SILICON SOAPWARE wafting your way along the slipstreams of the Info Highway from Bubbles = Tom Digby = bubbles@well.com http://www.well.com/~bubbles/ Issue #163 New Moon of April 5, 2008 Contents copyright 2008 by Thomas G. Digby, with a liberal definition of "fair use". In other words, feel free to quote excerpts elsewhere (with proper attribution), post the entire zine (verbatim, including this notice) on other boards that don't charge specifically for reading the zine, link my Web page, and so on, but if something from here forms a substantial part of something you make money from, it's only fair that I get a cut of the profits. Silicon Soapware is available via email with or without reader feedback. Details of how to sign up are at the end. ********************* As I sit here pondering what to write about I feel a distinct lack of inspiration. Is that because as I'm first-drafting this paragraph today is April 4, "Not Found" Day? As many of you know, the error code for when a Web page can't be found is 404. So it seems appropriate to April 4, which is "4/04" in both month-first and day-first formats. Of course that date will have passed by the time you read this, but that just means you'll have all year to think of something appropriate to not find next April 4. I'm also reminded of this: Clock glows 4:04 As I wake in the darkness Thinking "Dream Not Found" So what have you not found lately? ********************* Speaking of finding things, I was browsing Wikipedia and came upon an article about a Secret Court they had at Harvard back in the 1920's: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Court_of_1920 It dealt mainly with homosexuality, which was a big no-no back then. At least one person was expelled from the university because he associated with known homosexuals, even if he wasn't one himself. Apparently the standard for conviction was not "beyond a reasonable doubt" or even "preponderance of evidence", but something closer to "probable cause" or "failure to prove innocence". We went through a similar thing about Communists back in the 1950's: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McCarthyism http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Led_Three_Lives And don't forget the various witch hunts down through history: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witch_hunt Now we may be doing it again, this time with "terrorists". Is there something in the human psyche that predisposes people to this kind of thinking? Perhaps in evolutionary terms wrongly punishing a few innocent people is not as bad for the tribe as failing to catch those whose actions are really endangering the group. Since evolution is based on the probability of passing on genes, any specific individual is expendable if sacrificing them helps others with that same gene pass theirs on. So in the context of evolution that kind of witch hunt makes sense. ********************* On a lighter note, I also found this. I was going to include it in the section about the secret court, but as I started polishing that text this no longer seemed to fit the mood. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lather%2C_rinse%2C_repeat ********************* Speaking of conventions, which I wasn't, the last couple of hotels I've stayed at had those little signs to the effect that if you were staying more than one night and wanted to reuse a towel rather than have the hotel waste water and soap and energy washing it every day, you should put it on the rack. If you were done with it, drop it on the floor. Problem: There were no such racks in evidence. There was one rack full of clean towels, but that was it. Do they want people to put their used towels there? That leads to the possibility of the next guest getting your dirty towel by mistake. Also, if there are several people in the room, each person should have a separate place to store their towels so they can keep track of whose is which. I've noticed this lack of towel racks in other hotels as well. After staying at one such place I sent them a comment about it. I got a canned reply that would have been appropriate had I been reporting a maintenance problem rather than a design issue. So not only was the room not set up for what the hotel management said they would like guests to do, but they weren't really paying close attention to comments either. ********************* Do dyslexic football players ever get incarcerated because they mix up the words "goal" and "gaol"? ********************* I've been seeing newspaper ads for some movie about football back in the 1920's or thereabouts. The tag line says something about there being no rules. That got me to wondering if they really had literally no rules. If that was the case, how did they know that what they were doing was really football and not harness racing or skeet shooting or square dancing or sudoku or whatever? If one team's players were to stay home and later claim to have won by astral projection, what basis would the other team have for claiming otherwise? It seems fairly clear to me that in order to play in any meaningful way they would need at least some basic definitions of what the game is. And to me that set of definitions counts as "rules of the game". But then I'm not a sports expert, so I could be wrong. ********************* The thought of a game with no rules reminds me of Calvinball, even if Calvinball does have at least one rule. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calvin_and_Hobbes#Calvinball And it also reminds me that "Calvin and Hobbes" is another thing that has long been on my "Not Found" list. ********************* Suppose someone finds two people who not only don't know one another directly, but are seven links apart in terms of mutual acquaintances. Since that violates the legendary "six apart" thing, some TV producer decides to make a show of introducing them to each other on live TV. Of course they don't really need to introduce them to each other directly. Introducing any two non-adjacent members of that chain of seven would reduce its length to six or fewer. But that wouldn't be as dramatic, unless there was something special about those particular members of the chain. Using intermediaries might be a good workaround if the people at the ends of the chain don't speak the same language. Also, what if, in the process of preparing for the show, some members of the TV show crew get to know one member of the supposedly seven-apart pair, while other crew members get to know the other member? If those crew members know each other then wouldn't that blow the whole concept? Back to the drawing board. ********************* Something reminded me that when I was a child I thought vacant lots didn't belong to anybody the way lots with buildings on them did. Since kids were pretty much free to play on any vacant lot in the neighborhood, I thought someone who wanted to build a house was similarly free to just find a vacant lot and start building on it. Of course this may not be as silly as it sounds. I recall some events involving camping where the group would reserve a campground and then individual members would choose specific spots on a first-come-first-served basis. And didn't some frontier settlements work that way, sort of? ********************* I was reading about how sharks are constantly shedding teeth as they grow new ones. That led me to wonder if the Tooth Fairy visits sharks. Probably not, since sharks don't sleep on pillows and thus have nothing to put lost teeth under. They also don't, as far as I know, use money. That may be a good thing, because otherwise the Tooth Fairy would go bankrupt. That could lead to a three-way class-action lawsuit between sharks, dentists, and children. It could be quite messy, taking years to wend its way through the various courts, until the Supreme Court finally settles the matter. And think how terrible it would be if a shark were to eat the Tooth Fairy. Who would take over the job? Santa Claus? The Easter Bunny? The Great Pumpkin? Or maybe some small-town dental assistant who doesn't even know that he's in line for the position until the media people start showing up at his door? If you or any of your relatives have ever worked in any field connected with dentistry, how do you know you're not next in line to be the Tooth Fairy? ********************* I recently found myself at the halfway point on some small project. So I got to thinking about halftime. Should I take a break with marching bands and such, like they do for halftime at football games? Or would the music and the tromp, tromp, tromp of marching feet disturb the people in the neighboring apartments, especially the one right below mine? Or would the problem be self-limiting because this apartment is too small for more than a handful of marching-band members to march around in? The more band members you try to stuff in, the less room there is for them to march around. You could possibly just have them mark time by marching in place, but there's still the matter of room to maneuver their instruments, at least if you want them to play anything. This is especially true for bass drums and sousaphones and slide trombones, although it sort of applies to all instruments except possibly cell phone ring tones. Making more room for the band might be an incentive to get rid of some of my clutter. Then I could consider taking out some of the interior walls, although the landlord might not like that, and besides the walls may be load-bearing. On the other hand, that may be one of the advantages to living in a building full of small apartments. None of the neighbors will be able to have marching bands marching around in their apartments to annoy me. It's a double-edged sword, or sauce for the goose and the gander, or whatever other cliche saying seems appropriate. And I almost forgot. Wasn't this whole thing originally to celebrate the halfway point in some project I was supposed to be working on? Whatever happened to that, whatever it was? ********************* X: "That's a cursed word." Y: "Really? My parents used to use it, and they weren't much for cursing." X: "I didn't say it was a curse word. I said it was cursed." Y: "Huh?" X: "Someone put a curse on that word. Something to the effect that it will always get spelled wrong, or dictionaries will always get its definition wrong, or something like that." Y: "Why would someone want to curse a word?" X: "I have no idea." ********************* The Village Dragon If the dragon has a name, it's not one that fits human ears Or human tongues. The people of the nearby village know him as "Our Dragon" And they will gladly tell you How most of the tales told about him are wrong. Yes, he can breathe out fire, And he used to ravage the countryside for miles around. But that was centuries ago, Before he and the people of the village made peace. Now he helps light the village's holiday bonfires. And yes, he does keep a pile of gold and jewels in his cave. But he isn't obsessive about it And he is generous to any villagers in need of aid. Those maidens he supposedly devours? He finds them more useful as servants and messengers and companions, And pays them decent wages. Now and then a knight in shining armor will appear, Asking villagers for directions to the dragon's cave. Most depart in peace Once people assure them That this dragon does not need to be slain. Only the occasional hothead with more bravery than brains Ends up on the dinner menu. Knights are not his favorite food. He prefers the animals of the forest, Especially the wolves that now and then make their way to the meadow Where the shepherds keep their sheep. He also finds bandits and highwaymen to be rather tasty, Especially when weighted down with ill-gotten gold. But the adventurers he most enjoys Are the wandering bards and troubadours. No, he doesn't eat them. He listens to their songs and stories And gives them shelter in his cave, Safe from the elements and the perils of the night. He often sends his maidens To invite the people of the village To join the merriment. The cave rings with song and laughter, sometimes until dawn. Then all go their separate ways, bearing fond memories. Those memories are the dragon's real treasure, Far more precious than silver or gold. -- Tom Digby First Draft 18:21 Fri April 4 2008 Edited 22:11 Sun April 6 2008 ********************* HOW TO GET SILICON SOAPWARE EMAILED TO YOU There are two email lists, one that allows reader comments and one that does not. Both are linked from http://www.plergb.com/Mail_Lists/Silicon_Soapware_Zine-Pages.html If you are already receiving Silicon Soapware and want to unsubscribe or otherwise change settings, the relevant URL should be in the footer appended to the end of this section in the copy you received. Or you can use the above URL to navigate to the appropriate subscription form, which will also allow you to cancel your subscription or change your settings. -- END --