Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    

Dalling Thaisa--

I don't think I would actually read in a paper mill town.  Are you sure
there is in fact a paper mill town in Lewiston, PA?  Because I think that's
right near Tyrone, PA, where there is definitely a papermill and where I
lived for a few months until my husband and I were driven out by people
throwing things at our house and yelling "HIPPIE GO HOME!"  So I definitely
would NOT read in Tyrone, anyway.

Here's where I really like to read:

Austin, Texas.  I love the smell of Austin, Texas.

<< one thing that struck me about your book is that the humor
  never seems forced. it's just funny. so I wondered if you
  knew, as you wrote, that something was funny, or discovered
  it afterwards, or were, in some way, surprised about it in the
  process of writing--or were trying to be funny.  I suppose I'm
  talking about the differenc between making a big huge artistic
  effort, which often is strained, or finding the voice that just
  says it.
>>

I don't know!  I can be really depressed and still my writing comes out
funny.  In fact, I *am* really depressed and yet I write funnily I think.  I
think this is an enormous gift and I don't want to look too closely at it.

My big problem is (leroy this is for you too) that I can only write about
what I want to write about.  I can do profiles fine, but any "think pieces"
I write have to be exactly what I'm actually thinking or they totally suck.

Does this make sense?
  

    
hmm, the original -book- 'sex in the city' had a chilly nastiness ms
heimel's stuff has never had, all about money/power/lust/status,
more pere goriot/a het-femme jean genet sort of thing than the warm/funny/
wry thing we have here. the tv show --- well, tv steals all from everyone,
so...
  

    

mikey is such an exceptional dog!

cynthia dalling,   do you have any plans to write an all i know about life
i've learned from my dogs book or anything like that?  doc esp is a fountain
of information.
  

    

Neil--

You bring up a good point.  Clarence prevails.  He probably killed psmith
and fed him to the empress.  I think Wodehouse knew that Clarence was a
keeper whereas psmith is a mere flash in a mere pan.
  

    

david gans dear:  a reproachful martini is still a reproachful martini.
I suppose it could be a reproachful margarita but why?

Oh ccarol ccantor I forgot to say:  Do not under pain of death call me a
"sexpert" ever, ever again.  I know where you live.
  

    

acronychal-8:  It is so nice that you love me since I love to be loved more
than even anything.

I think I do get credit for starting the whole genre.  Or at least I do now
that my publicist send out a press release screaming  "SHE STARTED IT ALL!
WITHOUT HEIMEL THERE WOULD BE NO SEX AND THE CITY!"

And yes, SATC has stolen from me wholesale, and I try to think of it as
flattery.
  

    

Loris, what is pere goriot/a het-femme?

techgirl:  funnily enough, I am writing a dog book next!  But I cannot call
it "All I know about Life I've learned from Dogs, because Miss Merrill
Markoe, my good pal, has already written "what the dogs have taught me",
dammit.
  

    
Perhaps Doc Speaks.
  

    


why yes!
  

    
pere goriot is of course that great cynical 'that's life in the big city'
19th century novel about paris. and 'het femme' referred to taking
the creepy worldview of genet, but making it het and female,
rather than homo and male, as in the original. sorry, sometimes
the martian-to-english protocol converter breaks down...
  

    


 cynthia-dahling--

 of course I meant Tyrone, and I am so glad you wouldn't read in it

 how right you are not to think about how it happens. indeed this is
 the answer, I feel.

 and how right you are not to be a sexpert.
  

    

>"SHE STARTED IT ALL!
 WITHOUT HEIMEL THERE WOULD BE NO SEX AND THE CITY!"<

I, of course, read that as, "Without Heimel there would be
no sex in the city."
  

    

dalling, does all this touring, adulation, rave review stuff ever go to your
head? I mean, do you ever come home to the Terrible Shrine of Dalling and
Dalling and feel that you are slightly too fabulous for domesticity?
  

    


Dalling, being out there on the road makes me yearn for the coziness of
domesticity and making lovely cups of tea and darning your socks.  It makes
me yearn for the dogs.

But it is true that I may too fabulous at the moment.  A couple of days ago
someone told me that the obsession chapter in sex tips for girls is the best
thing EVER WRITTEN.  Ever! she reiterated.  This has totally gone to my
head.
  

    

dalling you must struggle against this excessive fabulousness. You should
tell yourself that although you are a national treasure and a legend, you
have never darned a sock and barring an apocalyptic event that would deprive
us of TJ Maxx you never will darn a sock. I suggest that you reflect thus
and remind yourself sometimes that even though you can write a sentence like
Thurber you cannot darn a sock. It is only a suggestion dalling. Where do
you get your ideas?
  

    

you see how you are dalling.  You're telling me not to let it go to my head
and then you call me a "national treasure" and a "legend."  You are giving
me mixed messages.

Plus I think you have boundary issues.  You didn't have to tell the truth
about the socks.  You could have lied.  It makes a good story.

Speaking of boundary issues, I have an excellent chapter about Boundary
issues in my new book.  You know I have a book out?

I will absolutely not answer any questions whatsoever about where I get my
ideas.
  

    
Where do you get one of your ideas?
  

    

I get my ideas from the breezes.  From the light at dawn.  From that small
patch of white hair on a black dog's chest.  From the stars, which are God's
daisy chain.  From the depth of the sea and the height of the universe do my
ideas come.

kayo.
  

    

thaisa what's new?  Also did I actually tell you about tyrone?
  

    

Cynthia, what is your favorite color? And why?
  

    

dyche, I'm so glad you asked that question.  It is just the depth I like.

I like a pale creamy yellow for walls.
I like a delicate celadon blue for pottery.

but mainly I like black black black to wear wear wear.
  

    

> A couple of days ago
>  someone told me that the obsession chapter in sex tips for girls is the 
best
>  thing EVER WRITTEN.  Ever! she reiterated.  This has totally gone to my
>  head.

Risking my friendship with Cynthia, I must dissent. First is War and 
Peace. Then the Great Gatsby. *Third* is the obsession chapter in sex 
tips. 

Feelings are feelings, but I have my integrity to think of. 
  

    

Wow Andy, that's so nice of you to put me above the works of Wm Shakespeare.
 I hardly know what to say.
  

    

do not anger the gods, andy!

cynthia, do you not learn things from a tweed dogs face?
  

    

it is true that dorothy has the most wonderful harris tweedy face and I do
in fact learn everything about bravery from her.  Love Dorothy so.