The kind of attention desirable is that paid to one as a “subject”

as opposed to  an “object.”

                            As in:

                                                                               • Are you paying attention…. to me?
                                         • Are you trying to get what I mean?
                                          • Attending to one’s needs. (Includes serving)
                                            • Dancing in attendance

Note that since each human has a limited supply of attention to pay to everyone and everything,  any attention paid to people not as subjects but to them or anything else as objects still reduces the total supply of desirable attention to be had. Thus it is a good policy to see to it that as much attention as possible does flow to people as they want it.
 

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