Inkwell: Authors and Artists
Topic 141: Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #76 of 260: pointy, but rarely undeservedly savage (vard) Tue 26 Feb 02 22:29
permalink #76 of 260: pointy, but rarely undeservedly savage (vard) Tue 26 Feb 02 22:29
Cynthia, does Dorothy still hate me? She snarled at me and even when you hugged me she looked at me as if to say, "You can't fool THIS rottweiler."
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #77 of 260: David S. Greene (dsg) Wed 27 Feb 02 08:18
permalink #77 of 260: David S. Greene (dsg) Wed 27 Feb 02 08:18
Plum, how come you have carefully answered every question except MINE? When do the boys get a book? Don't we deserve tips, too?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #78 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Wed 27 Feb 02 12:08
permalink #78 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Wed 27 Feb 02 12:08
But the complimentary book would have to be written by a boy. So get busy.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #79 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 12:14
permalink #79 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 12:14
Oooh. I'd like to write that. So far I think I can sum it all up in three words, including a conjunction. And what good is a book about sex without some conjoining?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #80 of 260: i am not a happy meal. (techgirl) Wed 27 Feb 02 13:19
permalink #80 of 260: i am not a happy meal. (techgirl) Wed 27 Feb 02 13:19
andy, you frighten me.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #81 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 13:24
permalink #81 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 13:24
Oops. that was the wrong response.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #82 of 260: pointy, but rarely undeservedly savage (vard) Wed 27 Feb 02 13:59
permalink #82 of 260: pointy, but rarely undeservedly savage (vard) Wed 27 Feb 02 13:59
"Dude, where's my clit?"
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #83 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 14:18
permalink #83 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 14:18
Getting warmer.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #84 of 260: "First you steal a bicycle...." (rik) Wed 27 Feb 02 14:28
permalink #84 of 260: "First you steal a bicycle...." (rik) Wed 27 Feb 02 14:28
The question was "Where?", not "What's it doing?"
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #85 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:18
permalink #85 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:18
okay so here I am at a hotel room in Chicago. I am on my lovely internet tv. It is really annoying. Can't download telnet. Cannot really type. On a positive note, I am eating a cobb salad. vardley dorothy doesn't hate you. dsg bradburn wil write sex tips for boys. and maybe sex tips for goys. damn is this keyboard irritating. Does anybody read me?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #86 of 260: "First you steal a bicycle...." (rik) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:19
permalink #86 of 260: "First you steal a bicycle...." (rik) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:19
Roger and wilco.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #87 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:20
permalink #87 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:20
okay so here I am at a hotel room in Chicago. I am on my lovely internet tv. It is really annoying. Can't download telnet. Cannot really type. On a positive note, I am eating a cobb salad. vardley dorothy doesn't hate you. dsg bradburn wil write sex tips for boys. and maybe sex tips for goys. damn is this keyboard irritating. Does anybody read me?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #88 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:45
permalink #88 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:45
rik! get me dalling! I want my dalling! did I post twice?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #89 of 260: Mim (mim) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:49
permalink #89 of 260: Mim (mim) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:49
Those web TVs are making you redundant!
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #90 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:59
permalink #90 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 15:59
mim! I'm freaking out! I've changed time zones! I've been on this big airplane! These are not good things. In an hour I must be all charming and jolly. Chicago people! Comes to BARBARA"S BOOKS ON WELL STREET ICANNOT GET THE CAPS TO UNLOCK DAMMIT!
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #91 of 260: Mim (mim) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:06
permalink #91 of 260: Mim (mim) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:06
calm down, luvvie! Go down to the hotel gift shoppe and buy some overpriced chocolate RIGHT NOW!
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #92 of 260: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:13
permalink #92 of 260: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:13
And then go wow the assembled multitudes and report back!
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #93 of 260: (fom) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:17
permalink #93 of 260: (fom) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:17
Cobb salad is one of the good things to eat in Chicago. What hotel are you staying at?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #94 of 260: Bradburn Young (bradburn) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:22
permalink #94 of 260: Bradburn Young (bradburn) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:22
You don't have to answer that, dalling.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #95 of 260: (fom) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:33
permalink #95 of 260: (fom) Wed 27 Feb 02 16:33
Dammit! bradburn you are thwarting my stalking plans!
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #96 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 17:02
permalink #96 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Wed 27 Feb 02 17:02
fommeh, you may not stalk me. well, you may, but others may not and this is world readable. I have not yet availed myself of the overly expensive chocolates but yes I was getting bit hysterical. Now I am all calm calm calm as I go to Barbara's books. There could be 2 people there. there could be 100.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #97 of 260: pointy, but rarely undeservedly savage (vard) Wed 27 Feb 02 17:17
permalink #97 of 260: pointy, but rarely undeservedly savage (vard) Wed 27 Feb 02 17:17
There will be a big crowd and they will howl with joy listening to you, and then they will buy a buttload of books. Now: a serious question: Cynthia, what made you so brave? I mean, your little bio up there scares me to death. I would have never had the nerve to do 90% of the things you've done (not to mention the guys you've done). So ... what's the secret?
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #98 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 18:52
permalink #98 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Wed 27 Feb 02 18:52
Oh, I know the answer to that one: Drugs.
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #99 of 260: heyo it's (kayo) Wed 27 Feb 02 18:55
permalink #99 of 260: heyo it's (kayo) Wed 27 Feb 02 18:55
Hey, saiyuk, who's being interviewed here?! Give a guy a papillon and he thinks he rules the world...
inkwell.vue.141
:
Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #100 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Thu 28 Feb 02 00:37
permalink #100 of 260: excessively heterosexual (saiyuk) Thu 28 Feb 02 00:37
1. Well, somebody's got to do the heavy lifting while Cynthia's in some godforsaken hellhole of a hotel in the fucking Midwest without benefit of true internet access. 2. I'm authorized: she made me her "powerful attorney." 3. Mikey is the Bestest and Handsomest Dog in All the World, and therefore I must be special. 4. There is no Cynthia Heimel: she is the creation of the Famous Humorists' School of Bridgeport, Connecticut, and it takes conferences among Dave Barry, Fran Lebowitz, Ian Frazier, Mark O'Donnell, and a medium channelling Sidney Perelman to produce her stuff. 5. Now that I've told you that, I'll have to kill you. All of you.
Members: Enter the conference to participate. All posts made in this conference are world-readable.