SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.sf.ca.us http://www.well.com/user/bubbles/ Issue #51 New Moon of March 17, 1999 Contents copyright 1999 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. If you don't want to read about the mechanics of this, skip down to the row of asterisks (****). If you're getting it via email and the headers show the originating site as "lists.best.com" you're getting the list version, and anything you send to DigbyZine@lists.best.com will be posted. That's the one you want if you like conversation (although so far traffic has been light). If there's no mention of "lists.best.com" in the headers, you're getting the BCC version. That's the one for those who want just Silicon Soapware with no banter. The content is the same for both. To get on or off the conversation-list version send email to DigbyZine-request@lists.best.com with the word "subscribe" (to get on the list) or "unsubscribe" (to get off) in the body, but nothing else (except maybe your signature if that's automatic). Then when you get a confirmation message edit the REJECT in the subject line to ACCEPT and send it back. To get on or off the BCC list email me (bubbles@well.sf.ca.us or bubbles@well.com). I do that one manually. ********************* It's about time. That is, this issue is late, again mostly because of work, but it's also about time in that we've just had the Equinox and we're coming up on Daylight Saving in a couple of weeks, and I just sort of happen to have a bunch of time-related items handy. ********************* Daylight Saving time will be upon us soon. That reminds me of the idea of slicing the Earth in half along the Equator, inserting a giant Lazy Susan bearing, and rotating whichever hemisphere is going into Summer westward relative to the Winter one, back and forth every year. No more fumbling around resetting clocks. As your hemisphere moves westward for Summer, sunset will come later because of the change in longitude, while the time of sunrise will stay roughly constant, at least in middle latitudes. So we can get the benefits of Daylight Saving (more evening light) without the hassles of upsetting everybody's schedule. Will there be side effects? Since we can spread the adjustment out over a couple of months each Spring and Fall most people won't notice any movement, although it might affect ocean tides and such. There might also be an effect on weather patterns, and on circadian rhythms of some animals. But we can have a detailed Environmental Impact Report done up later, after the idea has gotten enough acceptance for funding to start coming in. Speaking of funding, we'll need to budget a fair amount of money for engineering. Slicing the Earth in half requires a LOT of digging, and it has to be done quietly so as not to disturb people with construction noise, vibration, etc. And whatever the bearing is made of, it will most likely be lubricated by molten magma from the mantle, perhaps with some seawater mixed in. And don't forget the machinery to do the moving. These are not standard off-the-shelf items. Then there are the political questions, especially in countries like Brazil that sit astride the Equator. And don't forget religions that may be impacted when the direction to holy places like Mecca keeps changing. The idea has a long way to go. We'll probably need a committee just to figure out what kind of study committees we need to do the actual figuring out of whatever needs to be figured out. So we'll probably have to handle this year's switch to Daylight Saving the old-fashioned way. ********************* Unbeknownst to them, the State Lottery officials had built their new Betting Office right next door to a hidden field office of the Time Patrol. TP policy forbade taking advantage of that situation, but some officers found the temptation irresistible. ********************* Two magic-users are talking. One is showing off a new drum. "It's a Memory Drum. You play it in the Sacred Circle and it helps you remember things you'd forgotten." "Sounds useful. How does it work?" "You know how rhythmic drumming sets up psychic standing waves all up and down the time-stream. Well, I just took a standard prognostication spell and reversed a couple of the terms so the main nodes are in the past rather than the future. I also set it to look within one's own mind rather than out into the world. So it opens the way to lost memories." "But why do you need a special drum for that?" "You don't really. You can drum the memory spell on just about any drum you happen to have handy. But my Memory Drum is specially consecrated for memory work, so the magic is stronger and you have a better chance of success." "Where did you get the idea?" "Couple of things. I'd forgotten something and I'd been trying to remember what I'd forgotten, and one of my techno-using friends happened to mention that computers used to use Memory Drums. So I took it from there." "So this is an adaptation of computer technology?" "Not really. I couldn't understand his description of the computer Memory Drum, so I had to pretty much work my version out from scratch. So everything except the initial inspiration is mine." "I've heard of Memory Drums in computers, but they're there to help the computer remember. Probably won't work for people at all." "That would explain why his descriptions didn't make sense to me. But even so, I think I got something pretty useful out of all this." And they might go on about how computers seem to have switched from drums to cymbals or gongs or something disk-shaped that the magic-users don't understand at all, with another person saying something about a rotating serving platter full of little bits of lodestone. Each bit can only answer one Yes-No question, but they have thousands of thousands of thousands of them to work with. And even though it would seem impossible to pile that many bits of lodestone onto a banquet platter and then find anything useful in the pile, it evidently works for computers. More evidence of the great gulf between computers and people. And the person with the drum then acknowledges that his tech-user friend did teach him a lot about standing waves and resonances and such. That has helped a great deal in making spells in general, not just the Memory Drum spell. There's also mention of how some tech-users are starting to learn magic, just as some magic-users are starting to learn tech stuff. Prophecies are that those who truly master both will be more powerful than anything the world has yet seen. ********************* And along with all the time-related stuff this issue I'm reminded that because of continental drift a day in the Americas is maybe a third of a microsecond longer than a day in Europe. The Atlantic is getting wider at the rate of maybe a tenth of a millimeter per day, or a little over an inch a year. The speed of Earth's rotation at middle latitudes is roughly the speed of sound, or around 300 meters per second. That's 0.3 millimeters per microsecond. So if you have sundials on both sides of the Atlantic, the American one will drift out of calibration relative to the European one at the rate of a few hundred nanoseconds per day. If we still went by local solar time the difference would amount to a second every eight or ten thousand years or so. We might adjust by throwing in an extra leap second relative to the Europeans. But with our modern system of hourly time zones, we'll probably keep the same leap seconds everybody else uses and just adjust the time zone boundaries to stay more or less in the same place relative to Greenwich as the land moves under them. ********************* TIME GUM If you've always wanted to roam the corridors of time, To meet Shakespeare, Attend the original Olympics, Or bumble around with dinosaurs, And you're the kind of person who prefers hiking to driving, Then I recommend Time Gum. Some flavors let you chew your way straight into the past That you've always read about in history books While others take you crookedly into other pasts Of dragons And wizards And fairy-tale princesses And still other flavors give you the future. I could say more about futures, But some people feel it's like telling the ending To a movie you haven't seen yet, Or opening your Christmas presents early And having nothing to do on Christmas morning But sit around wishing you'd waited, So I won't. In some ways Time Gum is very mysterious. Like, nobody knows when or if It was, or will be, or would have been invented. But most futures are full of warehouses full of it So nobody really worries about it. Some people wonder if it's safe. The main danger is cheap imitations That aren't really Time Gum at all But just regular gum with drugs in it To make you think you're on a time trip When you really aren't. It seems, however, That dealers in such bogus wares Often suddenly find That their grandparents had no children, And their parents didn't either, And neither will they, probably, So it's never really been a problem. Still, it's safer to buy from someone you trust. Just ask your friends to recommend someone. Chances are they can, Since Time Gum is not as rare As you might think. F'rinstance, If you've ever endured banquet speeches That seemed to drone on and on forever, Or been enjoying a concert When it ended all too soon, Chances are that some of the lumps Stuck to the underside of your seat Are, or were, or will be, or might have been, Time Gum. Thomas G. Digby written 2340 hr Oct 26 83 entered 0415 hr Nov 22 83 -- END --