DEGREES (FAHRENHEIT) * 65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night * 60 Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one) * 50 Miami residents turn on the heat * 45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts * 40 You can see your breath * Californians shiver uncontrollably * Minnesotans go swimming * 35 Italian cars don't start * 32 Water freezes * 30 You plan your vacation to Australia * 25 Ohio water freezes * Californians weep pitiably * Minnesotans eat ice cream * Canadians go swimming * 20 Politicians begin to talk about the homeless * New York City water freezes * Miami residents plan vacation further South * 15 French cars don't start * Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you * 10 You need jumper cables to get the car going * 5 American cars don't start * 0 Alaskans put on T-shirts * -10 German cars don't start * Eyes freeze shut when you blink * -15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo * Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects * Miami residents cease to exist * -20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you * Politicians actually do something about the homeless * Minnesotans shovel snow off roof * Japanese cars don't start * -25 Too cold to think * You need jumper cables to get the driver going * -30 You plan a two week hot bath * Swedish cars don't start * -40 Californians disappear * Minnesotans button top button * Canadians put on sweaters * Your car helps you plan your trip South * -50 Congressional hot air freezes * Alaskans close the bathroom window * -80 Hell freezes over * Polar bears move South * Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game * -90 Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets