---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bongo Beatr <oompa.loompa.local13@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 12:05 PM
Subject: Mr. Daisey and the Ira Glass Elevator
TO: Ira
Glass, THIS AMERICAN LIFE
DATE:
April 23, 2012
Hello America, it's
us!
The ones you threw
under a bus.
Last month, we sent
this unannounced -
But, it seems the
email bounced.
See below for what
we wrote.
As you know, we
cannot vote.
That's why we beat
drums and swarm
In Oompa-Loompa
Ballad Form.
Spies inform us on
May 1st
The global rage may
finally burst.
Call in sick! We
would, but hey
It's different here.
MAYDAY. MAYDAY.
Sincerely,
Oompa-Loompa
Local Union 13
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
Bongo Beatr
<oompa.loompa.local13@gmail.com>
Date:
March 16, 2012
11:23:36 AM PDT
To:
Friends,
Americans, Apple eaters!
Subject:
Mr. Daisey and
the Ira Glass Elevator
MR. DAISEY
AND THE IRA GLASS ELEVATOR
Mike Daisey, we are sad
to say,
Was sucked into the
turbine today.
We told him not to get too
close,
But c'est la
vie!
It's pretty gross.
His baggy shirt was
yanked in first,
Next the pants - man,
he cursed!
Next the body parts
were fused
Into those touchscreens
you folks use.
Just tap the screen
– simple, see? -
And upsy-downsy, there's
Mike Daisey!
The lying rat! And hey,
he's fat!
You wouldn't trust him
with your cat.
He hurts the ones he
wants to help!
Crankier than a review
on Yelp!
America sides with Ira
Glass
For sacrificing Mike
with class,
A fat lamb for the gods
of Truth
With lies extracted,
tooth by tooth;
Burnt, bound, and taped
for later,
And pushed out Ira's
elevator.
What a fall! Yet all
Mike did
Was point to things
y'all keep hid,
Storytelling –
what you call lying –
To bare the lies y'all
keep buying.
Think Different? You're all the Same!
Bite the Apple &
you cheat the Game.
Why not make iStuff
yourselves
With all those helpful
Genius elves?
Or better yet – a
Homebrew Club!
Sell 'Pods and 'Pads on
Etsy shelves!
Well, we'll tell you.
'Lone in your boots
You know we're drones
in bunny suits.
Who else sucks the
toxic soup
From clean-room
ventilation chutes?
Who else stands for 10
hours straight?
Who else sleeps at the
factory gate?
Now that Willy Wonka's
dead
It's time you faced the
Truth you dread.
Take our word, you glum
commuters:
Oompa-Loompas make
your computers.
~