The New Improved WELL Prayer


 Oh, Lord God Who is All-Male, All-Knowing, All-Giving and

 Bless now this WELL, that it may be a beakon unto the darkness.  Bless it,
 we say, dear FatherNotMother God, and maketh it to lie down in green
 pastures with lambs and sheep and wooly creatures.  We pray thee, oh
 RealGodsAreRealMen, that thou would shed thy mercy and show thy handiwork
 upon the Well, that it would be whole and healed and made all WEIRD.  With
 every head bowed and every eye closed so that we can't see what the hell is
 going on, we ask these things in MaleDeadGod'sName, Amen.
 The Well is my shepherd, I shall not have a life.

 It maketh me to logon in no clothing;
 It leadeth me beside flame wars.
 It restoreth my timesink;
 It leadeth me in the discussion of the unanswerable for its billing.
 Yea, though I packet-switch through the bandwidth of Netcom,
 I shall fear no disconnect;
 For the Well is with me;
 It's OK prompt and it's help menu, they comfort me.
 It preparest a controversy for me in the presence of journalists;
 It annointest my words with YOYOW;
 My cup runneth over in a black bra.
 Surely gail and mo will wish I had never logged on all the days of   
 their life:
 And I will Muse in the csh of the WELL forever.

© March 1994 by Elizabeth Lipson

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