1) A feeble attempt is being made,
On how life flows in U.G.’s shade,
I don’t know if it will make the grade,
Since it’s merely his outer life being portrayed!
2) He says "Biographies are untrue,
Autobiographies are lies of many a hue,"
Writing about him I should not rue,
I am the one to tell about him and his crew!
3) The show begins by five at dawn,
A soapless bath and he is up with élan,
The select few start getting drawn,
Triple cream with coffee, he has by morn!
4) Canned fruit juice is what he prefers,
A rare plumber’s problem is all he suffers,
His utterances are original, as to no book he refers,
With traditions, customs and dogmas he regularly differs!
5) By ten in the day, a small crowd collects,
A simple chair to sit is all he selects,
The language is English which he elects,
The dialogues vary from virgins to violets.
6) He presides over the details of the day,
He decides where to go and how long to stay,
Perfectly executing the schedule is for him mere child’s play,
He is the chosen sculptor and we are the willing clay!
7) By eight in the night he stops his talk,
Tells one and all to take a walk,
In timing anything he is as accurate as a clock,
At nine in the night he retires to a room which has no lock!
8) What he does between nine and five, no one really knows,
I feel between these hours the real U.G. shows,
Once someone went in, found no one and instantly froze,
Thus the legend called U.G. glows and grows!