Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    

There I go misreading again.  I was sure

> Cynthia, have you ever considered placing a tip jar next to...

was going to end

"your bed?"
  

    
Funny you should mention Sex in the City, whoever mentioned it.

I found myself in a bar last night, in South Beach in Miami, telling 
the drinker on the next stool over that she needed to watch out for the 
slash (/) people because Cynthia Heimel said they were a lot of 
trouble, where on the other hand the geek types who just haven't yet 
read the book on How to Be a Human Being were a project, but had some 
potential.  

She nodded and said it would have been a lot easier on her for the last 
ten years or so if you'd have written that advice sooner.  

There's gotta be some kind of 80/20 rule on these slash people and 
these geek types though, isn't there?  Does math apply to this stuff?
  

    

Ms. Heimel, I already own two different cars, but I need to know what kind
of car to buy to pick up chicks.  Do you have any sex tips for boys?  The
only girl who eagerly jumped in my car immediately started talking money,
then she ran away with a millionaire.
  

    

P.S. -- that was a Mustang convertible.  So that's automatically out.
  

    

>Funny you should mention Sex in the City, whoever mentioned it.

That also be I.

Thank you so much for noticing.
  

    


kayo:  the one thing a woman should always keep in mind is that she is
fabulous in every way.  Except if she's cruel or evil.
  

    


kayo:  wearing black all the time is so right.  black is all colors put
together.  black is truth, beauty and the New York Way.  Black is next to
Godliness.
  

    


kayo:  Joan Blondell for love life type.
kayo:  Myrna Loy for mystical leader.
  

    

fawn:  you cannot make me address the etiquette of the wet spot.  there
isn't any.
  

    


gerard.  dogs yes, sex tips no.
  

    

mim, that is a great idea, sex tips for tips at next book reading!  but
then I will have to think of sex tips at breakneck speed!
  

    

braaaaaaaaassssch:

there is no 80/20 rule to my knowledge.  basically the composite guys are
fine guys, fine fine fine, unless they cannot support themselves, which has
been my experience up until recently.
  

    

Mr. King.  Buying a car to impress chicks is a losing battle.  The kind of
"chicks" who care about cars are the kind of chicks who only want you for
your stock portfolio and your porche.  You can never win.
  

    

Damn.
  

    
Buy the car for YOU man.

Want chicks, go play in the NBA.
  

    

cynthia, what has been the best part of your book tour?
  

    
And...

Do people ask you different kinds of questions depending on region?

Do they seem attracted to different parts of the book?
  

    

Reminder:

TONIGHT from 9 to 10pm, Jon Carroll and Cynthia Heimel will rant, rave and
take calls live on the air at KPFA (94.1 fm in northern California,
www.kpfa.org and www.kfcf.org on the web).  The number to call w/ questions,
comments and abuse is 510-848-4425
  

    

How did you do that?  How did you make that look like it said "rant, rave
and take pills live"?
  

    
Eye of the beholder, Jack.
  

    

I would have pledged if I'd known!
  

    

Cynthia, I know you're not blase when people say nice things about your
writing, but you must be kind of accustomed to it by now. When did you first
experience literary glory? What's your favorite thing anyone's ever said to
you about your writing?
  

    

Well?  We're waiting. . . .
  

    

techgirl, the very best part of my book tour was Cody's.  The audience was
fabulous, I was up to speed, and it felt like everything was perfect, even
the heckler.
  

    

marye,

besides the story about the bay area, which I didn't read anywhere else, I
didn't notice a difference of tastes according to region.  Although I did
notice a difference of tastes in cities and suburbs.  The suburbs aren't
really up to the "how to tell if a man is gay joke".  Or I think so, maybe
that's my own prejudice.

the one thing I regret is that I didn't read any of the hobag manifesto
until I got to New York, where it just seemed impossible NOT to read it.  It
went over really well, and felt so damned good to read.  I should have read
it everywhere.  Dammit.