The BEST of the

This document contains selected articles that have been approved for publication on the World Wide Web. The full editions of the America's Cup (tm) Free Press are available only by email

America's Cup (tm) Free Press Launch Announcement
Why "America's Cup" (tm) is not a Legal Trademark
Music: "They Built the oneAustralia"
America's Cup (tm) Free Press Application for Membership
Book Review: The Lawsuit History of the America's Cup (tm)
Music: "I am the Skipper of the Stars and Stripes"
Lost French Keel Photographed by Opposition
Forbidden ASCII art of the America's Cup (tm)
Music: "Sail a Race on the Wild Side"
Joe's Journal #1
Music: "When I saw that water there"
Lost French keel lost again!
America's Cup (tm) Jargon Watch
Did DC's Keel Really Break?
Music: "16 Crew"
Rudder Wings: What's Going On?
Joe's Journal #2
Music: "The Ballad of Dennis Conner"
Lord Archer the Next Challenger from the UK?
The Fight for the Trademark
America's Cup (tm) Free Press PRESS PASS
Why Wings Aft are Better
Music: "Got a Black Magic Problem"
Cup Match to be sailed under PHRF
San Diego Protocol Scrapped!
Music: "New York, Yacht Club"

"Call me Fishmeal" (Fishmeal's home page)

From the original announcement in
that launched the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS:

Announcing the formation of the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS.

The AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS is an electronic mailing list dedicated to the limited distribution of news and information about the financial arrangements, money flow, sponsorship deals, trademarks, copyrights, and other behind-the-scenes rumors and gossip relating to the America's Cup (tm) and the various competitors, sponsors, and other business interests. Any other good scandals will also be considered fair game.

The AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS will also solicit artistic contributions in the form of songs, poetry, and stories that deal with these issues.

Our not-so-secret agenda is to return the America's Cup (tm) trademark and the image of the cup back to the public domain. This trademark and image are currently owned by "America's Cup Properties Inc." We also advocate that all copyright claims be dropped from all text material appearing on the America's Cup (tm) World Wide Web site,

Our sharpest weapon is satire. Satire and an extensive network of co-conspirators. But our motives are pure - we are doing this for "The Good of the Cup" (tm).

If you would like to join the email list and thereby subscribe and contribute to the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS, send email to

All articles received or distributed under the heading "AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS" or via the associated email distribution list are private email unless otherwise noted. The author of each article or email item will retain full rights to control subsequent use of their material.

Why "America's Cup" is Not a Legal Trademark

by (David Emberson)

Date: Tue, 7 Feb 1995 12:05:20 +0800
From: " David R. Emberson"
Subject: AMERICA's CUP (not a legal tm) FREE PRESS

I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but count me in!
Anything to make a little mischief... :-)

Here's my contribution:

Why "America's Cup" is Not a Legal Trademark

A trademark is a name or symbol used to identify a product legally restricted to the use of the owner. A U.S. trademark is granted to the applicant by the federal government if the trademark is not a generic term or a common name or symbol that is in the public domain. In practice, when it comes to areas where the trademark office has no expertise, such as sailing, approval of a trademark is usually perfunctory with any subsequent battles left to the courts. If an owner of a trademark does not protect its trademark and the trademark falls into general, common usage then the owner forfeits the exclusive license to its trademark. Xerox Corp. rabidly protects its "Xerox" trademark by objecting vigorously at every turn when the word "xerox" is used generically. Intel was denied the trademark "486" since that is a common number. So it chose to rename the 586 "Pentium," a name which it could trademark.

Who "owns" the America's Cup? The owners of the winning yacht America were given the Cup in 1851 by Queen Victoria. They essentially created a trust in the form of the Deed of Gift. The New York Yacht Club was the original trustee. The Perth Yacht Club became the trustee in 1983, and the San Diego Yacht Club became the trustee in 1987. The San Diego Yacht Club elected to finance the formidable job of running the new Big Business/Big Bucks America's Cup (tm) regatta by creating the America's Cup Organizing Committee. Local skirmishes between SDYC and the Stars and Stripes syndicate over who was really in charge of the Cup caused a delay in announcing the 1990 defense. This allowed Michael Fay to present SDYC with its perfectly legal New Zealand Challenge of 1988. The Auld Mug (Hah! Did they try to trademark that one yet?) has been the hostage of lawyers ever since. Somehow, we now have America's Cup Properties, Inc. claiming exclusive rights to the image of the Hundred Guineas Cup and the name "America's Cup."

As corinthian sailors, we must Take Back Our Cup (tm), the Cup that belongs to all of sailing. Unlike, say, the Stanley Cup, which belongs to a for-profit corporate enterprise (the National Hockey League), the America's Cup belongs to a trust that for 136 years did nothing to protect the image of the Cup or its commonly used name as trademarks. The trust was created to promote corinthian sailing between nations. The fact that the trustee has changed does not mean that the owner, the trust, can now claim trademark status for these symbols. These symbols are now in the public domain due to the fact that the previous trustees did not view their regatta as a vehicle for advertisers, T-shirt salesmen and tourism. Sorry, America's Cup Properties, Incorporated. I guess you will have to go back to running the race committee.

Take Back Our Cup (tm) is a trademark of the America's Cup(tm) Free Press


(to the tune of "THEY BUILT THE SHIP TITANIC")

by an anonymous contributor to the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS

Oh, they built the One-Australia
To sail the ocean blue.
And they thought that they had built a yacht
The water couldn't go through.
Well, the calc's were by some bum
(Must have used a Pentium)
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

It was sad (it was sad),
It was sad (John was mad),
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.
Nobody drowned
(Now the designer can't be found).
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

Well, the skipper said: "Me buckos,"
"We cannot be afraid."
"The wind is over fifteen knots,"
"But the sandwiches are made."
Then they hit that two-foot chop
And the keel just would not stop.
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

It was sad (it was sad),
It was sad (John was mad),
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.
Three million bucks
(Now it's gone, but what the f*ck),
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

They spent twenty million dollars,
To bring the Cup to Oz.
And whenever people asked them why
They could only say "because."
Now the crew must taste defeat,
Their boat's down twelve hundred feet.
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

It was sad (it was sad),
It was sad (John was mad),
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.
Filled up, and sank
(Along with three Australian banks).
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

You can't blame the Race Committee,
They only did what's right.
A wind that only blows force five
Should not be such a fright.
If your hull is paper thin,
No-one says you have to win.
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

It was sad (it was sad),
It was sad (John was mad),
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.
Broke clean in two
(All they salvaged was the crew)
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

Now, they tell this tragic story
In yacht clubs 'round the world.
'Bout how the fearless Aussie crew
Could not sail like the girls.
While the Sheilas beat DC,
They were sinking on TV.
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

It was sad (it was sad),
It was sad (John was mad),
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.
Total disgrace
(Aukland's ready for this race).
It was sad, when the frail yacht went down.

This article may be distributed freely with attribution.
To subscribe to the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS email


(Only required for people who are professionally involved with America's Cup (tm) promotion, reporting, and sponsorship)

NAME:________________    LOGIN________________
Years sailing:__________
Years racing:__________
How many times have you performed a 720 as skipper?__________
How many protests haveyou filed?__________
How many protests have you won?__________
Have you ever appealed a protest decision?__________
Do you have a law degree?__________
Years with internet access__________
Years reading rec.boats__________
How many hours/day do you read
How many times have you been flamed?__________
Favorite computer game____________________
Have you ever had sex while wrapped in a spinnaker?
     a) In forepeak during the party after the race__________
     b) During a race__________
     c) While serving on Race Committee.__________
How often do you get seasick?__________
     a) All the time
     b) Only in the ocean
     c) Only at the top of the mast
     d) Never! (well, hardly ever)
What is your best seasickness performance in each category?
(scale of 1-10)
     a) Distance__________
     b) Accuracy__________
     c) Color__________
     d) Sound Effects__________
Which of the following is a valid excuse for missing a
     a) Good party/bad hangover
     b) The dog ate my race schedule
     c) I was invited to race on a faster boat
Identify the quote:
     a) " There's no bilge pump like a bucket in the hands of a
         frightened man"  ________________________
     b) " God liked people in sailboats much better than he liked
         people in motorboats"  ____________________
     c) " The press is the natural enemy of government" 
How many winch handles have you lost overboard?__________
How many of these did you replace yourself?__________
Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of a yacht club
   board of directors?__________
If yes, please explain:_______________________________________
How many books about the America's Cup (tm) do you own?__________
What is the publication date of the oldest one?__________
ESSAY QUESTION - 100-200 words:
What is the difference between journalism and promotion?

Book Review: The Lawsuit History Of The America's Cup

This magnificent old volume was privately published in 1902, and it is far and away the most comprehensive history of the first 50 litigious years of America's Cup (tm) racing. It's rare and expensive, and I was fortunate to be able to purchase a copy recently with insurance money received after the dismasting of my own yacht.

Even before the America was launched there was a dispute over money. The builder's price was $30,000 in sail-away condition, but the buyer (John C. Stevens) had the option to back out if the America did not prove to be the fastest machine afloat after 20 days of trial. Other histories present the letter proposing these purchase terms at face value, under the builder's name. But the Lawsuit History accurately points out that the contract was most likely ghost-written by Stevens, and the yard, being very short on work, had almost no option but to accept. When the project lagged several weeks behind Stevens' tight schedule - and when a local sloop proved vastly superior in light air (a set-up to get the price down?) Stevens offered to buy the boat for 20K, as a done deal. In any event it certainly appears that Commodore Stevens got the better of the boatyard, probably for the first and last time in recorded history. Yard managers continue to take their revenge on racing yacht owners, 164 years later.

The controversies surrounding the America from the moment its anchor first touched English mud to the moment that Stevens boarded the homeward bound steamer, cup in hand, are well documented. There's the outrageous 10,000 guinea wager offer, the short-cut inside the Nab lighthouse that was ruled legal, the exception to the rule against preventer tackle, and the strangely low selling price (5,000 pounds) for the yacht after the race.

The America's Cup (tm) saw the inside of a real courthouse for the first time in 1857, with the creation of the Deed of Gift. This document was the basis for rejecting Ashbury's first challenge in 1869, and for setting the one-against-the-fleet terms of the accepted 1870 contest. The 1871 re-match was characterized by bitter disputes over conditions of the race and other protests. Having lost four out of five races in a best-of- seven, the challenger sailed the last two races unopposed and claimed victory. Ashbury vowed that "if he ever came in quest of the cup again he would bring his legal advisors with him."

The 1876 and 1881 challenges from Canada were clean (if lopsided), and ended the era of multiple defenders. The two mismatches motivated the NYYC to return the cup to George Schuyler, who sent it back to the club by way of the courthouse with a new Deed of Gift.

Two more challengers from England were dispatched more-or-less without a hitch in 1885 and 1886, but in 1887, the heat was turned up with a challenge from Scotland. The new English tonnage rule was more compatible with the American handicapping system, and for the first time an element of secrecy was introduced in the two competing defender's camps. 1887 was also the first year in which a diver was used to report on a secret hull shape. After the first race the challenger charged that their bottom had been somehow molested, and the diver went into hiding. There were also serious complaints about conditions on the race course made unsuitable for racing due to the crowd of spectator boats, and the NYYC had a problem with the challenger's waterline length being greater than that stipulated in the challenge. This last point was resolved by arbitration, and resulted in the cup once again going back to Mr. Schuyler for yet another revision to the Deed of Gift.

But it wasn't all from Schuyler's hand. NYYC formed a committee to "confer" on the wording of the document, and it is noted that "...the language of the resolution by which they were given their authority to act unfortunately laid the club open to the charge of assuming powers not vested in trustees by common law or by custom, in proposing changes in an instrument defining the conditions of their trust."

The document that was the result of this process is essentially the same one that is in force today.

Lord Dunraven's first challenge was actually in 1889, but challenger and defender could not agree on terms. His challenge for 1893 was accepted, however, and he was defeated after some close racing. Pundits on both sides of the Atlantic were critical of the Deed of Gift, especially the provision requiring exact pre-specification of the challenger's LWL, which Dunraven claimed was a significant factor in his defeat (not to mention the usual problems with spectator boats). But he was back for more in 1895, and the result this time was a protest over measurement and ballast that led to a formal inquest hearing a year after the fact. This was the most acrimonious dispute yet, the infamous " Dunraven Incident" that, according to some, nearly did in the America's Cup (tm) as a sporting event. The messy right-of-way protest at the start of the first race that led to partial dismasting of the defender is all but forgotten by comparison. Although Dunraven never received the redress he sought with his allegations of illegal re-ballasting, there was an act of Congress passed in 1896 that gave the Coast Guard and other jurisdictions the authority to keep the spectator fleet clear of the course.

1899 was the first Lipton challenge, notable for lack of serious controversy. 1901 is the last year covered by The Lawsuit History, and the big issue was the eligibility of the boat from Boston. The Deed of Gift does not specifically require that the defending yacht be owned by a member of the defending club, although that had always been the NYYC interpretation. Lots of front-page ink was spilled over that battle, which became moot when the Boston boat proved uncompetitive.

If The Lawsuit History of the America's Cup demonstrates one thing, it is that America's Cup (tm) sailors have always had far more than their share of protesterone flowing through their veins. To the uninitiated, this seems to be a fatal perversion of George Schuyler's original concept for friendly international competition. On the other hand, it was the bitter controversies that kept the America's Cup (tm) stories on the front page of the New York Times for more than a Century and a half. Without those stories (and the forest of trees that must have died to make the paper to print them on), the America's Cup (tm) might have slipped into obscurity.

This book will add prestige to any sailor's coffee table. 400 pages, about 90 contemporary illustrations, and an impressive cloth binder with gold cover art. It can be found in the reading rooms of all proper yacht clubs, and is now on the list of required reading for new members of the New York State Supreme Court.
May be distributed with attribution.


Ever since distributing " Oh, They Built the oneAustralia," 
there's been sentiment for equal treatment of the other side.
Here, then, is my submission...
" I am the Skipper of the Stars and Stripes" 
         (to the tune of " I am the Captain of the Pinafore" )
         by Gilbert, Sullivan, and Fishmeal
         (indented lines are sung by the crew)
I am the skipper of the Stars and Stripes
     And a right good skipper, too.
My starts are very good,
And be it understood
I command a right good crew.
     His starts are very good,
     and be it understood
     He commands a right good crew.
I'm never known to fail
When defending yachting's grail,
And I never never break my cover.
     What never?
No never!
     What never?
Well - hardly ever!
     He hardly ever breaks his cover!
     So give three hours of media hype
     To the fearless skipper of the Stars and Stripes.
     Give three hours of media hype
     To the skipper of the Stars and Stripes!
I am the skipper of the Stars and Stripes,
     And a right good skipper, too.
I'll call the ladies queer
When the pess is standing near,
Though we know it isn't true.
     He'll call the ladies queer
     When the press is standing near,
     Though he knows it isn't true.
I'm never on the take
When there's sponsorship at stake,
And I never lose selection trials.
     What never?
No never!
     What never?
Well, hardly ever!
     He hardly ever loses trials!
     So give three weeks of media hype
     To the fearless skipper of the Stars and Stripes.
     Give three weeks of media hype
     To the skipper of the Stars and Stripes!
I am the skipper of the Stars and Stripes,
     And a right good skipper, too.
The Kiwis fell lke that [snap fingers]
When I sailed a faster cat,
(I can read the Dead of Gift, too)
     The Kiwis fell like that
     When he sailed a faster cat,
     (He can read the Dead of Gift, too)
When you've got the best machine
You can win and it looks clean.
And I'll never ever lose that cup!
     What never?
No never!
     What never?
Well, hardly ever!
     He'll hardly ever lose that cup!
     So give three months of media hype
     To the fearless skipper of the Stars and Stripes.
     Give three months of media hype
     To the skipper of the Stars and Stripes!
I am the skipper of the Stars and Stripes,
     And a right good skipper, too.
We went out in a full gale,
Stayed afloat (but couldn't sail)
When the wind hit twenty-two.
     We went out in a full gale,
     Stayed afloat but couldn't sail
     When the wind hit twenty-two.
I am the best there is
In the A-Cup sailing biz,
And I'll never drink New Zealand beer.
     What never?
No never!
     What never?
Well, hardly ever!
     He'll hardly ever drink that beer!
     So give three years of media hype
     To the fearless skipper of the Stars and Stripes.
     Give three years of media hyyyyyyyyyype
     To the skipper of the Stars and Stripes!
This article may be distributed freely with attribution.
To subscribe to the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS email

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The AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS has learned that the keel of France 2, the second-string boat in the French challenge, has been located and photographed. It's not known which syndicate found the keel first, but it was reportedly "one of the easiest jobs we've ever done," according to one of the technicians involved. "We saw everything we needed to see before the French salvage operation had barely gotten started."

The exact location, water depth, andmethod of obtaining the photos can not be reported at this time. But the general vicinity was quickly determined by spectator boats following support vessels to the scene, and locating the keel exactly was almost trivial.

The keel reportedly sits upright in the middle of a ubstantial crater in the muddy bottom. Not surprising, considering the lightweight composite structure of the foil (presumably buoyant), and the massive amount of lead in the keel's bulb and/or wings (presumably not buoyant).

Why the interest in an " old" keel? Because France 2 was very likely testing a new keel on the old boat, using the known performance gap against their new boat as a benchmark. The French are not believed to have the best keel technology this year, but even so, it was apparently worth going after the photos.

MUSIC: "SAIL A RACE ON THE WILD SIDE" (to the tune of "Take a Walk on the Wild Side")

David was from San Diego CA
Thought he'd sail for A-cubed for a day
Changed the crew list, borrowed a shirt
Called the shots (the guy's such a flirt)
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     All the race committee go:
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
Dave was certain he could win the race
But Mighty Mary still finished second place
Reporters all said " Oh my lord!" 
" One of that crew has a centerboard!" 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     All the sponsors go:
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
Tacticians are supposed to be real smart
But Dave could barely get an even start
Had his chance to give the boat a whirl
Threw the race (but he throws like a girl)
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     All the sailmakers go:
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
They say the women asked to race that way
Only a man could ever save the day
What were they thinking? Where was their head?
Bill himself should have steered instead!
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     They said "hey Dave, sail a race on the wild side..." 
     Dennis Conner goes:
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
     Do do-do do-do do-do-do-do do do-do do-do do-do-do-do
This article may be distributed freely with attribution.
To subscribe to the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS email 

Joes's Journal #1

(Editor's note: "Joe's Journal" was downloaded from an unidentified URL with a text-only web browser. Joe's Journal is "salty" in both form and content, so delete it now if you don't want to read that sort of stuff. It's about 80 lines. Sorry I couldn't get you the pictures that go with it.)

     Well goddam fucking sonofabitch, of all the people to run
     into at the party thrown by Bruno, I never woulda guessed to 
      cross tacks with Di. The old girl has aged a bit since '92, 
     but still a respectable piece o' transom, if you know what I 
     mean and I think you do.
     Photo: Old Di ain't what she used to be, 'specially not from
     this angle.
     She's still as tough as ever to bag, if my pals at Miramar
     are to be believed. The story is that one of the fighter
     jocks was showing her what it's like to sit inside an A-6.
     That's the one with the side-by-side seating, and that was
     no coincidence. So they're in the cockpit, and as soon he
     made his move to first base she reaches over and pulls the
     goddam fucking ejection seat for his chair. For *first
     base*, fer cryin' out loud. Too bad for him that his side of
     the canopy didn't open properly. Anyway my other buddies at
     the air station say that these A-Cup parties are more fun
     than the Tailhook Convention back in the good old days.
     Fuck, that's what I'm down here for.
     Photo: That's a former U.S. Navy fighter pilot inside that
     helmet - *completely* inside that helmet.
     The San Diego waterfront is awash with groupies and gold-
     diggers. Easy pickins, too: All the sailors are *way* too
     fucking tired to keep their faces out of their goddam
     spaghetti plates after their second drink. And they have to
     sneak those goddam drinks too, because the wussie coaches
     are trying like fuck to keep them straight. Meanwhile the
     old farts with money go to bed at 8:30, and that leaves a
     Certified British Shitload of wives, girlfriends, and great
     aunties with nothin' to do. Oh yeah, and the odd bitch
     columnist, too,  which brings us back to Di.
     Photo: Australian grinder face-down in plate of spaghetti.
     Seems that early in the '92 campaign I actually got drunk
     enough one night to go after her. Fuck, what a night. Ended
     up doing it *inside* the keel shrouds of the New Zealand
     boat, right on top of that 40,000 lb piece of lead. Shit, it
     was the only place I figured no-one would be able to bother
     us. But that piece of lead was cold! Almost as cold a piece
     as Di, in fact. So next day, I wrote her phone number in the
     bathroom at Bula's, sort of down low so's you wouldn't see
     it unless you were puking into the john, and sure enough we
     didn't see much of Di after that.
     Photo: Here's where we did it. And by the way that's the '92
     version of the top secret keel.
     Shit, that reminds me, something about those damn keels: A
     buddy of mine drives the heavy equipment over at DC's digs,
     and he moves those fuckers around. Can't see fuck-all, they
     make sure of that, the way the big guys are wrapped up. But
     he knows how many keels there are, and where they store 'em.
     Weird thing is, day after the Stars and Stripes keel almost
     dropped, he says he counted one extra keel in the yard. And
     he didn't drive it in, which he says is flat-out im-fucking-
     possible. I'll get some more beers into him later this week,
     and see how much more he knows.
     Anyway, I gotta go. Have to drive a big piece-o'-shit
     spectator boat tomorrow. if you're one of my passengers (and
     if you have big tits) be sure to come up to the pilothouse
     for a gam. We got an autopilot, and those fucking sailboats
     can keep out of my way for a change.
     'Till next time, Joe says: "There's nothing as over-rated as
     bad fuck, and nothing as under-rated as a good shit."
     Copyright? Fuck copyright.

Okay, you can uncover your eyes now. Hopefully we'll be seeing more of Joe's Journal - delivered in a plain brown ASCII wrapper.

Note that since Joe's Journal is pulled from a web site, presumably it's fair game for electronic re-distribution. Joe would seem to agree.

MUSIC: "When I Saw that Water There"
by an anonymous contributor
(to the tune of "I Saw her Standing There")

Well it only blew 13
You know what I mean
But the loads exceeded strength by just a hair
Now I'll swap my keel for another, OOOO!
When I saw that water there

We were far out at sea
And I, I could see
That before too long, we'd be underwater
Now I'll swap my keel for another, OOOO!
When I saw those bulkheads tear

Well the frames went crack, we were quite far back
Never saw the finish line
That pump sure saved the day
We primed it with Perrier
And before too long, we were just spectators.
Now I'll swap my keel for another, OOOO!
Though they claim it isn't fair

Pedrick's socks got wet, bookies paid our bet
Good thing were were far behind
The boat was leaking fast
Couldn't even finish last
And before too long, A-cubed was protesting
Cause I swapped my keel for another, OOOO!
Since I saw that water there
Since I saw that water there

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Lost French Keel Lost Again!

Meanwhile, oceanographic researchers, moonlighting for an un- named syndicate, went back to get some more photos of the keel that fell off France 2. However, they were not successful in locating the keel this time. "We're completely mystified," reported one of the technicians. "We found the impact crater, but the keel was gone!" Oceanographers are now trying to identify a natural phenomenon that could move a keel of those proportions out of range of the cameras and sonar of the researchers. Because underwater photography of keels, lost or found, is clearly in violation of item 13-F of the "Mutual Consent Items" that deal with security and reconnaissance, the project necessarily takes a low profile.


The language of sailing is a living language if there ever was one, and usage changes every season. This is a sample of some of the jargon believed to be in current use by top-level sailboat racers. If you have corrections, additions, or etymological treatises on any current jargon, the America's Cup (tm) Free Press is interested in your contributions to this feature for future issues.

ACCORDION: 1. n. the paths of two boats that are alternately getting lifts/headers, or 2. n. a temporary gain or loss relative to another boat on the same tack; "this is an accordion for us" or 3. v. the act of sailing that kind of course. Used on Stars & Stripes on 95-04-26, and explained by Jobson.

ASSHOLE n. kink or hockle in a sheet or halyard that prevents it from running freely though a fairlead

BANG THE CORNER v. to sail all the way to one side of a race course in search of a strategic advantage

BIG SQUEEZE: n. the maneuver by which the boat in safe leeward position, ahead and to leeward, works up into a position to give the windward boat bad air, taking advantage of the lifted flow in the safe leeward position

BLACKALLER n. kink or hockle in a sheet or halyard that prevents it from running freely though a fairlead

BOWCHICK: n. female crew who works point position on foredeck (self-referential only)

BRICK v. to tightly fold or flake a sail into a compact, heavy, rectangular shape

BUNCHED UP: adj. pinching

CADDIE: n. mainsheet winch grinder, or in general, a mostly- physical helper in any position on a large boat

CASPER DOUSE: n. spinnaker douse in which the sail collapses on the foredeck, covering the crew with white sailcloth. Popularized by Peter Isler during 1992 America's Cup coverage.

CLIMBING OFF: v. pointing higher

FAST FORWARD: v. sailing low and fast on a beat

FLAG 'EM: v. to protest another yacht, signaled by displaying a protest flag

FLAT STICK adj. (Kiwi) slang for maximum speed or all-out effort, aeronautical or automotive origin

GAS n. bad air downwind of another boat

GAUGE: n. relative distance between two boats, distinct from bearing, as in "gaining gauge, losing bearing"

HAND SAILING v. describing sailing maneuvers, usually as part of a postmortem, by using palms of hands to represent courses and heel angles

HAWAIIAN ROUNDING: n. A windward mark rounding in which the boat inside or astern forces the outside or leading boat well past the layline, towards Hawaii.

HEIGHT MODE: n. trimmed for high pointing

HIP n. windward quarter of a boat, referring to position of competitor, as in "on our hip"

HOT IT UP v. to sail higher and faster on a running or reaching leg

HUNT v. to maneuver towards another boat that is obligated to keep clear, with the intent of causing a foul. The 1993 revision of the match racing rules significantly enlarges the ability of the right-of-way yacht to use this tactic, although it remains poorly understood by untrained television commentators.

HYDRO n. device on Stars & Stripes for reducing speed, alleged to resemble a large suction bailer so as not to count as a moveable appendage

KIWI DOUSE n. Spinnaker douse similar to MEXICAN TAKEDOWN, but with a symmetrical spinnaker. First used in 1987 America's Cup races by New Zealand crews.

KOCH BLOCK n. Running backstay or checkstay block positioned so that it could hit the head of an inattentive member of the afterguard when not under load. First used during the 1992 America's Cup defense.

LEFTY: n. wind shift to the left

LEVERAGE: n. transverse separation, allowing one boat to gain or loose with respect to the other in the event of a wind shift

LIVING: v. ability to maintain speed to windward and behind a competitor, on the edge of bad air

MEXICAN TAKEDOWN: n. spinnaker douse in which the boat jibes, but the spinnaker is left flying on the new windward side, where it collapses against the jib as it is pulled down. Used on camera by Dennis Conner during the race on April 13, 1995, but is believed to have been coined by Buddy Melges during the 1992 campaign. In '92 it might have referred to a conventional floater drop and port rounding, during which the spinnaker blows off to the southeast, towards Mexico. See KIWI DOUSE.

NELSONS: n., pl. rudder wings, first used by designer Bruce Nelson on Mighty Mary

POSSESSION: n. the lead position, as in "get possession." Used by Peter Isler on 4-19-95.

PRESSURE: n. slightly increased wind speed

PROTESTERONE: n. Hormone responsible for propensity to file protests. Until 1995 it had been believed that because women have only vestigial protestes glands (where protesterone is synthesized) this behavior was sex-linked. However, researchers have now concluded that the smaller concentration of protesterone in women has a proportionately greater effect on their behavior.

REEL 'EM IN: v. to gradually but significantly reduce the lead of the boat in front

REVERSE MEXICAN: n. windward spinnaker douse, followed by a jibe. Different from a conventional floater drop because it's done on a hot reaching angle, and with an assym there's no need to trip the pole early. Called for and executed by Mighty Mary at first leeward mark on 95-04-26.

RIGHTY: n. wind shift to the right

RUNWAY n. distance to layline, mark, or starting line, used in situations where room will be needed for acceleration. Used by T. Whiddon on Stars & Stripes, 95-04-26.

SEWER n. the below-decks space on a large racing yacht with minimal accommodations

SHRIMPING: v. using the spinnaker in a manner reminiscent of a trawl net, as when trawling for shrimp. Often performed for a shrt time during a spinnaker douse.

SIT ON THEIR FACE v. to closely cover a competitor, matching them tack-for-tack and keeping them in bad air

SLAM-DUNK n. the act of tacking on another boat's wind in sufficiently close proximity to prevent the other boat from tacking away. First popularized by Jim Kelly and Gary Jobson during 1987 America's Cup coverage, in their attempt to make sailing tactics comprehensible to American viewers. Usage in Australia dates to 1983 America's Cup coverage or earlier, however.

SMALL BITES: n. pl. small oscillatory course changes resulting in distance and position gained to windward relative to another boat

STING: n. Local gust of wind in light conditions. Used several times aboard Stars & Stripes on 95-04-26.

STRETCH DRIVE: n. First used on television by Jim Kelly on 4-15-95. The meaning of this term in the context of sailboat racing is not fully understood.

TRIM UP: v. (Kiwi) sheet in

VANITY JIBE n. an unnecessary jibe done for the purpose of passing close to yacht club, committee boat, or spectators

WALL: n. The layline. "If you jibe early you don't have a wall to work up against." T. Whiddon, 95-04-26.

From the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS. This article may be distributed freely with attribution. To subscribe to the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS email


Heads rolled in the Team Dennis Conner camp when they realized they had missed an important trick: They were the only syndicate that didn't think to sell off the *very* high-valued real estate on the Stars 'n Stripes keel to advertisers. In the midst of the turmoil and internal finger-pointing, one disenchanted TDC team member confirmed something that the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS has suspected for some time: It's pretty much impossible to break the boat *and* the keel simultaneously.

If the boat breaks badly enough to cause a serious leak - which appears to be what happened - then the keel itself should be largely undamaged. If the keel breaks, there's really no way it can do enough damage to the boat to cause such a serious leak.

"It all comes down to semantics," our source says. " What's the keel, and what's the boat?"


What's going on with these rudder wings?

The idea of rudder wings is not new. Gary Mull, designer of the forward-rudder 12-meter USA knew all about them as far back as '87. But how they work and what they do is not at all obvious. If you want to improve the lift/drag ratio of the rudder, the most effective change is to increase the rudder's aspect ratio, making the blade deeper but shorter in chord length. So why add wings if the rudder isn't already at maximum allowable draft?

One important function of rudder wings could be pitch damping: the wing on the windward side makes a kind of horizontal stabilizer, suppressing pitch motions. Remember Elvestrom's 12-meters and 6-meters with bulbous bows? He has reported that the real advantage, when all was said and done, was from pitch damping in waves, rather than from smooth-water resistance reduction.

The other phenomena with keel and rudder wings that's poorly understood is their effect on resistance in oscillating flow - that is, in waves. Enter Dr. Kutzmeyer, an aerodynamicist at Cal Tech who, many years ago, was getting some strange data from wind tunnel tests of a 2-D foil model. For some reason the instruments were showing negative drag! On careful investigation, it was determined that there was a faulty baffle in the wind tunnel, and even though the average flow direction was straight on, there were oscillations in the flow so at any given instant there was an up or down angle. When this angle exceeded the angle made by the arc-tangent of drag/lift - the so-called "drag angle" - then the forward component of the inclined-forward lift vector was greater than the drag vector. For this to work, it had to be a very efficient foil model with lots of lift and very little drag. But the result was a net force *into* the average flow. Hence the "kutsmeyer effect" - negative drag coefficient (thrust) on very efficient foils in certain kinds of oscillating or irregular flow fields.

What does this mean for America's Cup (tm) boats? The lift/drag ratio of keel and rudder wings is on the order of 25:1 or better. If there's enough heaving and pitching, the wings might actually pull forward! So while the pundits seem to think that the wings only help upwind, the reality might be that wings can help turn wave energy into propulsion, on a run or any other point of sail.

The wave conditions in San Diego have been much more severe than the climatological average, and this explains some of the frantic re-designs to optimize for these new conditions.

Not only that, compliant materials in the rudder wings might even allow a kind of "swim fin" effect. What do you think this press release excerpt from Cray could be talking about, now that "riblets" are illegal?

     Young America employs revolutionary new materials that
     assist in reducing drag on the sailing craft and improving
     lift -- ultimately increasing the boat's speed. Through
     simulation on Cray supercomputers, PACT 95 designers were
     able to better understand the effect of the new material to
     improve flow direction and ease the flow around the hull.

Wave energy extraction could explain the Cray press release, which suddenly makes sense if you think of these compliant materials being used in rudder wings. Or, as the anonymous source of the press release suggests, "simply disinformation."

It's also reported, BTW, that Cray's contribution to PACT'95 is worth over two million dollars in hardware and computer time.

Our usual source "deep within the research community" has some additional comments on wings and waves, to appear in the next issue.

MUSIC: "Sixteen Crew"
by an anonymous contributor
(To the tune of "Sixteen Tons" by Merle Travis)


Some people say a cup boat's not made to last
A cup boat's made outa resin and glass
Resin and glass and carbon and lead
They shoulda used steel, we got kevlar instead
     It takes sixteen crew, and what do you get?
     Another race lost, and the program's in debt
     Kevin donchya beat me 'cause I gotta win
     I owe my soul to ESPN
We went out one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
Used the new sails, but were late for the line
Needed more money but the sponsor said no
Had to buy our shirts at the souvenir store *
     It takes sixteen crew, and what do you get?
     Defense Committee ain't decided yet
     Russel donchya beat me 'cause I gotta win
     I owe my soul to ESPN.
My first time sailing was in drizzling rain
Rulebook and protest are my middle name
Crewed for a judge and a sea-lawyer too
Ain't no way they're gonna green flag you **
     It takes sixteen crew, and what do you get?
     Grind all day and your pants get wet
     Leslie donchya beat me 'cause I gotta win
     I owe my soul to ESPN.
If you see me comin' better steer aside
'Cause if you don't, then we're gonna collide
One tack is starboard, *** the other is port ****
If you don't keep clear, I'll see you in court
     It takes sixteen crew, and what do you get?
     Defense Committee ain't decided yet
     Dennis donchya beat me 'cause I gotta win
     I owe my soul to ESPN
     I owe my soooouuuuuul..... to ESPN
   * pronounced "stow" for you Aussies and Kiwis
  ** point at audience
 *** show fist
**** show other fist
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The America's Cup (mt) Free Press has obtained another installment of Joe's Journal, although we still haven't located the URL from which it originates. True to Joe's form, the style and content are both rather "salty." So if you're offended by four-letter words and an extra "F" inserted n common abbreviations, delete the next 85 lines. And again, this is off the net, so it's okay to repost this one.

     Fuckin'-A! Turns out that Di has a daughter! Di musta been
     one of those chicks who dropped out around the middle of
     senior year and then didn't come to the first couple of
     reunions. And I always figured, with her rich-ass family and
     all, she woulda been able to do the quickie "vacation" to
     Puerto Rico just before it started to show. But here's
     living proof!.
     Photo: DI's daughter. You poor fuckers still using Lynx can
     eat your hearts out.
     Anyway, that kid's dad musta been some sweet and sexy piece
     of work, because she sure didn't get what she's got from her
     mom. I mean, fuck, like a freight train on steroids! If I
     was wearing my offshore harness I woulda fucking clipped on.
     Holy fuck-shit, we were bouncing around like an E-scow in an
     ebb tide. I was starting to have flashbacks to Fastnet '79.
     But I digress...
     The mood's been too fucking serious around the San Diego
     waterfront, IMHFO. Make that waterfronts, because the
     different syndicates are spread out all over creation. Shit,
     even I had to resort to pushing debutantes into swimming
     pools for entertainment. That, and giving technical adice
     on how to properly de-pants an Australian. Good thing Di Jr.
     showed up to ratchet up the action a few clicks.

     Photo: Debutante in absurdly expensive evening gown climbing
     out of swimming pool.
     Meanwhile, while Di Jr. is fucking everyone's brains out, 
     Di herself must be getting bored to shit. 
     All she can do is fucking name-drop. Fuck, I've had rolls 
     in the hay that I'm proud of too, but I don't go blabbing 
     about them on the fucking internet. Except that time I shared a 
     V-berth with Lee Helm *and* her girlfriend - but shit, that 
     story will take more space to tell than we have here.
     Photo: Lee Helm and friend. Betchya didn't know she smokes.
     It's big fun, BTFW, to watch the Kiwi and Aussie crews in
     the bars, now that their schedule has eased up. But those
     fuckers from one-oz, you wouldn't believe how they try to
     play up the sympathy act while their program circles the
     drain. This one trimmer is laying it on real thick to this
     hot little media PR droid, and she puts him fucking
     completely a-back with this line "if you want sympathy,
     you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis."
     A woman after my own heart, had me LOFL. Musta cost him at
     least three boatlengths, if you know what I mean and I think
     you do. But shit, they left together anyway.
     Speaking of 'Strai'ans, BTFW, did you know that Kraft makes
     and sells Vegemite down there? Sorta the vegetable version
     of Spam, if you're lucky enough to never have seen or tasted
     the shit. YMMFV, but they seem to like it. Explains a few
     things, no? OTOFH, they suck up that Mt. whateveritis rum
     like centrifugal bilge pumps with a solid prime - there's no
     accounting for taste. And that Champagne that Di says she
     likes so much, even though it tastes like fucking horse piss
     if you ask me. (JAFDP) They must be one of her sponsors too.
     Well, that's it for now. Tomorrow I have to drive one of the
     umpire boats (Why in *fuck* did they ever agree to use     
     Bayliners, fercrisakes?) so you might see me on TV. No
     passengers allowed on the umpire boat, so if you get a
     glimpse of Di Jr. in the hatch, that's just between you and
     Remember: "You can pick your friends, and you can pick your
     nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose."
     Copyright? Fuck copyright.
     ps: Where can I get a subscription to "the Tittler?"
     Sounds like my kinda rag.

Re-printed by the AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS

MUSIC: The Ballad of Dennis Conner
(to the tune of "The Ballad of Davey Crockett")

          Born in a condo by the deep blue sea
          Yacht club carpet has stains from his pee
          Favorite toy was a code flag B
          And charged at the bar, when he was only three
               Dennis, Dennis Conner
               They call him the Comeback Kid
          Raced doublehanded 'cause he was so poor
          'Till the fleet was licked, and fame was in store
          But while he was handling this risky chore
          He made some people angry forever more
               Dennis, Dennis Conner
               They call him the Comeback Kid
          He went off to Newport to raise some hell
          Messin' up the starts, the way he could yell
          Drove every Twelve, so we hear tell,
          Too bad he couldn't win with Liberty as well.
               Dennis, Dennis Conner
               Head in the trophy case
          When he lost the Cup, his grief was tall
          There were times he wanted to end it all
          And sail right over a waterfall
          But he answered instead, his yacht club's call
               Dennis, Dennis Conner
               They call him the Comeback Kid
          When he come home, the Cup soundly won
          The fundraising drive had just begun
          He completely forgot it was 'sposed to be fun
          And pasted a logo on his number one
               Dennis, Dennis Conner
               Grovelling for corporate bucks
          His boat is fastest, and his boat is best
          But he's giving the old Stars and Stripes a rest
          Can another hull meet the Kiwi test?
          I'll bet the Cup goes to the south and the west!
               Dennis, Dennis Conner
               We'll see you in Auckland soon
               See you in Auckland soon....
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Is LORD JEFFERY ARCHER planning a challenge from UK? (Alex Bainbridge) passes along the rumor that "Lord Jeffery Archer - a UK author, Member of parliament and close associate to Baroness Thatcher, has purchased land in New Zealand on the coast somewhere next to a yacht club." One possible explanation is simple land speculation: "When (if) TNZ win the cup, in the next AC all the challengers will need somewhere to put their headquarters...." But it's more likely that something more directly aimed at the America's Cup (tm) itself is in the works.


In a few weeks the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron will, in all probability, become the "current trustee" of the America's Cup (tm). This means that they will also own the single share of stock in "America's Cup (tm) Properties, Inc," the company that owns and administers the trademark to the words "America's Cup" (tm) and the trademark to the image of the cup itself on behalf of the current trustee.

If we expect to influence their policy with respect to these trademarks, now is the time. We need email contacts within the Team New Zealand organization, and especially within the RNZYS.

We don't expect the Kiwis to suffer from the same degree of rectal-cranial inversion that plagued the San Digo guardians of the cup. Kiwi trusteeship should be a major breath of fresh air. But still, a buck is a buck, and the yacht club organizers may find themselves operating with essentially the same motives and constraints as the San Diego crowd.

Here's where our lobbying efforts need to cut in: It's been clear that private ownership of the words "America's Cup' (tm) can do far more harm than good, from a public relations point of view. Same with the trademarks of the image of the Cup. This is not a situation where "brand recognition" and "confusion with competing events" can be a problem (and if it is there are other ways of dealing with those issues). We need to apply pressure to the RNZYS, in the form of common-sense persuasion.

RNZYS needs to know that:

1) We know who owns the trademarks and how this ownership can be abused.
2) We areprepared to use all methods at our disposal: publicity, (legal) conspiracy, print media spams, and especially "the anarchy of the net" to insure that such abuses are not repeated.
3) We believe that the only reasonable course of action is to return the trademark of the words "America's Cup" and the image of the cup to the public domain.

Note that this does not necessarily mean that we oppose the City of Aukland or the RNZYS making a ton of money out of the deal, or that we oppose the use of other trademarked logos (like the AC95 logo) or that we oppose other aspects of commercialization. It's safe to assume, in fact, that we all have widely divergent opinions on these issues. What we do agree on, along with 99.65% of sailors worldwide, is that the words "America's Cup" (tm) should not be trademarked.

It's better if we can begin our lobbying efforts before the end of the Cup match. TNZ and the RNZYS should commit to returning the America's Cup (tm) trademarks to the public domain now! So, if anyone has an email contact for any TNZ team member, any member of the RNZYS, or anyther person closely related to the soon-to-be trustee of the America's Cup (tm), pass it along to the Free Press and we will initiate some serious electronic lobbying efforts.

America's Cup (tm) Free Press PRESS PASS

Going to San Diego for the final match?

Don't be hearded around like just another tourist! Go on assignment for the America's Cup (tm) Free Press!

Clip the OFFICIAL AC(tm)FP PRESS PASS below, after filling in your userid and the date. It's real! It's valid! It will get you into the pre-race interviews, the post-race press conferences, the VIP press hospitality suites, and aboard the best spectator boats. (Don't forget to file your stories.)

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      |                P R E S S    P A S S                 |
      |                                                     |
      |            AMERICA'S CUP (tm) FREE PRESS            |
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      |       issued to:                                    |
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Wings Aft!

Why are wings aft so much faster than wings forward? This is the most visible difference between Black Magic and Young America, and surely the slower boat can't have it right.

Part of it is the same reason that foils with swept tips have a slight advantage. In three dimensions, the vortex sheet "coalesces" into vortex tubes as it moves aft, and more energy can be recovered from it there. This is especially true where there's a discontinuity in the span loading, such as in the transition from the wide, heavily-loaded keel foil to the more lightly-loaded wings.

But this is still a very small effect. The larger number is likely to be from change in balance. As the boat heels, the wings pick up proportionately more of the side frce. Placing the wings aft means that the total side force moves aft as the heel angle increases, which is just what you want to do to compensate for increased weather helm caused by the thrust from the sails moving to leeward.

Then there's an advantage in waves. The wings aft are more effective in damping out pitch motion, and might even generate some "Kotzmeyer effect" thrust as described in the last issue, in the discussion of the workings of the "Nelsons" (rudder wings).

There also may be a desirable interaction with the wave pattern generated by the hull and the wave effects from the wings. A well-placed source at an very active research facility tells us that TNZ decided on the keel and wing configuration before working on the hull shape, and that's what led them to the aft center of gravity and aft keel/wing location.

     "I know others did their hull work before or in parallel
     with wind tunnel work," says our source, "and so were using
     bulbs with no wings and ended up somewhere else with respect
     to hull shape, i.e. LCB further forward than TNZ."

It's also worth pointing out that TNZ uses full-span, untapered wings, probably the most powerful wings in the series this year. This is consistent with the design philosophy of allowing a little more heel angle, and relying on the wings for a greater portion of the side force.

MUSIC: Black Magic Problem
(to the tune of "Black Magic Woman"

           I got a Black Magic problem
           I got a Black Magic problem
           Yes, I got a Back magic problem
           They're sailing so fast I can see
           This is a Black Magic problem and they're
           going to make a loser out of me.
           Don't throw that tack on me, Kiwi
           Don't throw that tack on me, Kiwi
           No, don't throw that tack on me, Kiwi
           We've spent every dime we can spend
           Don't throw that tack on me, Kiwi, cause you
           might just make us change the rules again
           You got boat speed on me, Kiwi
           You got boat speed on me, Kiwi
           Yes, you got boat speed on me, Kiwi
           I might as well just give it up
           You're pointing so high,
           magic boat I can't give you that cup...
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In an effort to bring more relevane to America's Cup (tm) racing, the San Diego Yacht Club announced today that all remaining races of the current Cup series will be sailed under PHRF handicaps. Speaking on behalf of the America's Cup (tm) Trustee's Committee in a pre-dawn press conference, the SDYC spokesperson explained that "since the vast majority of racing in the U.S. now takes place under PHRF or similar performance-based handicap systems, it's only appropriate that the America's Cup (tm) reflect this national preference."

Concurrently, the Southern California PHRF Committee announced that it had determined PHRF ratings for both Young America and BlackMagic. Although the actual ratings were not disclosed, it was announced that Black Magic rates 12 seconds/mile faster than Young America.


And with it the Trustees Committee, final arbitor of defender- challenger disputes for the '92 and '95 matches.

Signed by Peter B. Hay, commodore of the RNZYS, and Robert James, vice commodore of the NYYC, the new agreement returns to the practice of charging the first accpeted challenger (the "Challenger of Record") with the task of conducting the challeger elimination trials and representing all challengers in further negotiations with the defender. Also gone is the Challenger of Record Committee.

The new protocal replaces the Trustee's Committee with the "America's Cup Arbitration Panel," which will consist of five members: Two from RNZYS and two from NYYC, with a fifth selected by the first four.

The change effectlvely freezes out both Perth and San Diego, who would have been equal members on the Trustee's Committee with RNZYA under the '92 rules. Also frozen out is Dennis Conner's "American Yacht Club." It doesn't meet the new requirement that challenging clubs be in existance for five years and have at least 200 members.

How can they arbitrarily change the rules like this? What about the Deed of Gift?

No problem, the Deed says they have to accept a challenge from *one* foreign yacht club. Once that challenge is accepted there's nothing to prevent challenger and defender from writing volumes of "mutual agreements" (aka the "protocols") that will govern the event. So RNZYS was able to choose which club's challenge to pull out of their pocket first, based no doubt on lengthy back-room negotiations during the days and weeks previous to the final race.

MUSIC: New York, Yacht Club
(to the tune of "New York, New York")

     Start spreadin' the news
     We're not gonna lose
     This time we've challenged from.....New York, Yacht Club!
     We get to.....make the rules
     New Yorkers.....are no fools
     It's up to us, New York, Yacht Club!
     They're sad as can be
     At SDYC
     They lost it big and now we're going to change the game
     In their old.....trophy case
     You'll just see.....DC's face
     It's our turn now, New York, Yacht Club!
     On 44th Street
     The talk has been sweet
     We really put one over on those kiwi hicks
     Is that a.....rat you smell?
     We've got a.....bridge to sell
     But you can trust, New York, Yacht Club!
     That old model room
     Saw twelve years of gloom
     There's just one empty shelf we need to brighten up
     It should be.....bolted there
     If it's bolted.....anywhere
     It's coming home, New York, Yacht Club!
     It's going to be
     One more century
     Before we ever let the auld mug go again
     Cause that's a.....cup so nice
     We'll never.....lose it twice
     It's up to us, New York, Yacht Club!
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