Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Email from Davey:

Pamela -- The WFA nominees were announced a while ago, they just aren't
posted in most of the places a person would expect to find them such as
the World Fantasy Con organization site and/or that of the upcoming
WFC... <grumblings and notes to webmistresses>. However, the
ever-reliable LOCUS has them at
www.locusmag.com/2002/News/News08Log2.html#9aug. AG is in interesting
company this year, and the WFA, being decided by a panel of judges rather
than an open ballot, is highly idiosyncratic. (Ask Mike, he's had a term
in the judging barrel; I only know from the guidelines the administrators
typically provide each year's panel, and those allow effectively
unlimited discretion to the judges and for the possibility of
horse-trading. Each panel finds its own balance.)

I've already heard speculation that AG won't win because the World
Fantasy Award judges won't want to look as if they're going along with
that populist Hugo-voting public; that it will win because the judges
will want to prove their independence with one in the eye for all the
folks who think a "popular" novel shouldn't win; that it won't because
there'll be pressure brought to bear since it isn't purely a fantasy and
SF is beyond the scope of consideration for the WFA; that it will because
the fantastic and horrific elements far outweigh the SF and the story is
huge and stunning and gorgeously written. Ladies and gentlemen, place yer
bets.

(Everyone's already figured out that I'll surely be at World Fantasy,
right? Im working on this year's convention -- look for me in Program Ops
/ Green Room, if you're there -- and I have a seat on the WF Board as a
former con co-chair.)

Maure -- The kitty shoes are verrrry nifty, the sort of thing I admire
but have never had the courage to build into my wardrobe. (Too many years
in Corporate America, I suppose. Hah, I'm unemployed now and working on
ways to not have to continue in a corporate sort of company. Wish me
luck.)

Dodge -- Thank you for reminding me of Jenny Callender, it's been a long
time since Season 2. There was a reality about that character that none
of the other women has achieved; too bad the show had to lose its only
strong female role model so early in the series.
  

    
And it was so cute in that episode to show Giles being a gauche boy.
Especially with Snyder talking in the foreground about teens and their
hormones and stuff. It's a very funny scene. 

The murder of Jenny was one of the most shocking scenes I'd seen on
that show at the time. It was meant to be to show the pure horror of
what Angelus was really really all about. The incredible contrast to
the pleasant man that Angel was. I mean, they'd pounded into us in
words his viciousness. The tale of the puppy on valentines day. The
stringing of Willow's fish. The stalking of Buffy & her mom. Even the
death of the uncle and writing on the wall with his blood didn't
entirely get to us. The callous hunting down and murder, not even
drinking her blood, then setting her up in Giles' bedroom, was so
horrifying. 
  

    
Wow. I obviously need to catch up on my scifi shows. I keep catching
late night old reruns. 
  

    
Well. These are certainly being rerun. Buffy plays twice a day every
day on FX, once at 7am and once at 6pm. Then on Tuesdays, the first run
and this season repeats comes on at 7pm. Then on Friday nights and
twice during Saturday and once at least during Sunday, you get the
repeats and the this season stuff playing on 26 & 20. YES. They run it
on 20 for Tuesday night then repeat it on 26 for the weekends. Amazing.
I wish they'd do the same with Angel. I'm missing large blocks of that
series on tape.  
  

    
Well, in this house we're just catching up with the first series of
Sapphire and Steel. Cutting edge, that's us...

E-mail received from a reporter for the Winnipeg Free Press. One for
News of the Weird, I suspect. His story for tomorrow follows:

City police are investigating whether an elaborate sting at Kildonan
Place
Shopping Mall - a fake armoured-car guard ripped off 48 businesses -
was
copied from an international bestselling book. Sgt. Don Forgie said
yesterday investigators are reading Neil Gaiman's
American Gods to explore similarities between the book and the Aug. 30
scheme in Winnipeg. But Forgie added police will only know for sure
once they capture the man
who posed as a bogus Securicor guard to con store employees to drop
their
night deposits into his strongbox, not the regular Royal Bank chute.
But he said the scam in Winnipeg is similar to what Gaiman wrote in
American
Gods, a mythological look at the American dream. It's out in paperback
now
and was on the New York Times bestseller list. In the book, a god
known as Mr. Wednesday hooks up with another god known as
Shadow. They go on a Kerouac-esque road trip. Mr. Wednesday is a
grifter, and at one point teaches Shadow how to get money
fast - a fake deposit box outside a bank manned by a bogus security
guard. Gaiman writes on page 113; "Shadow watched, impressed. Unable to
hear the
conversation across the street, he felt it was like watching a fine
silent
movie performance, all pantomime and expression: the old security
guard was
gruff, earnest - a little bumbling perhaps, but enormously
well-meaning.
Everyone who gave him their money walked away a little happier from
having
met him."In the Winnipeg case, the con man convinced a mall security
guard to instruct
retailers to drop their deposits in a fake strongbox - it was painted
blue
with Royal Bank markings - because the regular wall chute was broken;
a key
had been mysteriously broken off in the lock. The fake armoured car
looked real to everyone; he had a uniform and drove a
mini van with Securicor markings. Authorities only found about the
scam the next day when it became clear that
someone had made off with the day's cash receipts.  Daniel Auger. He's
the 24-year-old Auger became a suspect because someone
walked into the mall who recognized him. Police believe Auger, who has
a background as a graphic artist, has fled to
the West Coast as he once lived there. The van has not been found
yet.Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at
786-8477.                                   bruce.owen@freepress.mb.ca

This is what I filed for Sept. 11:

  By Bruce OwenIt was a con job so brazen, even police and his victims
are impressed by the
way he pulled his sting.No guns or threats or hint of violence - just
a smooth-talking con man posing
as an armoured car guard who ripped off 48   businesses in Kildonan
Place
Shopping Mall by barely lifting a finger."He was very meticulous in
his planning," Winnipeg Police Service Sgt. Don
Forgie said yesterday. "He thought it out really well. There is
nothing like
this happening in the rest of the country."But we're hoping his
overconfidence will ultimately be his downfall."The sting happened the
evening of Aug. 30 just before mall merchants closed
their shops before the beginning of the long weekend.Police and
merchants say at about 9 p.m. a man driving a white mini van, with
Securicor markings on the side, pulled up outside the south end
entrance,
just outside Branigans and the Royal Bank night deposit box.He walked
into the mall - he was also wearing a fake Securicor uniform -
carrying a blue strong box with yellow Royal Bank decals on its side,
plunking it down beside the night deposit box.He immediately told a
mall security guard that the regular night deposit box
was broken; someone had broken off a key inside its lock, making it
useless.The fake guard and mall guard tried to fix the lock, borrowing
some locksmith
tools from the Keyman kiosk nearby. They couldn't fix it, so the fake
guard told the mall guard to get merchants
to make their night deposits - cash receipts from the day - into his
temporary strong box. The mall guard even stood guard over the box as
the
fake guard left the building.Two hours later he came back, picked up
the box and drove away. Police have
identified the suspect as Daniel Auger, 24, and have issued a warrant
for
his arrest. Police believe he may have fled to the west coast."We all
figured it was all right," Keyman manager Tania Rice said. "There was
a line up of people making their deposits."Whoever did this was really
smart. They picked a Friday night before a long
weekend. They had to really plan this out."Merchants say 48 of the 100
mall business were taken in by the con. They also
say the suspect got away with more than $40,000. The ruse was not
uncovered
until the next day. That's when police were called.Royal Bank
spokesperson Diana Ward said if it's found the  merchants were
victimized through no fault of their own, the bank will reimburse
them.She also said people have to be aware of suspicious activity
around them, and
call the bank or police if they believe something isn't right."It
could have been any financial institution," she said. "This is an
industry issue."Ross Parry, spokesman for Securicor, said the company
would not comment on
the robbery.Police and merchants said the suspect also had to have
"cased" the mall being
pulling off the fraud, as he was aware of when the cash pickups were
made.
He also had to convince the mall security guard he was authentic.Mall
manager Mark Fenwick said he couldn't comment on the robbery.Rice said
she wants mall management to be a little more forthcoming about
what happened."I'm a little disappointed," she said. "Who wants to
leave things up to the
security guards here after what happened. It's pretty careless."Forgie
said the mall guard was duped the same as the merchants.He also said
police have not yet recovered the white mini van used in the
con. It had "Securicor" stenciled in blue on its side along with a
blue pin
stripe.Forgie said the suspect has no criminal record is believed to
have never
worked as an armoured car guard.Anyone with information is asked to
call police at 986-2857 or Crime Stoppers
ay 786-8477.  

Your thoughts?

signed

Bemused
  

    
Yeah, bemused is about right. I'm sitting here with a smirk on my
face. I don't know what is more amusing, the fact that this guy pulled
it off or the possibility that he got the idea from American Gods.
Neil Gaiman - GodsFather
  

    
Although $40,000 sounds like quite a bit, I can't help wondering how
much money he invested in the scam to begin with. Mocking up a
realistic armored car can't have been a quick thing to do. 

I'm also wondering how exactly the Winnipeg Police came by their AG
theory. Had one of them read the book and just hought "Hey, golly! This
sounds familiar!" ? 

Definitely made my day though :)
  

    <scribbled by dfowlkes>
  

    
Neil,  how interesting! Do you feel like an accessory before the fact,
now? 

everyone who is jealous of the kitty shoes, don't be jealous. Ask for
a pair for Christmas -- that's how I got mine.

Davey, they don't take too much courage to wear, really, just a little
unabashed sense of and appreciation for the absurd. I bet you'd look
marvelous at a corporate job in kitty shoes.

Michelle,  you definitely need a red pair! They also have mice shoes,
though, you know. We have dust too -- it's obvious the previous owners
didn't clean very completely, and the realty company did a once-over
and okay'ed it, but the three of us have been dusting, and swiffering,
and sweeping like mad. I think it's ok now, but the first few days were
very sneezy.

Pamela, if they had been singing at me, I don't know what I'd have
done. Probably would have blushed furiously and run away, I imagine. As
it is, I think I mistakenly gave Ms. Datlow the wrong link to the
site. I hope she found it, if she wanted them. I hope that if I meet
her again, she doesn't think, "Oh looky here, it's the kitty shoe girl
who gave me a fake link." Of course, I don't think she'd remember me,
as long as I'm not wearing the kitty shoes.
  

    
If more bank customers had read AG, they wouldn't have been taken in by the
scam.
  

    
Allright, why does Neil have an acting credit for appearing in Signal
to Noise?

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0133200
  

    

"If Neil had gone straight to the police, none of this would have ever
happened."
  

    
Godsfather! Ha! That is the weirdest thing I have read all year, I
think. Weird, weird, weird.

***

I don't have cable or TV guide or the newspaper, so I never really
know what's going to be on TV. I just turn it on sometimes and shows
happen upon me. I see an average of two Buffy's a week. But my timeline
is all messed up. I think Buffy is having sex with Spike now and not
liking it, and Willow stopped using her powers. Is this the new stuff?
I know that Werewolf guy is gone, but I don't know how or when. I just
know because he's on that silly puppet show now. Thanks for all the
show times, Dodge:) 

***

So I've been listening to a lot of BBC radio lately. Mostly 3 and 4. 4
is very surreal at times. One minute these Brits will be talking about
American politics, and then, with hardly any warning at all, another
Brit starts reading chapters from Gulliver's Travels. I space out for 5
seconds and they're taking about enemas. That's my kind of radio. If
you're not careful, you could get them all confused. Sometimes it's
kind of like the news people on Monty Python's Flying Circus. "And now
for . . ." 

People slipped.
"If Neil had gone straight to the police, none of this would have ever
happened."-- Buahaha! Yeah Neil, what the hell?
  

    <scribbled>
  

    
"A literate burglar?  How refreshing!"

--character Jefferson Blue, UNDERCOVER BLUES

Thoughts?  
1.  Um, that's *one* way to get AG out to a new audience.
2.  Call your lawyer.
3.  I wonder if you'll be getting an investigative phone call.  "NY
Times Bestselling Author Neil Gaiman categorically denies any
involvement in the crime, but hopes you'll all buy AMERICAN GODS for
family holiday presents out of sheer curiosity."
  

    
Hee-hee.  GodsFather.  Hee-hee.  He's even got a thing for cats.

Neil, next time I see you at a Q & A, I'm going to resist the
temptation to ask for a Marlon Brando impression.  ;-)

Oh, and *loved* your comments on poetry on the journal--"people who
couldn't write a villenelle at gunpoint" <<snicker>>  Exactly!

Erm, that's the journal at www.neilgaiman.com , since we haven't put
up a pointer in a while.

Mary (reading Drums of Autumn--is there a 12-step program I can get
into?)
  

    
Email from Christy:

Hey, gang -- check out the cover of Maud Casey's new short-story
collection:  
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/0688176968.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg .  Look
familiar?  (Especially if you're in the UK?)

> it -is- too bad that Amazon caught on and edited the Nimbus 2000 
reviews

They did?  Must have been before I got to it, and I *still* think what's
there is pretty funny!

Oh, yeah, the Hugo photo links also showed me a sometime Wellian.  Now,
being a fantasy novice, I'm not sure who Patrick Nielsen Hayden is, but I
do know he posted on the Well a couple of times and seemed like a nice
guy.  He looks like a nice guy, too, or at least a cheerful one.  You
still lurking, <pnh>?

And Mary said:
> Neil--you look wonderful, and if you hadn't said how sick you were, I 
would have thought it was your normal pallor  ;-)

What she said, exactly.  Really, you look fine, and those are cool
glasses!

Mary -- Ohhh, a Celtic artist and a glassmaker....  That can only result 
in breathtaking beauty.

Rocky -- Hey, you might have something there!  I don't have a CD burner, 
though, so would you settle for a cassette copy?  (Note to copyright 
enthusiasts:  It's OK, it's out of print!)  Feel free to e-mail me.

Sometime I'll have to look for the 1980 TV movie of _Lathe_, too.  I 
think one can get it in video stores.  It was in reading an article about 
that film in _3-2-1 Contact_ magazine that I first heard of the book and 
was intrigued.  22 years later, I finally read it, and it did *not* 
disappoint!  Hands-down the best book I've read all year.  :)

Maure -- That's a cute story about the kitty shoes!  I got a chuckle out 
of the shoes themselves, too.  (And Meg, if you get those shoes, your 
cats will think they got two more playmates!  :)    )

Pamela, are you going for Most Consecutive Posts?  That video is 
precioussssssssssssssss -- I'm passing it along!  I've heard Leonard 
Nimoy's version of "If I Had a Hammer," too, and it's hilariously sappy.  
:D

Michelle -- I hope your week is going better!  Mine wasn't going too well 
for a while, either.  And do the ratties fear dust bunnies?

And to add to his other talents (which, apparently, include being the 
only actor in _Signal to Noise_), we have Neil Gaiman:  Criminal 
Mastermind.  Neil, here's hoping you always use your powers only for 
good!

Ah, well, no such thing as bad publicity, right?  ;)

Shawn -- I'll bet that's exactly what happened.  I mean, _some_body had 
to have read it to make the connection, right?  Good question about the 
cost to the scammer, too....

Hey, Erynn -- Did you know that that Werewolf guy is Scott Evil?  :)

Hmm.  Sounds as though it must have been BBC 4 that Neil was listening to 
when he came up with "We Can Get Them for You Wholesale."  ;)

Later,
Christy Smith, bravest little Hobbit of them all
  

    
Oh goddess, there goes my idea for fundraising for my vacation.
Personally, I think it's proves the odd world of retail. Low wages for
awful work makes you care little for anything other then going home at
the end of the day.
I wonder if the bookstore in the mall lost their money?

Oh man do I know that FX plays Buffy, as the sister of a Massive Buffy
addict, we have ever episode of Buffy on tape up to current. So if
anyone needs one. For her birthday I catalog them for her and now watch
way more then I'd like to admit. I just sit and giggle at all the
comic references.


Tracey/Jinx who has a split personality tonight
  

    
    I can recall a version of this -- a uniformed man next to a sign
reading "Night Depository Out of Order: Give Deposits to Guard" from at
least twenty years back.  Worked then, too.  And in outline it's a
very basic swindle; you more-or-less plausibly convince the mark that
you have proper authority to receive his wodge of cash, and since
(generally) he was expecting to give it to somebody, he gives it to
you.  But then, there aren't very many really basic swindles.  Like
story plots, which they also are.
    Of course, criminals are a superstitious, cowardly, and distinctly
uncreative lot, as I keep bein reminded by the financial wizards of
Nigeria, Congo, Angola, and points south.
  

    
Tracey - re: Buffy tapes. Oooo...I might just take you up on that.
I've taped most of them myself, but I think I'm just going to wait till
all the DVDs get released (and, accordingly, until I can afford them)
so that I don't have to watch the edited, syndicated versions, which
sometimes cut out the very best jokes. :(

Erynn - The current stuff you mentioned is mostly from right before
the end of the season. Buffy and Spike stopped having sex, and Willow
kind of came back with a vengeance with her powers. But I won't spoil
the last few shows of the last season, as they're have too many great
surprises to ruin :)
  

    
Opps, forgot - 

John - I can think of examples much closer to home with Enron and
WorldCom collapsing around their ears.
  

    

Christy?  Um..what's a "cassette?"  *grin* 
Seriously though, we can do a trade. I'd love to hear just how trippy
they can be.

Mary - I've finished "The Fiery Cross"...talk about a withdrawl
syndrome. Oh well, at least my accent has returned to normal. ;>
  

    
Okay. So, I'm walking home, just like I always do, having taken off
work early so I can go home and clean before the Friteeth people get
here, and as I'm walking past the Uptown Theatre, the door is open and
I can see lights and marble floor and I just freeze and peer inside.
The caretaker, David, says hello, and recognises me from the morning
when the CNN remote crew were there and he invited me inside to look
around!

Lemme explain. The Uptown on Broadway in Chicago has been closed down
and boarded up since 1981. I grew up 4 blocks from the Uptown, and I've
never been inside. The closest I've come to ever being inside is the
calendar I bought last year, with black and white photos of the
theatre. Although, I found out today, I could have seen the inside if
I'd seen Soul Survivors, which was shot there. Dammit. I remember
walking past and asking the crew what was shooting that day, and if I'd
known I was that close to Elisa Dushku...

Anyway. Topic.

Oh my God! It's frelling amazing in there! It's the largest and most
ornate theatre Balaban and Katz ever built. It opened in 1925, and
stayed open until 1960s, when they closed it down as a theatre theatre,
and just had music performances there off and on until they shut it
down for good in '81. It can seat almost 5000 people. It's got a lobby
that's six stories high, and used to have Austrian crystal chandeliers
everywhere. There isn't an inch of this place that isn't jaw-hit-floor
stunning, with bas relief and gilt and just.... I can't begin to
describe all the stuff it has. You just gotta see it. I spent almost 45
minutes wandering around, getting to see nooks and crannies. I didn't
go up or downstairs, though--just saw the main lobbies and floor, and
saw where the old Nursery was. The caretaker was the nicest guy alive.
He knows a TON about the building and its history, and when he was a
kid, the Uptown was his local moviehouse. I got his card and cell
number, and am going to beg and plead and beg to see if I can get a
longer tour when my Judy is here next week. He is just the nicest,
coolest guy. Have I mentioned that? So the best early birthday pressie
ever!

Wow. I just... I'm bouncing off walls. For the longest time, I've been
dying to see inside this place! Firstly, because for the last two
years I wanted to write a Buffyverse story set in the late 1980s, with
a vamp nest in the theatre. 'Cause you know--I'm me. Secondly, because
I've seen it from the outside most of my life, and after going to the
Chicago Theatre for the first time this year, and seeing how gorgeous
it was, it broke my heart to know that the Uptown, which is larger and
grander, has been allowed to decompose for 20 years because the company
that had it refused to refurbish it.

Wow. I'm all, just... Wow.
  

    
Shawn, any time, drop me a line, we're generous with Buffy in this
house, the Bratchilde has almost every book written about the show and
my friend Sir Jon is thanked in one of them,

Tara, Isn't it beautiful? When I was wicked young my father took me
there for something,...musical don't remember the band, but we have
pics of the inside. I vaugelu remember it. You are soooo lucky!

Jinxy
  

    
Maure - Mousey shoooooes!!! :D (must have... hmmm, maybe I could get a
pair of mouse shoes and a pair of kitty shoes and really confuse
people by wearing one of each sometimes)

Christy - The ratties fear everything... except banana chips.

As for Buffy... I have no cable. But as it's taking forever and a day
to get through the DVDs, I'm being patient as I can be.

squeaks, who just bought a scanner because she's totally broke, and
the best way to treat debt is by going further into it... right?

p.s. I may have some of my skirts up in a local designer consignment
shop next month! Depends on whether or not I can swindle the shop owner
into believing 'mistress mousey' really is a local designer worth
selling... crossed fingers for me!