SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.com http://www.well.com/~bubbles/ Issue #143 New Moon of August 23, 2006 Contents copyright 2006 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. Details of how to sign up are at the end. ********************* If this issue is out a couple of days early it's because I'll be going to the World Science Fiction Convention (Worldcon) around the time it would theoretically be due. I want to get it out of the way before I leave home so it won't be hanging over my head while I'm packing and worrying about rides and such. Doing Silicon Soapware early seemed easier than trying to get either Worldcon or the Moon to reschedule. ********************* Sort of related to science fiction conventions, something reminded me of a 1950's children's TV series titled "Winky Dink and You". Its claim to fame is that it could be said to have been an early attempt at interactive TV. The interaction consisted of viewers drawing on the TV screen (protected by a sheet of plastic) with crayons as directed by characters on the show, after which the drawings would figure in the plot. I was a teenager in the 1950's. That made me older than the show's target audience, but then I suspect that many of us in science fiction fandom and similar groups watched cartoons and read fairy tales and comic books and such long after we were supposedly "too old". Now I'm wondering if an Inner Child who refuses to die when the rest of the person grows up may be part of the common thread uniting such overlapping groups as Science Fiction Fandom, RenFaire, and Burning Man. It feels like a definite possibility. ********************* In recent years a number of objects that are sort of borderline candidates for being considered planets have been discovered in the outer reaches of the solar system. At the same time observations of the planet Pluto have shown it to be less like the other known planets than was previously thought. This has had astronomers rethinking the definition of a "planet". A news story I read on this spoke of the possibility of Pluto being "demoted" from its present status of being more or less equal to the other known planets. That brought up thoughts of that ceremony you see in the movies of drumming someone out of the military, where they rip the insignia off his uniform and break his sword and so on. I don't think astronomers are planning anything of that sort, but you never know. According to a more recent story, the current plan is to create a new category for Pluto and some of those other objects. In a way this may be more like a transfer than a demotion, so we probably won't get to see a planetary drumming-out ceremony. But I still sort of wonder what such a ritual would consist of. Some kind of vote of astronomers is coming up. Will that settle the matter? Regardless of the outcome of the vote, I wouldn't be surprised if the debate continues. For more see: International Astronomical Union: http://www.iau.org Minor Planet Center: http://cfa-www.harvard.edu/iau/mpc.html ********************* During the last round of fighting in Lebanon there was a picture in the paper of Israeli girls writing messages, presumably directed at the enemy, on munitions. The story didn't give translations. I'm wondering if the messages were taunts and curses and "Die, enemy scum!" or if they were more like "We're sorry to have to hurt you, but war is not nice." I'm hoping they're more like the latter, although the pessimist in me suspects they're more like the former. Despite what the pessimist in me suspects, the optimist in me can still hope. ********************* Someone at a lunch get-together was describing a medical procedure, and said something like "They drill two holes in the skull here," pointing to the general area of the hairline. My immediate response was "Could you use the holes to mount horns afterward?" He didn't think the medical people would be too keen on that, although you never really know. Despite that impulsive question, I don't think I would really want to put in horns. I'd be thinking of something more like antlers. I think I'd like the way they'd look on me. But as an engineer I can see all sorts of practical problems. First is the matter of height. Antlers of the size I'm thinking of would add about a foot to my height. I'm about 5' 10" (178 cm) now, so the antlers would top out between about 6' 8" and seven feet (203 to 213 cm). That would be tall enough to cause problems with many doorways, as well as some low-hanging light fixtures and ceiling fans and such. Still, there are people who are that tall naturally, and they seem to cope. Seated height would be another matter. Most tall people have their legs in proportion to their torso, while the antlers would add their foot or so entirely above the waist. My current car is a Geo Metro. Something would have to give. I suppose I could learn to ride a bicycle or motorcycle. But what of the helmet? Even if I could find a helmet to fit around the base of the antlers, the antlers themselves would still be vulnerable, and could provide leverage to increase the chances of neck injuries if I were to fall and land on them. A breakaway mounting might be feasible, but I wouldn't want to be constantly worrying about my antlers falling off with any little bump or nudge. Height wouldn't be my only concern. There's also the matter of width. The antlers would be several inches broader than my shoulders, so I'd have to be careful near walls and high shelves and such, as well as watching out for any other antlered people in the vicinity. And I wouldn't be able to wear pullover-type shirts any more. Sleep would also be affected. I could probably still sleep on my back, but sleeping on my side would be pretty much out of the question. Face-down might still be possible, but would take careful arranging of the pillows so I could breathe. Tossing and turning would become a major production. Sleeping with a lover would also require care, even if the other person didn't have antlers or horns or angel wings or anything else special. Out of bed I could still hug and kiss people pretty much normally, unless of course they had antlers as well. Then we'd have to be careful about getting them tangled. Don't forget the basic engineering details. The human head and neck are not designed to support antlers. The added weight and mass could be a problem in themselves, even when the antlers weren't hitting things or getting caught in stuff. The mass distribution of antlers is such as to add a large moment of inertia, so turning my head quickly would be difficult. And would the skull be think enough to take the concentrated stress at the mounting points? Modern materials like carbon fiber might have the strength-to-weight ratio to get around some of these problems, but it would still take a fair amount of engineering effort to make sure it would all work. There's one more potential downside to antlers. I think it's minor, but I need to include it in the list. People on the street would look at me funny. All in all, I don't think I'll be having antlers installed any time soon. ********************* I dreamed I was working for a bunch of counterfeiters, and we were designing a twelve-dollar bill. We had high hopes for it, because the government had never printed bills in that denomination. Thus there would be nothing to compare ours against to prove it was fake. We would have the whole field to ourselves. I woke up before we actually put the concept to the test. ********************* Recently some of us watched a DVD of the movie "Practical Magic". It was about Witches. One thing I noticed that was different from Witchcraft in our real world was the special effects. There were lots of little things like coffee stirring itself, and flower petals wafting up into the night sky as part of casting a spell, and people being able to light candles with their breath. You don't see those in our world. That's not to say that magic spells don't work in our world, but if and when they do work they work pretty much invisibly. You may, for example, cast a love spell and then meet someone you end up in a relationship with, but there's no way to prove to a skeptic that the spell had anything to do with the outcome. Any apparent results can always be explained away by someone who "knows" that there's nothing to magic. That of course limits the kinds of spells Witches can do. The things in movies that end up as big special-effects orgies are right out. But that still leaves a lot that can be done. Another thought: What if Witches weren't the only ones with such powers? What if people of all faiths could do it? Say a Witch lights her candle by doing a magical gesture or something, and then a Christian gets hers to light by praying that it be lit. And so on for people of other faiths, and for the other special-effects stuff like stirring coffee without touching the spoon. What would life in such a community be like, assuming everybody had enough of a "live and let live" attitude that it didn't generate into religious warfare? And how would religious doctrines there differ from those in our world? ********************* Why can't they write anti-spam software that's smart enough to put the false positives in a separate folder? ********************* A friend is boycotting that new "Snakes On a Plane" movie because she feels it defames snakes. But other reports I've read indicate that people may not be taking it that seriously. There have been reports of people showing up at theaters in snake costumes. At least one person brought a live snake to a screening, and other audience members hissed and threw plastic snakes at the screen. Is "Snakes On a Plane" on its way to becoming another "Rocky Horror"? Whether or not it becomes a cult classic, it reminded me of this: LOVE POEM TO MEDUSA Snakes!?!? Why have I fallen for snakes? Why not shoes Or even ships or sealing wax To fan my flames Toward Pirate Jenny Or Cleopatra on the Nile Or the queen of some fairy-tale country Whose scribes would letter our love In gold on royal scrolls? Why does it have to be snakes? True, I could do worse: Beyond the ritual singles-bar blather You have thousands of years Of tales to tell And your snakes Do give you character. But I am frozen with fear As I face the thought Of standing in the park Insulted by pigeons forever. Thomas G. Digby Entered 1120 hr 3/10/84 Edited 2320 hr 3/05/86 ********************* HOW TO GET SILICON SOAPWARE EMAILED TO YOU If you're getting it via email and the Reply-to in the headers is ss_talk@bubbles.best.vwh.net you're getting the list version, and anything you send to that address will be posted. That's the one you want if you like conversation. There's usually a burst of activity after each issue, often dying down to almost nothing in between. Any post can spark a new flurry at any time. If there's no mention of "bubbles.best.vwh.net" in the headers, you're getting the BCC version. That's the one for those who want just Silicon Soapware with no banter. The zine content is the same for both. To get on the conversation-list version point your browser to http://bubbles.best.vwh.net/cgi-bin/mojo/mojo.cgi and select the ss_talk list. Enter your email address in the space provided and hit Signup. When you receive an email confirmation request go to the URL it will give you. (If you're already on the list and want to get off there will be an Unsubscribe URL at the bottom of each list posting you receive.) To get on or off the BCC list email me (bubbles@well.com or bubbles@well.sf.ca.us). I currently do that one manually. -- END --