(to the tune of "Wasting away again in Margaritaville")

Sailing away again to Aloha-land
Everything is wet or crusty with salt
Some people claim
There's a wind shift to blame
But I know - it's the  [navigator's]       fault
                       [race committee's]
                       [PHRF committee's]
                       [watch captains's]
                       [sail trimmer's]
                       [boat yard's]
Don't know the reason
I go every season
all I get is another T-shirt
blew my vacation
in such deprivation
you wouldn't believe how a sunburn can hurt
Picked up my sextant
my knowledge was extant
bought a big book telling just what to do
took lots of star sights
on dark overcast nights
how I got here, I haven't a clue
Set the three-quarter
watch-captain's order
thought we could fly it right through the big squall
came down in pieces
blew like bejeezus
now it's the half-ounce, or nothing at all.
Signed aboard NIGHT WATCH
The crew work was top notch
bought some new sails and did everything right
but ain't it a pity
the rating committee
thinks this old cruiser is faster than light
The radio escort
left from their home port
really great chaps who came through in the crunch
the crew sounded cuter
she worked the computer
and picked up the mike when the skipper lost lunch
Boat called BODACIOUS
name is fallacious
thought they could win if they sailed way south
we'll hear the reason
for all of next season
cause one of the crew has a really big mouth.
The man with the tin boat
will always get my vote
his voice can be broadcast with so little strain
How does he do it
there ain't nothin' to it
the tin-bottom boat makes a perfect ground-plane
The problem was thorny
Billy was horny
Sting and the Carpet were so far away
he popped her the question
'mid roll-call congestion
she had to accept - what else could she say?