Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Greetings Donn!
A little background on me..in 1968, I took a date while still in
high school to see the Grateful Dead at the National Guard Armory in
downtown St. Louis and that experience completely changed the arc of
my life, going forward..prior to that fateful night, I was going to
graduate, move to Grand Bahama Island and work as a deckhand on a
billfishing
charter boat for a dude we had met on previous trip to the Island
called Captain WhiteTrash who lived there..which meant no
college..which disappointed my parents but after that concert, I did
a 180° change and got into Menlo College in Menlo Park, CA.
essentially, so I could see the Dead on their home turf a lot..1969
to 1970, I completed my freshman year and then dropped out.

This is crossposted from the previous Inkwell topic about Philip K.
Dick but it is relevant here to this topic since I am experiencing a
bunch of synchronicities with Donn’s story here and will purchase
his book since I already have read “Everything I know..”

Where to start with the synchronicities? 

Quoting Donn here: 
“I had my first grateful Dead experiences
in new your at the aGe of fifteen -- the Fillmore East, some tiny
place on long island near the south shore in Long beach -- that was
my tribe. Moved to California in summer 1971”

I was in high school as well as you Donn when I first saw the
Grateful Dead as mentioned above when I was 17 yo and then as soon
as I could I moved to Menlo Park, California to attend college so I
could see these cats and kitties on their home turf.


Quoting Donn:
 “there were moments in that
show where the jams resolved into ballads and the beauty was so
immense, and intense, that I thought: This music has power! I have
Power! And I had to be true to that -- I couldn't Walk out of there
and put up with the same old shit.”

After and during my first show, I knew on a deep, deep level,
viscerally that I needed to see these cats and kitties over and over
again to experience that freedom and joy in the music and in me, as
well. I admit I was too awestruck at that first concert in 1968 to
dance and sing as I did later on at subsequent shows as I became
familiar with the lyrics and the environment of the shows where I
was free to sing and dance with those around me except when I was
seated with tapers which was rare but I respected the tapers and
restrained myself from singing in and around them.


Quoting Donn:
“You asked about my first concert, if i knew
what I was getting into. To a degree, but not the full experience.
But once those chords hit for "the Other one" and the extended
opening to "morning dew" left me in suspended animation, I figured
it out pretty quick. Hell, I expected life to be like that, I have
spent a lot of time looking for transcendent experiences and it took
some work, but they were there to be had. You just had to poke
around.”

Previous to my first concert, I had stumbled upon a Ramparts article
in my high school library about the scene in San Francisco and the
article talked about the Grateful Dead so that piqued my interest
and then the Boys came to St. Louis and the Bus came by and I got
on, that’s when it all began

Finally, Donn, some of the songs you mention in passing are some of
my favorites as well, to wit: The Eleven, Loser, Cryptical
Envelopment, The Other One, Morning Dew (I have a special place of
reverence for this song as they played it at my first show and
completely blew me away)
More on this song later and my work with adolescents directly out of
San Mateo Julie Hall..
Thanking you David for hosting Donn in this most interesting topic.
  

    
200 shows under my belt here, about the only thing I have to brag
about. I miss that part of my life. Anyway, just wanted to thank you
for that wonderful post about Jerry Brown. I always supported him,
even if he erred at times. So thanks again for painting such a great
picture of this dynamic interesting complex man, Donn.

Question: any hope of your sharing that haiku? The one you were
struggling with due to that extra syllable, I believe it was.
  

    
I'm pleased that the Jerry Brown I saw in person, once or twice close up,
was the same guy in private on the job.

I live right next to the Fox Theater and love to see the kids in the nabe.
  

    
Hi Mary and Alex and Helen. I'll get to you guys in order and hi to
andrew, who has been to watkins glen, and lives near my old Haunting
grounds at the fox in oakland -- glad you are enjoying the kids in
the neighborhood, Andrew - that school really was a labor of love,
and it has some of that grateful dead spiriT. In section 4 of the
book, the first post-script,I recount a vignette that puts so many
things in perspective: the school, the grateful dead influence on
other organizations (like ecstaTic dance) how to be authentic in
this crazy world.

So Mary: I know there were some casualties and I don't pretend to be
an expert on the details of the affordable housing industry, but I
told that story to highlight his boldness and decisiveness, so
welcome after the gLacial pace of activity in Most political
circles. I beLieve he saw a bloated bureaucracy and thought the
services were betTer delivered at the local level. That's my
interpretation anyway.

Alex: It still surprises me how similar many of our experiences are,
how even our internal compasses seem drawn in the same way, in the
same direction, and many of us made major life choices because of
this poetic faith we had in a different way of life. "The ideals of
our most idealistic time" is a phrase I use: I wanted to grow up And
still retain that childhood awe, and then  for me to be in education
And Pass that along to children -- That felt authentic, and wHat a
joy to get the opportunity to do that. There were battles, but they
were worth it. And When I fight, I make sure the issue is worth it
and I fight fair.

Helen: I will share the haiku and for $19.99 you can  have the whole
description a And the scenes in nepal where this took place. So Long
before I was traipsing around tHe world I was a creative kid with a
math brain too, so the sparse creatiVity and syllable limits of the
haiku form were fun for me. so in 1989 I'm trekking in nepal alone
and I comE to what seems to Be an impassable river, and a storm
seems to be coming, so I take a seat and start tossing pebbles into
tHis calm eddy off the main raging river channel, and "Ripple" from
American Beauty is in my head:

"Ripple in still wa-
ter, when there is no Pebble
tossed, noR wind to blow"  

(This is the "official" Haiku, a 5-7-5 pattern, but you see how I
have to break up wa-ter to get it to work, which is legit, in fact
ingenious on Garcia/Hunter's enD of thIngs) - and now I'm seeinG
sunshine peeking through, and raIn slowing and thE river seems to be
calming a bit, and I want to keep the momentum goinG and I sense
something, so I apply the 5-7-5 pattern to tother verses:

"You who choose to lead,
must follow, but if you fall,
you fall alone, if

"You stand, then who's to
Guide you? If I knew the way
I would take you home."

It doesn't get any better than this gorgeous lullaby: the delicate
haiku structure, david grisman's ethereal mandolin, and of all their
song closures where they go home,  (He's come to take his childreN
.....; May the 4 winds Blow you safely ........) "Ripple" is my
favorite, the vulnerability of "If I knew the way ........." just
hits the right emotional chord.  JerRy Garcia never mansplAins, he
really wants to help but he's got some challenges of his own.

By this time the sun has come out and tHe rain has stopped and
within a few minutes A very unusual event occurs tHat alLows mE to
cross the river and make it to the next village. The sacred haiku
rhythm may have guided me through this tough interlude, and thE
question of the "lost Syllable" remains. In order to be fully true
to the 5-7-5 pattern, somewhere in the sequence I found a seamless
way to fade out an excess sylLable. Shouldn't be that hard to finD.
Thanks to All and gooD night. 

My pattern has been to spend 2-3 hours leading into midnight (oR
Later)s on Inkwell each night if that helps at all with
anyone'sschedule.
  

    
“More on this song later and my work with adolescents directly out
of
San Mateo Julie Hall.”

Meant to say “..San Mateo Juvie Hall.”.
Have not told this story yet in any topic or Conf. here since I
joined the WE’lL in 2013 so here goes:
After dropping out in 1970, I was living at home in St. Louis so I
kicked around there for a year or so doing various things until the
draw or pull was so strong that I knew I had to return to Bay Area
so I convinced my parents that I would re-enroll in college with a
twist..Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio had opened up a
campus in downtown San Francisco in what is known now as South of
Market but in 1971 it was just a “campus” in an old warehouse on the
second floor near the Greyhound Bus Station..so I sold my VW Van in
St. Louis, flew back to the Bay Area without a car, found some place
to stay and attended “classes” at Antioch..classes consisted of
trying to figure out for our selves what it is that we wanted, as
students, to do with our work and life..various entities
(non-profits and others) around the Bay Area would “advertise” with
Antioch various internships..

as an aside, Bob AKA Robert Scheer was on the faculty at the
time..so I took in some sessions with him at the helm and noticed a
non-profit agency in San Mateo that had an internship available at a
place called Pedregal House..the intern would live at the house for
room and board while helping to out to “learn” how to work with
these adolescents..all the adolescents in Pedregal House (PH) came
straight out of San Mateo Juvie Hall and would live there while
attending San Mateo High School..while living there, they would do
chores like learning how to cook meals for all and cleaning etc..the
expectation was that these cats and kitties would attend group and
individual sessions while working on the issues that got them into
Juvie in the first place..
the place was run by a cat named Jeff Felix (I kid you not) who I
interviewed with..he explained to me that the goal of PH was for
these adolescents to eventually graduate from PH and high school,
leave and become “productive” members of society armed with their
new-found self-knowledge and function without becoming recidivists
to the system..so I got the internship, moved into PH and began to
learn how I could help these kids learn about themselves..we, as
counselors, attended our own group sessions where we did the same
things as the kids..

Long story short, I eventually “graduated” and got credit from
Antioch and PH..moved to Montara where I roomed with another
counselor and a cat named Roger Freeburg and ended up oworking at PH
for several years while attending as many shows as I could..Jeff was
very lenient with me about this proclivity of mine so it was a grate
time to be alive and young in the Bay Area 
  

    <hidden>
  

    
Redevelopment drift hidden.
  

    

Hi, Donn! Sorry to be getting to the discussion a bit late, but I had a
busy, mostly Well-deprived week. Eager to dip into things here, but
BEFORE I DO...

I just wanted to let anyone with access to SiriusXM Radio know that Donn
will be joining <tnf> and I on "Tales From The Golden Road," our weekly
talk show on the Grateful Dead Channel (Ch. 23), which airs this
afternoon from 4-6 pm Eastern/1-3 pm Pacific (those dwelling in the
zones in between, please adjust accordingly!).
  

    

Check that!

David is feeling a bit under the weather today, and won't be co-hosting
"Tales," so we're gonna reschedule Donn for sometime soon. And let's
wish our pal a speedy recovery!
  

    
thanks gary, i'll check in with you guys next week. I was on the
facebook page wishing david well and I look forward to any time we
can carve out.
  

    
And Hi to Mary Mazzocco on response #32 -- it just says
redevelopment drift hidden (Maybe that meant "DRAFT") --so maybe
something didn't come through.
  

    
<31> is my hot take on Jerry Brown and redevelopment. I hid it
because it lacks Grateful Dead content. 

I  would point out however, that my husband the affordable housing
developer was a major Deadhead, like many folks in the industry in
the 1990s and 00s. And that’s the best I can do to bring it back
around on topic. ;-)
  

    
I wound up in the ER last night at about nine, and after several
tests, I was diagnosed with diverticulitis and I've begun course of
treatment that has so involved Three courses of IV antibiotics!

My wife is going to bring me my computer in a little while, and I
will be able to catch up and participate in this topic again.
  

    
Wow, sorry to hear that, David. Diverticulitis hurts! Hope you're
recovering quickly.
  

    
Oh man. Healing beams on full.
  

    
Geez, David, now it's diverticulitis!
  

    
Good Grief, dude!
Close the windows they’re coming in the doors
Close the doors they’re coming in the windows
Beamage for a quick recovery being sent from here to there
  

    
David: Sunday's "Tales From the Golden Road" show offered you a rush
of get well sentiments and I don't know that any of us knew You were
in the e.r., so hopefully medication and rest can calm the
inflammation soon. While I was in college I was a front desk
coordinator at Santa Monica Hospital emergency, an intense and
unforgettable 5 years. Anyway, more good wishes and just thanks for
being you, as was said on Sunday multiple times.

To Kickstart ideas and for me to clarify what i was trying to say in
crafting the book -- I knew the world of adults  I was experiencing
while growing up was inauthentic and judgmentaL, and with my fierce
drive to forge new paths I needed a soundtrack, and if it weren't
for the deadI would have had to develop a unified code from various
sources. The Dead created a whole package that gave context to
hardship, disappointment, weirdness, adventure. "I know you rider" -
I could be the rider, having left the petty and mundane world
behind, I might be getting across the rio grande because the cue
stick was crooked and they're looking to place The blame somewhere
instead of just saying, as a deadhead wouLd: "Man, with the cue
stick this fucked up, we can't judge what's going on, Let's work a 
little differently for now." That's too frightening for people, they
live in fear of the person just above them and work very hard at
masking imperfections. That's the world I was hoping we'd left
behind. 
near the end of the main narrative, I wrote this about what I had
learned from 1970-1995: 

life is a joyous but tricky adventure, there will be bullets to
dodge and fools to outwit and wealth in countless places but often
hidden. If I kept alert I could hear the avalanche from far off
....... and (I learned) that most conventional wisdom is only
conventional. Maybe the best lesson of all was the adjustment Jerry
Garcia made in "Touch of Grey" -- when "I will survive" becomes "we
will survive." Now each time I start to use "I" in a sweeping
statement, my personal translator plugs in "We", and Hell, I'm A
better mAn for it, we're all better for believing in each
other.We're here together on this spinning ball of rock and water
and Ice, dizzy with possibilities, dizzy with eternity.
  

    
It is kind of wonderful how many lines from Grateful Dead songs can
be put to use in thinking about our lives.
  

    
Yes, it is so true. They tapped into something at once unique and
universal. In one of the addenda in the book I list all the
different "Americana" names they created -- Stella Blue, Tennessee
jed, Althea, etc. ........ it's an amAzing cast of characters who
evoke people in oUr lives ....... it's epic, like the vedas for the
60s counter-culture. The annotated Lyrics from david dodd read like
that. Robert hunter especially was well-versed in poetic traditions
going back millennia. So kit connects us to each other and to the
ages.
  

    
you guys have illuminated something for me: i saw the dead for the
first time maybe sometime in the late 60s and simply thought they
were a good band to rock out to. have been amazed how they and
deadhead culture became what it did.

-anyway-, you seem to be saying that dead lyrics are sort of sacred
texts, which deadheads use to guide themselves and find meaning.

i really had no idea.

and yes, i am a heretic/miscreant/unbeliever. which is not to say i
havent found some song lyrics moving/apt expressions for whatever
might have been going on in my life...but none for me have been
guides for living.

would you say most deadheads feel this way? (ducking)...
  

    
Put it this way, lines from Dead songs keep surfacing as we go about
our lives, all the time. Not whole verses or songs, just lines.
Little gnomic nuggets that Robert Hunter and Perry Barlow snatched
out of the air one afternoon long ago.
  

    
do you think this is true for most deadheads? just trying to
understand...
  

    
What makes a lyric work is resonance; it expresses a univeral truth
in a way that makes it instantly comprehensible, as though you'd
always known it but never had the words to articulate it.

Both Hunter and Barlow had a gift for that sort of wordplay while
trafficking in archetypes. And, of course, once you hear it, you
can't unhear it, so when life presents the conditions, the lyric
returns unbidden.

When a person immerses in the vast pool of lyrical motifs from the
Dead's repertoire, there are also cross connections between songs,
themes, and narratives. So yeah, it likely is true for most
deadheads. It's a conceptual toolkit for sensemaking.

It's not solely true with Dead lyrics, of course. I find it
intuitive to relate real world experience to the idioms and
narrative arcs found in roots musics, from Robert Johnson and Jimmie
Rodgers to John Prine and Guy Clark, and all the stops in between.
The timelessness of meaning persists, and taps the intrepid seeker's
awareness to suit the situation.

There's a reason why every faith practice and wisdom tradition
through history uses song to confer persistent understanding: it's
sticky af. 
  

    
One thing you have with Dead lyrics that you might not have with
John Prine is a large, diverse community that will recognize the
quoted lyrics, remember their greater context, and understand what
you are implying by quoting them.

That makes Dead lyrics kind of like Shakespeare and the Bible.