Writers Note A lot of people in the McBastard Clan know that I am one of the McB's but don't know who I am. You'll be glad to know am not going to bother telling you my life story as it even bores the shit out of me. My real name is Ian Rowan, I am one of the few Killie fans and I have several McB names. These are: Repus Nam, Smart McBastard, Mini Ugly George Anybody daft enough to want to know the story behind my names can ask Suzy 'cause A don't really know myself. (As far as I'm aware, very few people ever understand the story behind their own names.)
Welcome to the first edition (of very few I hope) of McBastards Song Books. In the highly likely event of the sky ever being incontinent at a later Cropredy, the emergency exits are positioned beside the stage, over the fences and near the crappers! Ave taken that to far, sorry. If more songs are ever written though, I may consider updating this book although I really can't be arsed. If some smarter basterd than me, (this does not include Rocky as she spots mistakes in everything I do) happens to spot any mistakes in my spelling or punctuation and decides to point them out to me, all I can say is "Good for you! Why don't you sit for two days trying to piece together Beans and Suzy's notes. Then you can sit and type the whole bloody thing out yourselves." And if I happen to be pissed at the time you tell me (which is very probable) I may also tell you to "shove this book up your fucking arse!" I will apologise though for any spelling errors in people's names, as I couldn't make some of them out.
If you happen to be bored reading now, tough shit, cause a aint finished yet. In all honesty I have enjoyed making the book. I am especially proud of the name of the book which is borrowed from an Ugly George quote. "Do you know any songs that nobody dies in?" which then earned its way onto the back of 1999's T-shirt. A guess we still support songs that nobody die in. I highly recommend though that you read this book while 'smashed out of your face' as the front cover makes a lot more sense. (and so do most of the lyrics.)
The final thank you has got to go to Beans and Suzy (and anyone else that helped with the songs before you start sending me death threats) for being drunk enough to even consider writing all this noncence. Also to the Chief who managed to find all of the notes in his home. (Which also serves as the local library and a refuge for unwanted books.) I also feel obliged to mention Scoffer as he just seems to end up every thing written about the McB's. All I can say now is turn the page, start reading, and prepare to laugh. (Just don't spill your drink!)
Yours drunkily,
Repus Nam
P.S If you actually read this entire page you really are a Sad McBastard.
P.P.S. Lets get Pished!