Thought you might enjoy - By the by, you give me far too much credit with the ladies... (ref your last comment "I hope she was as good in the sack (sic)...") Hope things are well - RC --------------------- Forwarded message: From: LWILLIAM@tampa.cushwake.com (Lisa Williams) To: RCroft@aol.com (Receipt Notification Requested), RSTEEN@miami.cushwake.com (Roberta Steen) Date: 96-11-04 16:59:56 EST ======== Original Message ======== "DILBERT'S LAWS OF WORK " If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous." Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried. Following the rules will not get the job done. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" No matter how much you do, you never do enough. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong. From: Pawan Kumar Subject: Mind it! (fwd) To: Junta -- Abhijeet Singh , Sanjay Batra , Salil Chari , Ravi Shrivastava , Atul Bhandari , "S. Karthik" , Vivek Agarwal , Vineet Seth , Ashish Sikka Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1996 22:39:05 -0500 (EST) X-SMTP-Stamp: Received from smtp.bus.emory.edu at Thu, 31 Oct 1996 03:55:57 GMT Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Received: from mcenroe.cs.unc.edu (152.2.128.184) by delphic.bus.emory.edu with SMTP (Apple Internet Mail Server 1.1); Wed, 30 Oct 1996 22:46:21 -0500 Received: from bell.cs.unc.edu by mcenroe.cs.unc.edu (8.6.10/UNC_06_21_94) id WAA22876; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 22:39:09 -0500 Received: from localhost by bell.cs.unc.edu (8.6.10/UNC_06_21_94) id WAA29255; Wed, 30 Oct 1996 22:39:05 -0500 ======== Fwd by: Lisa Williams ======== Thought you'd get a laugh.