SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.com http://www.well.com/~bubbles/ Issue #162 New Moon of March 7, 2008 Contents copyright 2008 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. Details of how to sign up are at the end. ********************* As I write the first draft of this section, we in California are having a spell of sunny spring-like weather. The actual official start of spring is a couple of weeks away, 10:48 pm on March 19 to be exact. And then I wouldn't be surprised if we had a couple of relapses into more winter-like weather during Spring. For most Christians, Easter is also just a couple of weeks away, on March 23. This is not the earliest possible date, but is unusually early. According to Wikipedia it won't be this early again until the year 2160, assuming they don't change the formula. Apparently there has been talk of simplifying it, but so far nothing much has come of it. You can find lots more interesting stuff about Easter on Wikipedia. Or is that starting to just sort of go without saying? Nowadays you can find out lots of interesting stuff about almost anything on Wikipedia. One thing you won't find on Wikipedia, at least not yet, is my personal thoughts and feelings. Maybe there will come a time when every one of the more than six billion people on the planet will be the subject of their own Wikipedia article, but we're still a long way from that. But that's enough on Wikipedia for the moment. Let's get back to Easter. For me Easter wasn't that big a deal. I do have some childhood memories of Easter egg hunts, and of dyeing eggs, and I also seem to recall getting an Easter basket once, but that's pretty much It. Easter just wasn't the same kind of big deal that Christmas, or even Thanksgiving, was. Yes, we went to church on Easter, but we went to church almost every Sunday anyway so it wasn't all that different. We may also have gotten that Friday and/or Monday off from school, but if we did it didn't make that much of an impression on me. It certainly wasn't the kind of Spring Break that college students have since made infamous. This may have been for any of a number of reasons. No one specific thing stands out. It just wasn't that big a deal, and I never really thought much about why. I do recall that in later years one employer gave us the three hours from noon to three on Good Friday off as holiday time. But again, that didn't count as that big a deal, especially since we had to come back in at three and work that last hour or two until regular quitting time. It hardly seemed worth going home for, although some years I managed to go watch a movie or something during that time. So what Easter memories do you have? ********************* We're also just a few weeks away from April Fool's Day. I'm reminded of a thought I had when someone mentioned a Loch Ness Monster report at about the same time someone else was saying something about DNA technology. What if someone were to use modified DNA to engineer a creature that would grow up to fit the descriptions of the Loch Ness Monster? Set it loose in Loch Ness, then sit back and wait for the fun to start. Notice that the hoaxers themselves need not make any reports of sightings, and thus can't be held up to public ridicule by unbelievers. Random other people will be taking that heat for them. Are there laws against setting genetically engineered monsters loose in Loch Ness? Even if the "monster" is caught and analyzed, they'll still have a hard time blaming it on anyone in particular. "We didn't do it. It must have been somebody at some other genetic engineering lab." The technology isn't there yet, but give it a few more years. Eventually there will be monsters in Loch Ness even if there aren't any there now. ********************* Have you ever had times when you just couldn't think of anything to write about? What do you do when that happens? Sometimes I just sit here and let my thoughts sort of drift. You never know what may happen when you let your thoughts drift. Perhaps they could wash up on some distant shore, along with sea shells and driftwood and flotsam and jetsam. Then what? It probably depends on who (or what) finds them. Perhaps there is a fantasy realm somewhere where drifting thoughts that wash ashore are gathered up by beachcombers (not all of whom are human) and made into jewelry and sculptures and such, much as is sometimes done with sea shells and driftwood along the shores of our world. Would the fruits of such craftsmanship eventually make it back to our world? It seems kind of doubtful, because such things would not be mere physical objects. Even if some traveler were to bring some back, the magical qualities that made them special would likely vanish at the threshold of the worlds. Some physical remains might make it through, but they would seem unremarkable and hardly worth the trouble of carrying along on such a journey. The wizards and wanderers of such realms know the futility of trying to bring such wonders into this world, although every now and then someone, usually a new student of wizardry and wandering, tries and is almost always bitterly disappointed. ********************* When I went to see a movie a couple of weeks ago I got to thinking of the ads they play between showings. Those ads used to be slides, with unrelated music in the background. Each slide was a separate ad, often for local restaurants and retailers and such. The slides probably weren't much more expensive or technically difficult to make than a newspaper ad, so almost any neighborhood business could afford one. And they weren't intrusive. I would arrive a few minutes early, find a seat, and start eating the hot dog or whatever I'd bought at the concession stand, with some small part of my attention on the ads. That was my way of relaxing and letting the cares of the world drain away before the movie started. Then they switched to video ads. Not only are they more intrusive and harder to ignore, but I would guess they take a lot more time and money to make than the old slides. The result? No more ads for local businesses. Now they're all for nationally advertised brands, big fast-food chains, TV series, and the like. The old neighborhood feel is gone. Yes, some of the video ads are interesting to watch, but I still think I prefer the slides. ********************* Something got me thinking of stereotypes that have changed over time. One that comes to mind is of women as incompetent drivers. Back around 1950 or so (possibly earlier) "woman drivers" was a fairly common category of joke. And if you saw a car make a bonehead move on the road but didn't get a good look at the driver, a common assumption was that it was a woman. Now that stereotype seems to have faded. I don't think I've heard the phrase "woman driver" used in that way for years. Nor have I heard any woman driver jokes. You still hear jokes about incompetent drivers, but they don't relay on the gender stereotype. Now they're more likely to be blonde jokes, although that category of humor has also faded in recent years. Many of the jokes about bad driving include a police officer talking to the driver. That reminds me of another stereotype you don't see much nowadays: The Irish cop. It used to be that when you saw a policeman in any sort of humorous context, the officer's name would start with an O followed by an apostrophe. Now the Irish cop stereotype has faded, along with the Chinese laundry. Yes, there are still lots of laundry and dry-cleaning places operated by Asians, but it doesn't seem to be as strong a default assumption as it once was. Speaking of relationships between the police and small neighborhood businesses, the cartoon cliche of cops helping themselves to apples from a street vendor's cart without paying for them has given way to a cliche of cops getting fat on donuts. Or maybe they don't necessarily get fat, but they spend inordinate amounts of time hanging out in donut shops. What other stereotypes have you noticed changing? ********************* If this issue seems rushed it is because I'm about to head off somewhere for the weekend. If I don't get the issue done within the next twelve or so hours it'll have to wait until Monday. The event I'm going to can be described as a science fiction and fantasy music festival. No, it isn't about big-name celebrities or fancy TV or movie themes. It's more like a folk-based community. For details, see http://www.consonance.org/ ********************* Speaking of time .... Under Arrest When I asked the Fairies Fluttering outside my window About something precious I couldn't find Their reply was swift: Father Time had stolen it, Just as he had been stealing Similar things from others Down through the ages. So are they going to arrest him for theft? Someone did seem to recall That they had a police uniform kicking around somewhere, Complete with badge and gun and billy club And everything. But the last time anyone tried wearing it They had trouble getting the shirt on over their wings. Besides, those Fairy-sized handcuffs Would never fit Father Time's wrists. Couldn't they outsource the task? Maybe, but are you really really sure You really want to arrest Father Time? Yes, the thought of waking up to your clock radio Telling you that Father Time had been arrested So you can roll over and go back to sleep Without worrying about being late To work or school or whatever Does sound rather appealing. But what if it had happened a bit later, With the news coming through your car radio As you crept through the thick of morning traffic: "Abandon all hope of rush hour ever ending"? Or maybe it would have come in the evening As you lingered over dessert in a fine restaurant With a loved one, Savoring the mix of physical and emotional sweetness But beginning to be impatient For the kind of love that would come later In more private intimate surroundings. True, you wouldn't have to worry about Tomorrow's dental appointment But be thankful it didn't catch you Already in the chair. And don't expect a speedy trial: With Father Time under arrest, No cases would ever come to court. So we should be glad the Fairies Have no plans to arrest Father Time Even if they do find that police uniform. -- Tom Digby First Draft 12:32 Mon February 25 2008 Revised 00:50 Tue March 4 2008 Revised 00:35 Thu March 6 2008 ********************* HOW TO GET SILICON SOAPWARE EMAILED TO YOU There are two email lists, one that allows reader comments and one that does not. 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