Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    <scribbled by dfowlkes Tue 3 Jul 12 10:14>
  

    
I have no colours. Or, near as I can tell, music. But I do have an
inner voice that's practically her own entity and occasionally I find
myself arguing with her--out loud. Does that count for anything? Other
than grounds for commital?

*sigh*

I also have zero knowledge of Duran Duran outside the "I liked their
Bond theme" because I was a geeky as geeks could get in the 1980s, and
didn't listen to the radio, own a cassette tape, or even records other
than some Monkees records and Danny Kaye fairy tales ones I'd gotten at
a block sale. Had I been a boy, I think I would have had the crap
kicked out of me in school for being as much of a nerd (down to the
glasses and perm I really, really, reall should never have gotten, tho
not, alas, the good grades) as I was. As I was a girl, I mostly got the
mental cruelty end of the stick. Today, of course, I am stunningly
beautiful, impossibly rich, and fantastically successful and thumb my
nose at those utter losers. Hey, why are these gusy in white coats
here? 

I would also never pay $1500 for a book, but I am not a collector. I
am a reader. Diff animals. I don't own things so I can enclsoe them in
a glass case and say "Look what I own!" Lately, I think I own things so
I can shove them at other people and say "You have to
read/watch/listen to this, because it will bring you joy!"

However, on the topic of sludge happily ingested by expatriots, my
father spreads Marmite (and Vegemite when he can't find Marmite) on his
toast. I personally have never understood the appeal. But then, he
looks askance at apple butter. I think it's one of those things where,
if you were raised on it, you don't think it's as disgusting as other
people find it. Other bizarre UK staples that may fall into this
category would probably be black and white pudding (which I adore,
which grosses almost everyone I know out), or sardines with their heads
still on (which I can't stand, but the pater loves).  I can't think of
anything equivalent stateside, but grits fall into this category for
me ("why would anyone ever think to do that to corn?" being my general
reaction to Hominy). I don't get grits. I really don't. I get oatmeal.
Oatmeal I'm fine with. No issues there.

My beloved backflip boy does horrific things to tea (he ends up with
very sweet, vaguely tea flavoured milk) despite my pleadings and
wailings and gnashing of teeth. I think he just eats way way way too
much sugar in general, while sickly-sweet things make me ill, with the
strange exception of any pastry involving copious amounts of honey. I
could eat bamieh until the cows come home, but butter cream icing turns
my stomach. Go fig. 

On the "my life is surreal" end of the scale, the backflip boy and I
got a death threat this week over email. On the list of things I kinda
hoped I'd never check off "First death threat" was not one I was
looking forward to, tho I admit the next one I *am* looking forward to
marking off is "hunt down stalker, blind, brand, and sell into white
slavery in a Thai brothel." 

And before anyone asks, yes, we are reporting it to the police. 

We figure since they a) found the backflip boy's address [which,
unlike mine, is not public knowledge] and b) refered to me by name
mainly to try to scare the heck outta him, think it's someone who hangs
out on the Bristol Faire message board. That's the working theory. And
the dead guy they found abandonned up at the show a few weeks back
probably put the idea in her or his head. 
  

    
Squeaks: Well, the numbness is a trade-off.  I have a tendency to
leave the car windows down until I can't feel my face.  But it's worth
it.

DanGuy: I LOVED your violin lesson story!  How utterly fabulous.  I'm
glad that you did eventually get the written part of music, too,
though.

Tara: I'm not a collector either.  All my things look lived with.  And
YIKES! on your death threat.  I'm glad you're reporting it.  
  

    
I have seen Marmite in Neil's kitchen but I have not tasted it ever.  I feel
he must only have had it for sentimental reasons.
  

    
    Tara -- I suspect that there are a good number of foods that expat
Amaericans miss, but they are mostly highly individual tastes -- say,
someone who grew up with Hormel canned chili and finds the stuff they
make in actual chili-cooking countries (Texas doesn't count) Just Ain't
Right Somehow.
     A reason for this, of course, is that any statistically
significant group of expatriate Americans will be provided with
whatever US comfort foods they want, either through specialty shipments
(to, say, a community of oil-company employees in Saudi Arabia) or, in
more developed regions, by the company setting up a local plant to
make Original Wheeze-O-Lated Hydrogenated Lard Goblin-Goodies(tm) in
both milk and dark simulated chocolate-like flavors.  (Sometimes they
buy out and retool the world's last supplier of Took's Shire-Baked(tm)
Egg & Bacon Waybread Bikkies, but that's another story.)
      I can recall overhearing some US tourists in the UK being deeply
outraged by Milky Way bars, in the years before M&M/Mars merged with
Cadbury and unified the branding (for those who weren't there, the
UK/Cadbury "Milky Way" was a different candy back then).
      The merger does mean that most Cadbury candies are now available
in the US . . . except for Old Jamaica, which is the only one I really
care about. . . .
  

    
Old Jamaica?  what a name, it evokes all sorts of ideas about what it
might taste like.  

Dan Guy, with that training, i would LOVE to hear how you play violin.
  

    
I have nothing constructive to ask, I just couldn't in all honesty
help myself from pseuding this.
  

    
    Cadbury's Old Jamaica is a part milk-part dark chocolate bar with
rum raisins.  I've been told that there's some actual rum in there,
which is why they can't be imported, but I don't know, and I don't have
a label handy.  I've been smuggling them back from the UK for years,
which I guess is an appropriate thing for something called "Old
Jamaica" with a vaguely piratical/nautical label.
     Been reading Henry Mayhew again under the pretext of research,
and am amused by the comments of the [Victorian] London street-vendors
that many of the goods they sell are claimed, or hinted, to be
smuggled, and therefore a great "fell off the back of a haywain"
bargain, but aren't either.
  

    
Dan--somehow I respect that sort of learning over the 'drilled on
scales until your ears bleed' sort. Is that wrong of me?

Tara--I used to drink my tea the same way until three weeks in China
broke me of the habit (no milk or sugar.)

For a while it was black tea so strong you could stand your spoon up
in it, but I've regressed to a splash of milk just so I can watch it
swirl.

Earl Grey. Twinings. No, no other sort will do.

Mike--there is a little shop near home called USA Foods that has been
keeping ex-pat Americans happy in Melbourne, Australia for quite a few
years now. I believe that you have to place orders around Thanksgiving
for pumpkin pie filling because they sell out so quickly (we celebrate
neither Thanksgiving or pumpkin pie down under.)

I have sampled Marmite and prefer Vegemite. The secret is making sure
that whatever you spread it on, there is lots and lots of butter
involved. Hot toast, loads of butter and little dabs of 'mite of your
choice smeared in the melty butter. I'm drooling even as we type...
(ewww, wet keyboard!)

It is also the hangover cure of the gods. All that vitamin B makes
your liver love you again.

Tree
Who has rounded off many a big night with two slices of vege toast,
two painkillers and two glasses of water.
  

    
Mike -- as far as I know, a UK Mars Bar is still a US Milky Way and
vice versa.  And did I tell you about the Robert Capa exhibition in
Trieste?

And Mayhew isn't research, Mayhew is joy...

Jade -- marmite is wonderful stuff, but I suspect you need Marmite
receptors to get it properly (I'm happy to accept the 'age of 3' line).
I cook with Marmite quite happily in soups and stews and such, and
no-one ever grumbles. Also when it says "spread thinly" on the front of
the bottle, they mean it -- Americans have a tendency to slather it
on, as if it were jam or peanut butter and then to collapse in pain. 

I wonder about Twiglets -- marmite flavoured sort of not exactly
knobbly breadsticks... I suppose they don't have them in the US do
they?

martha -- next time you're here (World Fantasy 2002?) I'll feed you
some Marmite. I know how much you like trying strange new and
interesting foods, after all. (What does Jon Singer think of Marmite?)

Tara -- yipes.

Dan Guy -- how unutterably cool.
  

    
Tree -- exactly -- there's a
http://www.britishimports.com/cgi-bin/hazel.cgi?action=serve&item=teacompanies
.htm
which is where I buy tea.
  

    
    Neil -- I had a recollection that the combined companies had
changed the name of the candy bars in the UK, but I could well be
wrong.  It's not like I'm supposed to eat much of the stuff in the
first place, and when I do I stay with things that are better/unique to
Over There.
    I've never seen Twiglets over here.  (I do recall them as an
obsessive running reference on the UK version of WHOSE LINE IS IT
ANYWAY?)  Nabisco makes a bacillus-shaped cracker called Twigs, which I
like, especially to dredge through hummus, but they're not remotely
the same thing.
     If we're lucky, Singer will be at Minicon.  If I can find out,
maybe we should do a "Marmite and Other Alien Foodstuffs" panel.
     Suddenly I'm thinking of some bottled water I got in Leningrad
(where the tap water is full of -Giardia Lamblia-).  It was apparently
a nutritional supplement for the bacteria that live near deep-sea
thermal vents -- an amazing amount of sulfur and iron.  After that it
was Schweppes and Pepsi (un, not together).
    
  

    
*shakes head*
Marmite isn't alien food, marmite is what's left over after they tar
the roads,...

*innocent look*

"by a guy with it who didn't realize that not everyone saw
words in different colours for years and years."

Heh,... Mars and I had a fascinating conversation months ago, where I
finally realised I thought differently than him. Words are colours and
textures and emotions and all sorts of things in my head - I don't
think in any sort of logical progression. Colour infuses everything
(Mondays are a dark blue, Tuesdays are orangey yellow, Wednesday is
purple, Thursday is crimson red, Friday is black, Saturday is kelly
green, and Sunday is golden yellow). Texture is very important, too.
The word green, for example, is very fuzzy.

But beyond that, I have impressions that get,... *frowns* "translated"
into words. "Oh, that soft downy velvet purple raggedly circular
flattened shape, that means love,..." It makes it difficult, sometimes,
when people try to pin me down one what I mean - I feel like I'm
translating from one language (my native) into another (English). It
also makes it difficult to listen to other people, because the words
trigger such vividness in my head - it's hard to remove what I think
they mean from what they really mean.

It's only with words and numbers, tho - not instrumental music, I
don't taste things, etc. (Oddly, it took me a long time to appreciate
instrumental music; without the word-works in my head, the music seemed
dull and boring.)

I'm not sure it's actually synesthesia, but it's apparently not
normal.   :-)
-Kelly
  

    
I've had vegemite, and liked it. Never tried Marmite.
I seem to be rather un-american in a lot of my food tastes.
(Did anyone else see the thing about how McDonald's bought the rights
to use Asterix in advertising to help push McDonalds' burgers in France?
Eeeevil.  They should be using stupid McDonalds fictional characters, not
fictional characters I *like*.
)

Mike, I want some of those Old Jamaica things.  They sound quite worth
smuggling.   Raisins and chocolate are a wonderful thing.  I also want to
get another several bars of the variety of German Milka brand chocolate that
I got on a plane last summer - milk chocolate with slightly crystallized
*honey* filling.  It. Was. Good.  (In fact, I'm imagining that with raisins,
possibly rum soaked, and I'm thinking that it's a good thing that they don't
just magically make all of the kinds of candies  I dream up or I would be
one unhappy sugar-crashed person...)
  

    
You do know exactly how much I like trying new foodstuffs, Neil.  And yet
you still expect to get Marmite down me.

Well, maybe.  I'm willing to taste things I don't have to finish--
  

    
Martha - If you'd like I'll pick up some Marmite for you next time I'm
at the Australian Store and you can build up a tolerance for it so
that when Neil offers it you might not grimace. ;)

Mike - Part of me is thinking that Old Jamaica sounds good. The other
part is remembering that I can't really have rum and I don't really
like chocolate... but the raisins sound nice. Dangit, now I want
raisins.

Tree & Neil - And at dinner today I was telling my mother that we
occasionally get on the subject of great tea websites here. Apparently
she found one that sends samples and offers impressive discounts. I'll
try to remind her to send me a link, as she's got me curious now.

squeaks, who knows she's in trouble when the little nocturnal beasties
are asleep before she is...

oooh, and who also opted not to pay the car off (would rather allow
for things like conventions and the occasional short road trip this
year... and the new camera I got today!)
  

    
Tara - I've gotten more death threats (bomb threats, firehouse
threats) than you can imagine. And people wonder why I no longer
publish my photo with my opinion columns. Good move notifying the cops.
You may also want to forward the e-mail on to your internet service
provider, and the sender's as well. Keep a copy for yourself and move
on. It's the only way to cope with psychos.

Mike - Old Jamaica sounds absolutely yummy. Years ago, Ovaltine used
to make candy bars. Kind of a mixture of Whoppers and Nestle Crunches.
Tasty.

Tea lovers: You can get free samples of tea at the following sites:

http://www.scripturetea.com/pages/free_samples.asp
http://www.topqualitea.com/english/gratis_e.html
http://www.redtopcrane.com/consumersurvey.html

Jade Walker
--who's willing to try anything once, even Marmite
  

    <scribbled by dfowlkes Tue 3 Jul 12 10:14>
  

    
Dan - that's a fabulous story about learning styles. I'm going to be
sharing that with some of my colleagues... thank you! (My organization
trains Principals and Superintendents and is *very* interested in
issues around different learning styles)

Tara - Sweet Shiva, that's creepy. Hope this gets resolved quickly and
cleanly.
  

    
On the subject of tea: One of my co-workers gave me a catalogue for a
company called Stash Tea (http:///www.stashtea.com) but I still have a
TON of Barry's loose tea left from the Great Dunnes Stores Shopping
Binge of 2001 and at the rate I'm currently drinking tea (2 pots a
week) it'll be 2003 before I'll give in and buy more.

Neil: yikes, indeed. But I am doing much better today. yay. 

Jade: eep! I am so glad you're alive :) 

Mike: I had an Irish friend in Illinois about 10 years ago who was
much pleased to the know about the whole Mars Bar/Milky Way bar thing,
so she just started buying the one that's the other over There over
Here. I have a thing about Coffee Crisp bars, and eat way way way too
many of them whenever I go to Toronto. And liquorice all-sorts. I like
the plain liquorice ones best--which grosses out my friends who think
liquorice should be red and taste like red. 

Also, *hugs* just 'cuase I'm in a huggy-mood, and you always make me
smile and giggle and occasionally pass liquid through my nose if I'm
stupid enough to have a beverage while reading your posts.

Musical Dan: Woo! I am ultra, ultra jealous. I took piano lessons for
10 years and never got past intermediate level (I look down at my
hands. Can't touch type either. Bad, bad me) and classical guitar for a
year, and just never developed the passion for playing an instrument.
I love to sing, tho--and much easier for me to deal with, despite the
fact that I can only barely at the best of times read music. My friend
Fred plays violin and viola, tho currently he is shunning the Boston
Music Community and working as the manager of the FAO Schwatrz in
Harvard Square, I believe. However, my friend Fiddler Sarah, the
so-talented-she's-scary, just moved there to start university and I
believe she's mostly busking (mainly 'cause she can make $50 on a lunch
hour in the train stations, much better money than trying to get a
part time job on campus). I think fiddlers are extra happy.

Acting Dan: Backflip Boy reported to the cops today--tho the Twin
Lakes, WI police force were apparently flummoxed by the fact that it
was threatening *email* and he had to explain several times to them
what all that meant. But I shall no doubt sleep better tonight know
it's on record, and that Hotmail is tracing the email as well. yay.
Tho, of course, if any of you have any recommendations of particularly
nasty Thai brothels, that would be tres useful!
  

    
FAO Schwarz in Harvard Square?  Am I behind the times, or is uisgejack not
from boston and misremembering where her friend Fred works?
  

    
miss-mousey, why ever would I want to do that?  Eat something I don't like
just to build up a tolerance?
  

    
Just got messaged about a particularly interesting article at
Yahoo!...
http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/20020125/en/comic_book_suit_1.html
Go Neil!
  

    
It's entirely possible that it's not in Harvard Square--but that it
*is* in Boston, and I am completely mis-remembering, which happens a
LOT.
  

    
I played the cello. It was a lot of fun. I started when I entered
elementary school and stopped when I moved on to high school. I wish
I'd kept it up. I wished many times that I'd learned violin, like my
oldest sister or viola, like my younger sister instead because now that
I think about buying one and trying to relearn it, it'd be so much
cheaper to get one of those than the cello! Maybe I'll by a violin and
learn it anyway. 

I did sing in a choir with almost 200 people in it for 7 yeras. We
were required to memorize the songs as we didn't usually carry the
music out to the chapel with us. We also used to put on a really big
Christmas Pageant (at one time it was televised all over the country)
and the choir would swell to 400 and a whole bunch of people doing
props etc. I discovered that I could pick up the words (and music) to a
new song just by watching my choir director because he'd mouth the
proper words while he directed. I never forgot a song and can still,
after 5 years of being out of it. Sing along to the Muzak in the stores
during Christmas.