THE SPEECH With a dignified tap of his polished mahogany gavel The chairman calls to order the annual meeting of The Association of Distinguished Professors, And introduces the man who will give The keynote address: Doctor So-and-So, Distinguished Professor And author of a number of books, With a Doctor of Dignity degree From some prestige college. Amid polite applause This distinguished professor approaches the lectern, Reaches into a hidden compartment, And brings out a small plastic bottle. Using the wand that came with the bottle, He blows out over the audience A cloud of bubbles. "Speech" concluded, he returns to his seat. The toastmaster feels impelled to summarize: "The point Doctor So-and-So was making Was that no matter how grown-up we appear on the outside, There is still that child inside us all Who must now and then be let out to play." He drones on for a while about repression, and stress, And life expectancies, and percentages of heart attacks, And stuff like that until finally, "While it is often important for us As distinguished professors To project a certain image to the world, It is also important for us As human beings To now and then allow ourselves to play." "That was indeed my point," replies the professor, "And you have summarized it quite well. However, just for the record, I must remind you That what I actually said was:" And blows another cloud of bubbles. written Oct 01 83 0415hr entered Oct 24 83 0015hr Thomas G. Digby