LAWS FOR ENGINEERS
- GRUNDMAN'S LAW - Under the most carefully controlled conditions of pressure, temperature,
humidity and other variables, the system will perform as It damn well pleases.
- KNIGHT'S LAW -- A pat on the back Is only a few centimeters from a kick In the pants.
- HlDLEY'S LAW -- Nothing Is Impossible for a man who doesn't have to do the work.
- DUNCAN'S LAW -- When In doubt, mumble.
- EVAN'S LAW -- Every man has a scheme that will not work.
- HULKO'S LAW -- A theory Is better than Its explanation.
- STORYK'S LAW -- The amount of work done varies Inversely with the amount of time spent In the office
- WORAM'S LAW -- Any sufficiently advanced technology Is Indistinguishable from magic.
- NORDAHL'S LAW -- Everything goes wrong at once.
- EMERMAN'S LAW -- In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative courses of action,
people tend to choose the worst possible course.
- TARSIA'S LAW -- The obvious answer Is always overlooked.
- SNODDY'S LAW -- It works better If you plug It In.
- HARRISON'S LAW -- There Is always an easy answer to every problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.
- MEADOW'S LAW -- It won't work.
- WESTLAKE'S LAW -- The first 90 percent of the project takes 10 percent of the time, and the last 10
percent takes the other 90 percent.
- HARNED'S LAW -- Once you open a can of worms, the only way to re-can them Is to use a larger can.
- SCHNEE'S LAW -- Anything that begins well will end badly. [Note: The converse of this law Is not true.]
- STONE'S LAW -- Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
- GOLDEN'S LAW -- A man with one watch knows what time It Is. A man with two watches Is never sure.
- PERRY'S LAW - If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
- GARAY'S LAW -- An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
- KELSEY'S LAW - Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish yourself as an expert.
- LIGHTNER'S LAW -- If It happens, lt must be possible.
- STEELE'S LAW -- Social Innovations tend to the level of minimum well being.
- GUY'S LAW -- The probability of a given event occurring Is Inversely proportional to Its desirability.
- MOYSSlADIS' LAW -- As soon as you mention something, If It's good, It goes away; If It's bad, It
- CAPPS' LAW -- If It can find a way to wear out faster, It will.
- LlPPELL'S LAW -- if a research project Is not worth doing, It is not worth doing well.
Please note: The laws found here were collected over time from many varied sources. I make no claim to authoring or ownership of these, nor did I intentionally post them to deprive someone else of credit if they are indeed the author. You can have the rights, I don't want (or need) them. I just thought these were funny, and a little close to the bone. Besides, if you wanted to sue me over publishing these, you wouldn't be very funny, therefore disproving your claim to be the author.
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