Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    

bradburn  --

I have been lucky.  I have experienced lots of literary glory.  Like when I
decided to be a writer and got a job in paste up at the Soho Weekly News in
NYC.  Then I took a huge giant step and asked the editor if I could write
about the Anarchist's Convention, which I thought was a very amusing
concept.  The time while I waited for him to read it was more painful than
going to the dentist.  I went out for a walk.  Then another walk.  Finally I
came back in and he shouted my name and made a thumbs up gesture.  That
could have been the happiest moment of my life.

But the biggest glory I had was when I had a successful play off broadway in
the American Place THeater.  The NY times did three articles about me in the
space of a week, I think.  They called me, among other fabulous things, an
avatar.

So let me ask you people this:  I had a madly successful play which is still
playing all around the country.  It was really the most fun thing I've ever
done.  Why haven't I written another play.  Tell me the answer and you'll
save me a lot in shrink bills.
  

    

The Cynthia Heimel-Jon Carroll radio show is alonin (in MP3 format) at

http://www.trufun.com/plum-jrc
  

    
I am listening to it RIGHT NOW.
  

    

Me too!
  

    
So Cynthia. If you could write a book about anything you wanted, and
get paid fabulously for it, what would it be about?
  

    

Mutually Assured Destruction?

No, seriously, my guess it would be a totally-straight how-to on socializing
feral and abandoned domesticated dogs.  But that's just a guess -- she knows
the subject and has the experience, but it's still just a guess.
  

    
I've been paying a lot more attention to my dog Zoe's fits of madness 
since reading this book.  Sometimes I wonder what Zoe is wondering about 
me as we gaze into each other's eyes.  

She's probably wondering if she's earned enough attaboys to get away 
with eating all the morning bacon while we're busy making toast.
  

    
Nobody has ever earned enough attaboys to eat all the bacon.
  

    
True, but dogs are all about hopefulness.
  

    

OK, I am reading and enjoying this book (FINALLY! I bought it a few weeks
ago but just now had a chance to open and read random amusing chapters,
Love love love it all, esp.  Problem Lady...) Which leads to my question
(and mayebe this is one of those dn't ask don't tell things, BUT... Whence
Problem lady letters? Were these real letters sent back in the day to PL?
Has PL been writing a column all along somewhere that i didn't know about?
Or were you, Cynthia, simply cahnneling for the people out in the world
who _would have_ asked PL these questions had they had an address to write
to?
  

    
See above for much discussion of PL and her seekrits.

I just got my copy, and finished it right up. I didn't know there was so
much glorious PL in it. And I died when I read the hobag manifesto, what do
you MEAN you ddidn't read from it except in New York, it's very evil and
very true and way too funny.
  

    
> So let me ask you people this:  I had a madly successful play which
is still playing all around the country.  It was really the most fun
thing I've ever done.  Why haven't I written another play.  Tell me the
answer and you'll save me a lot in shrink bills.<

It is simplicity itself, plum.

You must start by admitting to yourself that, even with a talent such
as yours, God only gives you so many words a day that you can write.

Next, you need to understand -- as I am sure you have twigged to
yourself -- that writers only love one thing better than writing and
that is procrastination (AKA "The Not Writing") since this can give
them double pain Not  Writing and Fretting About Not Writing.

Under normal conditions, procrastination is difficult to carry off
long term although some writers have been known to do it under the
influences of a steady paycheck, a trust fund, or drugs and alcohol.
These all have their downside.

However, you have managed to discover a way around all these things
and still manage The Not Writing.  This is, to wit, a highly abused
Well account.

Indeed, in one conference alone, you have written many hundreds of
thousands of words during its life. I'd have to run a word count again
for a precise number but it is significant.

Hence, many books have been leaked into the Well -- which being a
fluid place simply absorbs them and waits patiently for more.

I'm not sure how many plays one can write with a few hundred thousand
words, but it must be more than one.

I know full well that writers have many obsessions and blocks to deal
with. One of my old writers just came out with his first book in 19
years. It was, I suppose, worth it to spend 19 years on a history of
the Union Pacific Railroad, but I shudder to think how long it would
have taken him if he had a Well account.

So the answer is, quite frankly, that you must quit casting your
pearls in front of this audience and instead cast them in front 
of a  theatrical audience. 
  

    
True for some folks sometimes, Gerard.

Not always. People have written books and plays while also holding forth
on The WELL... and while having other conversations in their lives. 
Talking to a friend on the phone is not a writing substitute.  Using the 
WELL for text-talking doesn't have to deplete the writing-banks, it 
appears.  
 
  

    
Oh poo she didn't write another play for years even before she got a WELL
account.  And she did manage the latest book even with a WELL account.

Plus, look at how many dogs she's been able to palm off on her WELL friends,
and then there are the fosters. Nope. Plum you gotta stay.
  

    
slipt by gail
  

    

So, if I understand boswell correctly, plum you HAVE written the play, 
it's just a matter of using the WELL's extract command to find it!

Also, let me say that the last two weeks have sped by so quickly, I can't 
believe that this discussion is officially over.  We thank you for joining 
us and for hanging out with us even while jetting all over the country 
doing talks and booksignings!
  

    

plum, let's produce a reading of your posts.  a crazy collage, mebbe add
some music and multi-media images, some dog tricks.  Make the WELL spit it
back for the people.  Why the hell not, you know?
  

    
Castle is correct. Indeed, I'm formating my extract copy right now in
order to help her out.

I did give her this hint before, but she chose umbrage instead of
umbrella.
  

    
Online writing is conversation, not composition.
  

    
I repeat: You only get so many words per day be it keyboard
conversation or keyboard compilation.

How you use them is up to you.
  

    
Might be how it works for you, but for me, typing online is like talking, so
it would be like saying that more talking means less writing.

Which might itself be true for some people for all I know.
  

    

I know in my early years on the Well, writing here every day was a great
exercise. It was a way to "find my voice," get instant feedback, get inside
a potential audience's head, develop fast writing reflexes, be drawn into
subjects I'd never given much thought before, etc. But more recently I
believe that what boswell says is the sad and sorry truth. Writing here gets
it out of my system, it shoots my wad. So I don't much any more, except an
occasional weather report or some other little exercise that's like
stretching to warm up for the real thing. Or, to keep the metaphor straight,
just a little foreplay.

And I might add it makes me kind of sad to see boswell shooting his wad all
over the Well, instead of writing whatever it is he could and should be
writing.

Go write the play, plum. The world needs it!
  

    <scribbled by saiyuk Mon 11 Mar 02 17:51>
  

    

I've noticed that when I post less on the WELL, I write more elsewhere, and
elsewhere actually pays me.

This could represent correlation rather than causality.
  

    

I do keep forgetting that boswell has all the answers to my life.  It's my
own fault.  I asked for advice.

Dalling shall we stop doing this?  Or keep on for no apparent reason except
that it's fun?

marye:  what I would like to write about right now is critical depression.
It would be light and breezy.

Also I would like to write about dogs and surprise surprise I am doing so
for Simon and Schuster.  Jack is so smart.

mim, yes, we have already gone through how I don't have to answer about the
problem lady thingie.  But problem lady comprised half of my columns in the
Village Voice, so there is a precedent.