english-to-cliassified-ads dictionary. Starts with "women seeking men" and followed by "men seeking women" ... A LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS "WOMEN SEEKING MEN" Classifieds CODE WORD..... MEANS 40-ish 48 Adventurer Has had more partners than you ever will Affectionate Possessive Artist Unreliable Athletic Flat chested Average looking Ugly Beautiful Pathological liar Commitment-minded Pick out curtains, now! Communication important Just try to get a word in edgewise Contagious Smile Bring your penicillin Educated College dropout Emotionally Secure Medicated Employed Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home Enjoys art and opera Snob Enjoys Nature Bring your own granola Exotic Beauty Would frighten a Martian Feminist Fat; ball buster Financially Secure One paycheck from the street Free spirit Substance user Friendship first Trying to live down reputation as slut Fun Annoying Gentle Comatose Good Listener Borderline Autistic Humorous Caustic Intuitive Your opinion doesn't count In Transition Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills Light drinker Lush Looks younger If viewed from far away in bad light Loves Travel If you're paying Loves Animals Cat lady Mature Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed, like last boyfriend did New-Age All body hair, all the time Non-traditional Ex-husband lives in the basement Old-fashioned Lights out, missionary position only Open-minded Desperate Outgoing Loud Passionate Loud Petite Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins Poet Depressive Schizophrenic Professional Bitch Redhead Shops on the Clairol aisle Reliable Frumpy Reubenesque Grossly Fat Romantic Looks better by candle light Self-employed Jobless Smart Insipid Special Rode the short schoolbus Spiritual Involved with a cult Stable Boring Tall, thin Anorexic Tan Wrinkled Voluptuous Very Fat Weight proportional to Hugely Fat height Wants Soulmate One step away from stalking Widow Nagged first husband to death Writer Pompous Young at heart Toothless crone Sooo, where's the male side of that list? Here's a start: A LIST OF ABBREVIATIONS "MEN SEEKING WOMEN" Classifieds CODE WORD... MEANS... 40-ish 52 and looking for 25-yr-old Affectionate Needy and looking for mother-figure Artist Delicate ego badly in need of massage Athletic Sits on the couch and watches ESPN Average looking Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, and back Distinguished-looking Fat, grey, and bald Educated Will always treat you like an idiot Employed On management track at Radio Shack Financially Secure I will spend some money on you, in return for which I will expect you to obey my every whim for the duration of your mortal life. Free Spirit Sleeps with your sister Friendship first As long as friendship involves nudity Fun Good with a remote and a six pack Good looking Arrogant bastard Honest Pathological Liar Huggable Overweight, more body hair than Gentle Ben ISO Slim, attractive female Would be better off with a labrador retriever Light drinker Headed for AA Like to cuddle Insecure, overly dependent Like romantic walks on I read Cosmo and think this is what you the beach want to hear Mature Until you get to know him Open-minded Wants to sleep with your sister but she's not interested Physically fit I spend a lot of time in front of mirrors admiring myself Poet Once wrote on a bathroom stall while constipated Professional Owns a white button down Reliable Shows up on time--give or take 3 hours Self-employed Same as for women and eat nachos all weekend Sensitive Needy Smart Thinks Cheers is "the wittiest show ever on TV" Spiritual Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Stable Occasional stalker, but never arrested Thoughtful Says "Please" when demanding a beer Virile Can read 3 Penthouse Forums without passing out Young at heart Pedophile