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As a newspaper reporter, I got to cover a lot of hard-hitting
stories. This was not one of them.
On Thanksgiving, not a lot of newsworthy
stuff happens. But it's the biggest newspaper of the year, so you
gotta get out there and fill that news hole, as they say. My assignment
was Gobbler Gauge. They made me go to all the local supermarkets
and butcher shops and uncover the facts on the lowest-priced turkey
in town. As if I'd ever purchased a turkey, much less cooked one.
The editors at the paper knew I was fairly handy with the computer —
as long as my graphics were constrained to two dimensions —
so they had me draw something in color for the front page to go
along with my story. "Draw anything," they said. "Just make sure
it's two columns across." Okay, I said. I gave them this beauty —
a self-portrait of me in the unlikely role of Thanksgiving day chef.
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