A Short List of Medical Tragedies

by Sue Chow

Age 5:	Front teeth knocked loose while attempting to jump from a bar stool to the family room couch. I have the lip scar to prove it.
Age 6:	Nose bleeds for continuous 8 hours. Afterwards, I go to the hospital where I am prescribed iron supplements for anemia--my sister and I agree that these look like horse pills or maybe billiard balls. NOTE: During this time I also develop an irrational fear of tidal waves, despite the fact my family lives in Colorado Springs, the Mile High City.
Age 7:	Front teeth knocked loose for a second time while attempting to jump like a rabbit.
Age 8:	Myopia and other glasses-related traumas including nose pad bruises, visual halos, and slight dizziness/nausea.
Age 9:	Stiches required in the sole of my foot after cutting it on a sprinkler head. The anesthetic didn't work.
Age 10-13:	Onslaught of puberty. ALW'S NOTE: I have noticed that most medical tragedies have to do with a crisis of blood. In any case, I believe puberty itself is the kind of medical challenge that can result in years of subsequent trauma. Therefore, I have included this item despite Sue's objections.
Age 14:	Front teeth knocked loose for a third time in an automobile accident. Fish crackers are the last solid food I remember eating with complete confidence.