapped chairs
with them. Apparently there are intranets -- corporate-wide private web
sites -- with entire discussion areas labeled something like "Hey! You Stole
My Chair!"

Your book is full of personal outrages and embarrassments (hey, where did
they EXPECT you to dry your socks, anyway? On a clothesline strung from one
corner of your cube to the other? Wet socks dripping on your  desk? Yeah,
right.). Can you identify any what-you-might-call universal hot buttons in
corporate life? You know, practices or whatever that seem to piss EVERYBODY
off?
  

    
The two things I've done in offices that most appear to wig people out
is to work only from the light from the window, turning off all the
fluorescents, and to go around barefoot.  Spawned a whole office memo
about that one.
  

    

Heh. Just about everybody on the outer perimeter of my floor, that is to
say the people with windows, work by natural light.

I have no windows, so overheads for me it is.
  

    

These experiences are great, and the book sounds very interesting, but I
can't quite tell, yet whether it's a novel, or essays, or a collection of
experiences you've had, or...?
  

    
(I had a phone message from Amy last night -- her cable modem has been down,
and she hasn't been able to get online. With any luck, it should be fixed
very shortly.)
  

    
Hello Amy!
Several of my friends run around barefoot in silicon valley, out here in
chicago, I tried the same thing and the expirement was quickly stopped with
intervention from my bosses boss.  He even said, 'This isn't San Jose, this
is chicago'

Where can we order your book.  I hyave one copy and I need to get a couple
more for gifts...
  

    
It's can be ordered from just about any bookstore with the ISBN number,
which is  096659150X .  It can also be ordered online from
barnesandnoble.com or amazon.com; signed and personalized copies are
available through www.amyberger.com.
  

    
Hello Reva, Fellow Corporate Warriors and other Dear Ones! I'm back in
cyberspace...Thanks for your fabulous input--great stories about going
barefoot :-)
In response to the question about the structure of the book: it has
seventeen chapters: each one is a compilation of funny incidences
grouped under one theme (ie. dress code, office decor, biz
travel,etc.). Intro and last chapter are philosophy and
summary,respectively, each with a humorous twist. The table of contents
can be viewed at barnesandnoble.com or Amazon.com and an excerpt is
there also.
In terms of other hot-buttons in corporate life:
Who pays for what.  For example, I once scheduled a lunch meeting with
a product manager, (in from out of town), my boss and myself.  I had
attended many lunches of this kind before, and my boss ALWAYS insisted
on picking up the tab.  At this particular lunch, however, I decided to
get bold and whip out my credit card when the check was delivered to
our table.  Casually asking my boss, 'hey, why don't I pay for us this
time, Barb? (not her real name), I made a motion to gather up the bill.
 Before I could blink, my boss reached over and GRABBED it from me
barely knocking me off my chair...then glared at me and bellowed, "This
is on Company X (ours) of course!" as she proceeded to place down her
plastic.  Because she was Assistant VP and I was 'only' a manager I
didn't have a chance.  I insulted her rank, I guess.  Bottom line: the
issues of hierarchy and money are highly interrelated.  And also
absurb.  At one company I worked at years ago, I knew a man who was in
charge of selecting hundreds of thousands dollars worth of telecom
equipment for purchase.  But, because he didn't have the 'right'
rank/title  he wasn't allowed to sign the purchase order.  Ridiculous!
Reva, by the way, I'd like to return briefly to the subject of
self-publishing.  I fear that I painted a rather negative picture of it
earlier in our conversation.
As you can imagine, self-publishing wasn't my first choice for The
Twenty Year Itch.  But, after many rejection letters from
agents/publishers I decided to simply finish what I started by
publishing the book myself.  I knew in my heart that there was a target
market for it and believed strongly (I still do) that we need more
healthy humor books on the shelf out there. I was really dogged about
publishing the book...so from that perspective it was an exciting
challenge for me.  Because I"ve done market research and number
crunching (data analysis)for a living, it was relatively easy for me to
find the correct resource people for the project and negotiate for
services with them ie. graphic artist, illustrator, art
director,printer, etc.  Bringing together all these folks with a
similar vision...and as a team making our vision a reality...was
exhilarating!  Ninety five percent of the people I tell that the book
is self-published are very impressed...a wonderful reaction that was
unanticipated.  Traditional journalists are the ones that seem to be
somewhat concerned about the self-publshed nature of the book, but
I've still been blessed with excellent newspaper coverage so far. 
There are so many independent presses out there today that
self-publishing is becoming more and more common it seems. I didn't
know ANY of this when I dove into the process.
AND...the good news is that I am so excited about the book...(and I'm
fueled by the wonderful email reviews I receive from my readers) that
its fun promoting the book myself, like you cited earlier.  All
promotion, marketing and sales is on MY head (with the help of my
terrific husband).  When I talk to journalists, bookstore
owners,corporate sponsors, audiences, etc. about it...I'm told that my
passion shines through. That's the best part about being the author AND
publisher of the book.
  

    
how did you go about finding out how to publish your own book?
where did you start?
  

    
And, while I think of it: Folks might want to check out Amy's own website at
www.amyberger.com. If you're reading this interview and don't have a WELL
account, you can submit comments and questions via email to inkwell-
hosts@well.com. We'll pass them along to our guest.
  

    
Also, Amy, I'd be interested in anything you might want to say for the
record about the whole issue of gender relative to the appeal of your book.
I can think of lots of reasons why women in particular would identify with the
incidents you describe. But I wonder if there's something intrinsic to cube
living, or to the way women vs. men cope with it...?
  

    
(due to a hard disk problem, Amy will be responding later from the library
computers -- as for me, I get to fix the hard disk tonight...)
  

    
Yes, it's your fearless author here reporting from the lovely City of
Fremont's library!
First, in answer to Gail's question about the process of
self-publishing:  I knew a few folks who recently self-published their
tomes from my affiliation with the National Speakers Association.
I am also a member of a women writers' support group (newcomers
welcome by the way) in which one member was self-publishing at the time
I started the process. I asked a zillion questions of all these kind
people and took copious notes. Then I bought a copy of Writers Digest
magazine and found 3 possible 'book manufacturers' (otherwise
known as printers).  I chose one with the right price and personality
fit for me.  The computer guy there (at the printer), plus the sales
gal both helped me greatly.  They explained everything I needed to do
and in what order.
Another great resource is the Dan Poynter book on self-publishing. 
Anything by him  on the topic is great. Just remember to ask alot of
questions....there's no time to be shy when you're self-publshing your
masterpiece :-).  
Regarding Reva's question about reactions to The Twenty Year Itch by
men vs. women: When I wrote the book I thought it would be of equal
appeal to both sexes.  That assumption was based on the fact I had
completed several motivational talks for mixed-gender audiences on the
topic of career changing, work empowerment and keeping ones sense of
humor on the job.  That turned out to be an incorrect assumption. When
I speak to audiences I relate differently than when I write. My writing
is much more tongue-and-cheek and lovingly self-deprecating/sarcastic.
 In my talks I'm NEVER that way;rather, I'm much 'softer' and
empathetic.
As it turns out, women relate much more closely to my book than men.
Because it is written in my own voice--a female voice---it makes sense
that female readers relate.  There are specific incidences that women
can relate to.  (ie. the time the back seam on my skirt ripped wide
open and, not knowing it, I proceeded to strut down the hall to the
copier like on any given day---of course, it was the day I wearing hot
pink panties! Luckily my colleague Michelle quickly took me aside and
explained the full view I was offering my cube-mates that
morning...etc. etc.  Well, most women would be able to laugh at that
more easily than guys.  They might have actually (God
forbid)experienced something like that!
The other thing about the book is that my anger at the corporate
'establishment' sometimes is felt by my readers via my sarcasm about
the 'old boys' network.'  Clearly men readers aren't going to empathize
with me as much as my female readers on this topic...... they may feel
as frustrated as I have, about not getting promoted but they won't
readily 'blame' the male-dominated corporate structure for their
troubles.  Of course, men often get ripped off by the corporate powers
that be, too...but they are more likely to react differently than women
when they're angry or frustrated.(That's true in life, too) 
Another important thing is that I wrote the book because I felt that
Dilbert, while fun and MUCH needed, really  reflects the MALE
perspective on the corporate jungle.  The male-engineer perspective in
particular. As much as I love Dilbert, I don't laugh at ALL of the
Dilbert cartoons....some of the cartoons reflect a guy's perspective so
I can't relate to that.
I found it interesting that my 11 year old nephew thinks Dilbert is
hilarious....that also tells me something. Anyway, I thought it would
be fun ---and important--- to add to Scott Adams' theme by writing a
humor book about corporate life from a female managers'
perspective...also from someone who has worked in marketing/sales
rather than engineering, as well. (BTW I've written Scott Adams and
offered to send him a copy of The Twenty Year Itch as a thank you for
paving the way for me....he has yet to respond.)
The entire topic of what men vs. women think is funny, really
fascinates me, though and I still don't have all the answers I'd like
to have on the subject. 
  

    
I still find myself identifying with the woman in Dilbert who's, I think, a
tech writer. Been there, done that very job.

Isn't the Fremont library that lovely, newish building? If so, not a bad
place to work, I'd imagine, though I'd rather have my own system back in
perfect working order, thank you very much.

So there are printers that specialize in doing the whole book packaging deal
for self-publishing authors? Cool. I had no idea.
  

    
Yes, that's the building...it is very comfortable as libraries go.
Luckily, however, I'm back home working comfortably in my flannel
pajamas!
There ARE many book manufacturers out there, Reva,as well as an entire
enclave of folks that cater to self-publishers.  Two other good books
out there for self-publishers are John Kremer's 1001 Ways to Market
Your Books AND Jump Start Your Book Sales by Marilyn and Tom Ross. 
There are also associations of independent publishers that are
thriving, right here in the Bay Area.
Someone once asked me whether I relate to the gal in Dilbert's
cartoon...Alice, I think.  While I think she's great (and it doesn't
hurt that she has curly hair, like me) I don't really relate to her,
like you may, Reva.  That's because I've been in the marketing
department mostly, I guess.  How nice for you, though,and other
technical women professionals to have Alice there to commiserate with!

I'd like to jump back to the topic of corporate life....and some
survival techniques.  The day I realized that Corporate life was all
about CONFORMITY I was a very happy woman!  I see the corporate
organization like a balloon.  Each breath it takes to inflate the
balloon is another employee.  Ultimately all the employees must "fit
together" like the molecules of air that fill up a balloon.  But if you
get someone (or several folks) whose shape/molecule is very unique and
doesn't fit, that could make the whole balloon explode or
deflate....too dangerous!  Corporate organizations (probably
organizations of all kinds) need that delicate balance of talented
individuals who aren't well, "too" unique.   That's where the
discomfort for many of us comes in.  When we try to be creative, 
independent thinking, aggressive, whatever----when we try to be our
true, heart-felt selves, the balloon becomes imbalanced and we are
often, quickly, expelled! We each have so many lovely gifts that we can
offer, but the ORGANIZATION can only accommodate so much.  That's why
many of us who figure out this corporate 'mystery' can hold down 9 to 5
jobs and still have creative energy to pursue other interests.
That is, of course, unless we're busy putting in many hours, in the
hopes of getting a promotion, which does happen.  It likely happens,
however, to folks who LIKE being part of an organization....a group
personality, if you will.  
It's an interesting mix of energy, goals and creativity that I'm
talking about. The more you understand the dynamics of your
organization, the politics, the realities of who makes what decisions,
it is easier to determine where to put your creative energy.