YOU'VE READ THE BASTARD LIST - NOW READ THE UNOFFICIAL FOLLOW-UP: THE BITCH LIST - A FEMALE VERSION!! BITCHES WE'VE ALL MET OR SEEN IN OUR LIFE... |
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1. Bitches who two time and lie about it. 2. Bitches who always threaten you with their boyfriend. 3. Arrogant bitches who everybody fancies and who think they're too good to talk to you. 4. Little girl bitches who fall in love with pop stars. 5. Bitches who wear too much make up. 6. Bitches who wear too much perfume. 7. Pretentious bitches who think that they're feminist when in fact they're just fourteen year olds who haven't managed to ge a boyfreind yet. 8. Bitches that have been around. 9. Bitches that talk about you behind your back. 10. Bitches that play games and leave you dangling on a string. 11. Bitches who get neurotic about eating a single Smartie for fear that it might make them fat. 12. Bitches who decide that just because they don't fancy you, they'll screw you up and make an example out of you. 13. Bitches who still aren't mature enough to deal with male attentions in an adult manner. 14. Bitches with bad breath. 15. Airhead bitches. 16. Bitches with stupid laughs. 17. Bitches with stupid voices. 18. Bitches who talk too loud. 19. Bitches who think they're too mature for everything. 20. Bitches who ask you if you're doing business. 21. Bitches who dont. 22. Rich bitches called "Charlotte" who talk down to you. 23. Butch bitches with shaven hair who think they're being different. 24. Weird bitches with no dress-sense who think they're making a statement by wearing shit clothes. 25. Indie-loving bitches who wear those striped pink and blue trouses and a bra over the front of their clothes. 26. Teacher bitches in school who lean over your desk when you're a first year, so you can look at their tits. 27. Vegitarian bitches who are by nature always miserable. 28. Adult vegitarian hippy bitches who drive minis, love cats, do yoga, practice homeopathy and have stupid hippy-like names like "Moon". 29. Bitches who don't like you for no reason. 30. Bitches who you don't like for no reason. 31. Heavy Metal bitches with long, curly blond hair who hang off the end of their boyfriends arms and listen to The Wildhearts. 32. Black bitches with loud mouths who listen to Reggae - the type that white boys dig in clubs because the sexy dancing gives them an errection when they rub against them. 33. Bitches who like saying "All men are bastards" but don't mean it. 34. Bitches who like saying "All men are bastards" but DO mean it. 35. Punk rock bitches with purple hair. 36. Grunge/L7-loving bitches who don't bath and who smell like bastard!! 37. Indie-loving bitches which everybody ends up getting off with at parties. 38. Bitches with moustaches. 39. Hairy bitches. 40. Bitches with big arses. 41. Bitches who everybody claims to have fucked. 42. Shy bitches which stare at the ground all the time (but somehow always avoid walking into lamp-posts). 43. Bitches with glasses who think they're intelligent. 44. Blond bitches who think they're beautiful. 45. Bitches who wear bright red lipstick and who look like prostitutes when they're not. 46. Bitches called "Namoi" who keep the same boyfriend for half their lives. 47. Bitches who whisper because they're too shy to use their voice. 48. Bitches who sing all the time. 49. Bitches who can't sing, but do so all the time anyway. 50. The chart-music loving bitches you always see shaking their hair around on Top Of The Pops whenever they play any songs with guitars in them because they think it's a Heavy Metal thing to do (they usually look very stupid). 51. Thirteen year old bitches who sneak into nightclubs and tell boys they're eighteen. 52. Thirteen year old bitches who don't look their age and who you get off with at nightclubs and then get a heart attack when they tell you their age. 53. Bitches who fancy your friends. 54. Your little sister's bitch friends that fancy you and giggle whenever you walk past them in school. 55. White bitches with no rhythm who looks stupid dancing in nightclubs. 56. Bitches who lead you on and then say you got the wrong end of the stick. 57. Alternative Rock-loving bitches who fancy Chris Cornell from Soundgarden. 58. Pretentious bitches who do drama. 59. Bitches who call you "Dear" in supermarkets. 60. Bitches who go around using phrases from Australian soaps. 61. Bitches who live by Australian soaps and who buy Big. 62. Bitches who buy Just Seventeen and who think they're really cool. 63. Bitches who always write letters into problem pages saying "I'm fifteen years old and my boyfriend is eighteen, he wants us to have sex, what shall I do?". 64. Hard-nosed teacher bitches in school who don't like you. 65. Bitches like Clare Rayner. 66. Bitches like Ruby Wax. 67. Bitches who are obsessed with weight. 68. Supermodel bitches. 69. Bitches who *think* they're supermodel bitches. 70. Near perfect looking bitches who pose in catalogues but who don't exist in real life. 71. Fake bitches. 72. Hung-up bitches who hate female TV/Pop stars that everyone fancies. 73. Bitches who are taller than you. 74. Those demure, brunette, muesli-eating, glasses-wearing bitches you always see in Alpen commercials. 75. Those executive bitches you always see on "Skin revitalising cream" commercials who have bright white bathrooms the size of your living room. 76. Bitches with red faces. 77. American bitches who say "Eeeeeew gross!!". 78. Vain bitches who carry cosmetics around with them. 79. Sharons. 80. Traceys. 81. Arty bitches who think they're really cultured and who go to the Theatre with "Daddy" regularly (ties in with number 22). 82. L7 83. Bitches called "Vicky" who get up your nose. 84. Bitches who ride ponies. 85. Bitches who say "I don't like computer games, they're childish". 86. Pretentious bitches who only hang around with boys. 87. Dinner lady bitches who think they're your mum. 88. Naiive bitches who you can offend really easily without trying. 89. Bitches who think everybody fancies their boyfriend. 90. Bitches who always have a problem. 91. Bitches that say "I'll think about it..." when you ask them out, but never come back to you. 92. Bitches on Neighbours. 93. Bitches on Home and Away. 94. Bitches who talk about "boys" all the time and get boring after about 2 seconds (these are usually the ones that nobody fancies). 95. Bitches who think they can beat you up. 96. Bitches who *can* beat you up. 97. Bitches who slap you in the face in public. 98. Lesbian bitches with attitude problems. 99. Librarian bitches who grunt at you. 100. Bitches who are bitches!! |