Ian (Oh - Carol)

Oh Ian, you are such a fool, Going out with Pauline, though she treats you cruel,
She farts, and she cannot cook, And while you do the housework, she will read a book.

Ian she just treats you like her mother, Except when you're in bed.
Then she just ignores you, or pukes on you instead.

Ian you could always find another, Who wouldn't treat you wrong.
If you're to sober for his mother, We could always give you Bong!