Now sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip.
It started from this East-Bay port,
Aboard this tiny ship.

The cook was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper, I'm not sure,
Eight crewmembers set sail that day,
It was not a deluxe tour - not a deluxe tour...

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed.
Despite the Scope and the Dramamine,
The first day's lunch was lost - the first day's lunch was lost...

The bilge pump wouldn't work at all
The batteries were dead.
But there was a brand new EPIRB,
"Switch it on" they said - "switch it on" they said.

The Coastie paramedic said,
"This case is just a fluke,
I can handle everything -
But first I have to puke - but first I have to puke."

The ship's back home in 'Frisco Bay
The skipper needs a clue,
He wants to do the race again,
Does any - one - want - to - crew?