Three proofs that Jesus was Jewish:
1. he went into his father's business
2. he lived at home until the age of 33
3. he was sure his mother was a virgin,
   and his mother was sure he was God

Three proofs that Jesus was Irish:
1. he never got married
2. he never held a steady job
3. his last request was a drink

Three proofs that Jesus was Puerto Rican:
1. his first name was Jesus
2. he was always in trouble with the law
3. his mother did not know who his father was

Three proofs that Jesus was Italian:
1. he talked with his hand
2. he had wine with every meal
3. he worked in the building trades

Three proofs that Jesus was black:
1. he called everybody brother
2. he had no permanent address
3. nobody would hire him

Three proofs that Jesus was Californian:
1. he never cut his hair
2. he walked around barefoot
3. he invented a new religion