Inkwell: Authors and Artists
Topic 141: Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #176 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Fri 8 Mar 02 15:40
permalink #176 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Fri 8 Mar 02 15:40
bradburn -- I have been lucky. I have experienced lots of literary glory. Like when I decided to be a writer and got a job in paste up at the Soho Weekly News in NYC. Then I took a huge giant step and asked the editor if I could write about the Anarchist's Convention, which I thought was a very amusing concept. The time while I waited for him to read it was more painful than going to the dentist. I went out for a walk. Then another walk. Finally I came back in and he shouted my name and made a thumbs up gesture. That could have been the happiest moment of my life. But the biggest glory I had was when I had a successful play off broadway in the American Place THeater. The NY times did three articles about me in the space of a week, I think. They called me, among other fabulous things, an avatar. So let me ask you people this: I had a madly successful play which is still playing all around the country. It was really the most fun thing I've ever done. Why haven't I written another play. Tell me the answer and you'll save me a lot in shrink bills.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #177 of 260: David Gans (tnf) Fri 8 Mar 02 18:57
permalink #177 of 260: David Gans (tnf) Fri 8 Mar 02 18:57
The Cynthia Heimel-Jon Carroll radio show is alonin (in MP3 format) at http://www.trufun.com/plum-jrc
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #178 of 260: Fawn Fitter (fsquared) Fri 8 Mar 02 20:00
permalink #178 of 260: Fawn Fitter (fsquared) Fri 8 Mar 02 20:00
I am listening to it RIGHT NOW.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #179 of 260: David S. Greene (dsg) Sat 9 Mar 02 09:09
permalink #179 of 260: David S. Greene (dsg) Sat 9 Mar 02 09:09
Me too!
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #180 of 260: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Sat 9 Mar 02 09:29
permalink #180 of 260: Mary Eisenhart (marye) Sat 9 Mar 02 09:29
So Cynthia. If you could write a book about anything you wanted, and get paid fabulously for it, what would it be about?
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #181 of 260: all booms are sonic (gjk) Sat 9 Mar 02 10:29
permalink #181 of 260: all booms are sonic (gjk) Sat 9 Mar 02 10:29
Mutually Assured Destruction? No, seriously, my guess it would be a totally-straight how-to on socializing feral and abandoned domesticated dogs. But that's just a guess -- she knows the subject and has the experience, but it's still just a guess.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #182 of 260: the invetned stiff is dumb (bbraasch) Sat 9 Mar 02 10:47
permalink #182 of 260: the invetned stiff is dumb (bbraasch) Sat 9 Mar 02 10:47
I've been paying a lot more attention to my dog Zoe's fits of madness since reading this book. Sometimes I wonder what Zoe is wondering about me as we gaze into each other's eyes. She's probably wondering if she's earned enough attaboys to get away with eating all the morning bacon while we're busy making toast.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #183 of 260: Anyone here a real writer? (lisa) Sat 9 Mar 02 12:18
permalink #183 of 260: Anyone here a real writer? (lisa) Sat 9 Mar 02 12:18
Nobody has ever earned enough attaboys to eat all the bacon.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #184 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Sat 9 Mar 02 13:42
permalink #184 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Sat 9 Mar 02 13:42
True, but dogs are all about hopefulness.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #185 of 260: Mim (mim) Sat 9 Mar 02 14:10
permalink #185 of 260: Mim (mim) Sat 9 Mar 02 14:10
OK, I am reading and enjoying this book (FINALLY! I bought it a few weeks ago but just now had a chance to open and read random amusing chapters, Love love love it all, esp. Problem Lady...) Which leads to my question (and mayebe this is one of those dn't ask don't tell things, BUT... Whence Problem lady letters? Were these real letters sent back in the day to PL? Has PL been writing a column all along somewhere that i didn't know about? Or were you, Cynthia, simply cahnneling for the people out in the world who _would have_ asked PL these questions had they had an address to write to?
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #186 of 260: just some misplaced Joan of Arc (strega) Sat 9 Mar 02 18:47
permalink #186 of 260: just some misplaced Joan of Arc (strega) Sat 9 Mar 02 18:47
See above for much discussion of PL and her seekrits. I just got my copy, and finished it right up. I didn't know there was so much glorious PL in it. And I died when I read the hobag manifesto, what do you MEAN you ddidn't read from it except in New York, it's very evil and very true and way too funny.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #187 of 260: Gerard Van der Leun (boswell) Mon 11 Mar 02 12:54
permalink #187 of 260: Gerard Van der Leun (boswell) Mon 11 Mar 02 12:54
> So let me ask you people this: I had a madly successful play which is still playing all around the country. It was really the most fun thing I've ever done. Why haven't I written another play. Tell me the answer and you'll save me a lot in shrink bills.< It is simplicity itself, plum. You must start by admitting to yourself that, even with a talent such as yours, God only gives you so many words a day that you can write. Next, you need to understand -- as I am sure you have twigged to yourself -- that writers only love one thing better than writing and that is procrastination (AKA "The Not Writing") since this can give them double pain Not Writing and Fretting About Not Writing. Under normal conditions, procrastination is difficult to carry off long term although some writers have been known to do it under the influences of a steady paycheck, a trust fund, or drugs and alcohol. These all have their downside. However, you have managed to discover a way around all these things and still manage The Not Writing. This is, to wit, a highly abused Well account. Indeed, in one conference alone, you have written many hundreds of thousands of words during its life. I'd have to run a word count again for a precise number but it is significant. Hence, many books have been leaked into the Well -- which being a fluid place simply absorbs them and waits patiently for more. I'm not sure how many plays one can write with a few hundred thousand words, but it must be more than one. I know full well that writers have many obsessions and blocks to deal with. One of my old writers just came out with his first book in 19 years. It was, I suppose, worth it to spend 19 years on a history of the Union Pacific Railroad, but I shudder to think how long it would have taken him if he had a Well account. So the answer is, quite frankly, that you must quit casting your pearls in front of this audience and instead cast them in front of a theatrical audience.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #188 of 260: Gail Williams (gail) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:01
permalink #188 of 260: Gail Williams (gail) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:01
True for some folks sometimes, Gerard. Not always. People have written books and plays while also holding forth on The WELL... and while having other conversations in their lives. Talking to a friend on the phone is not a writing substitute. Using the WELL for text-talking doesn't have to deplete the writing-banks, it appears.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #189 of 260: just some misplaced Joan of Arc (strega) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:03
permalink #189 of 260: just some misplaced Joan of Arc (strega) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:03
Oh poo she didn't write another play for years even before she got a WELL account. And she did manage the latest book even with a WELL account. Plus, look at how many dogs she's been able to palm off on her WELL friends, and then there are the fosters. Nope. Plum you gotta stay.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #190 of 260: just some misplaced Joan of Arc (strega) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:04
permalink #190 of 260: just some misplaced Joan of Arc (strega) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:04
slipt by gail
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #191 of 260: Linda Castellani (castle) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:13
permalink #191 of 260: Linda Castellani (castle) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:13
So, if I understand boswell correctly, plum you HAVE written the play, it's just a matter of using the WELL's extract command to find it! Also, let me say that the last two weeks have sped by so quickly, I can't believe that this discussion is officially over. We thank you for joining us and for hanging out with us even while jetting all over the country doing talks and booksignings!
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #192 of 260: Gail Williams (gail) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:17
permalink #192 of 260: Gail Williams (gail) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:17
plum, let's produce a reading of your posts. a crazy collage, mebbe add some music and multi-media images, some dog tricks. Make the WELL spit it back for the people. Why the hell not, you know?
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #193 of 260: Gerard Van der Leun (boswell) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:19
permalink #193 of 260: Gerard Van der Leun (boswell) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:19
Castle is correct. Indeed, I'm formating my extract copy right now in order to help her out. I did give her this hint before, but she chose umbrage instead of umbrella.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #194 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:37
permalink #194 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Mon 11 Mar 02 13:37
Online writing is conversation, not composition.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #195 of 260: Gerard Van der Leun (boswell) Mon 11 Mar 02 14:38
permalink #195 of 260: Gerard Van der Leun (boswell) Mon 11 Mar 02 14:38
I repeat: You only get so many words per day be it keyboard conversation or keyboard compilation. How you use them is up to you.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #196 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Mon 11 Mar 02 14:46
permalink #196 of 260: Martha Soukup (soukup) Mon 11 Mar 02 14:46
Might be how it works for you, but for me, typing online is like talking, so it would be like saying that more talking means less writing. Which might itself be true for some people for all I know.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #197 of 260: Dr. Leda Horticulture (leroy) Mon 11 Mar 02 15:56
permalink #197 of 260: Dr. Leda Horticulture (leroy) Mon 11 Mar 02 15:56
I know in my early years on the Well, writing here every day was a great exercise. It was a way to "find my voice," get instant feedback, get inside a potential audience's head, develop fast writing reflexes, be drawn into subjects I'd never given much thought before, etc. But more recently I believe that what boswell says is the sad and sorry truth. Writing here gets it out of my system, it shoots my wad. So I don't much any more, except an occasional weather report or some other little exercise that's like stretching to warm up for the real thing. Or, to keep the metaphor straight, just a little foreplay. And I might add it makes me kind of sad to see boswell shooting his wad all over the Well, instead of writing whatever it is he could and should be writing. Go write the play, plum. The world needs it!
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #198 of 260: Andy Klein (saiyuk) Mon 11 Mar 02 17:42
permalink #198 of 260: Andy Klein (saiyuk) Mon 11 Mar 02 17:42
<scribbled by saiyuk Mon 11 Mar 02 17:51>
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #199 of 260: Mike Godwin (mnemonic) Mon 11 Mar 02 20:17
permalink #199 of 260: Mike Godwin (mnemonic) Mon 11 Mar 02 20:17
I've noticed that when I post less on the WELL, I write more elsewhere, and elsewhere actually pays me. This could represent correlation rather than causality.
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Cynthia Heimel - Advanced Sex Tips for Girls: This Time It's Personal
permalink #200 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Tue 12 Mar 02 13:48
permalink #200 of 260: Cynthia Heimel (plum) Tue 12 Mar 02 13:48
I do keep forgetting that boswell has all the answers to my life. It's my own fault. I asked for advice. Dalling shall we stop doing this? Or keep on for no apparent reason except that it's fun? marye: what I would like to write about right now is critical depression. It would be light and breezy. Also I would like to write about dogs and surprise surprise I am doing so for Simon and Schuster. Jack is so smart. mim, yes, we have already gone through how I don't have to answer about the problem lady thingie. But problem lady comprised half of my columns in the Village Voice, so there is a precedent.
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