Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Martha -- I think the wax and cosmetics is the most disturbing bit of
it for me. It's not even the body any more -- it's something faintly
bodyish. This is the third one of mary's relatives to die, and each
time I'm surprised at how little it looks like the person.

Amanda -- I've lived in the US for 8 years, and I'm still not sure
what they do at Xmas here. (In the UK you get ten days of really good
TV, or you used to.) Except the kids always wake me at dawn, and I
always wind up opening presents while 90% asleep.
  

    
And here, at

http://pm7.ps.photoworks.com/sharing/AlbumImage.asp?Key=8952675127240308&size=
2&ImgID=4781631

is a fun picture of me and Maddy. You cannot see most of the leaf pile
that Maddy is sitting in. She's still waiting for her two top teeth to
come in.
  

    
Great photo with no red-eye, not even for Maddy! :P  
  

    

Cool! Something new for wallpaper on my PC!

Just kidding...
  

    
energy drinks - After all the hunting around in delis, liquor stores
and bars all over NOLA, I think I've had my fill of searching out
sources. I'll just stick to what I run into and stealing sips from my
friends' cans. :)

scooby doo - As long as you leave out Scrappy... well, I guess that's
about it. Just no Scrappy.

dead bodies - Have never been to a single wake or funeral type thing
and don't plan on EVER going to one (not even my own, if I can help
it). I dunno. I guess the whole grieving thing is just too personal an
issue for me to feel like being around anyone else. The only time this
might become a dilemma is if my folks were to die... but that's not
allowed and they know it (no matter how many twisted scenarios my
mother can come up with). ;) Dead bodies themselves don't generally
disgust me tho'. Might make me sad, but they don't seem ghastly or
ghoulish or creepy or repulsive just because they aren't living tissue.
Maybe it's just 'cause I have a friend who is a mortician and she's a
really cool girl. Or maybe I'm just that goth... <LOL!>

Neil - cute picture! <I miss leaf piles.>

-squeaks, who has been listening to Cocteau Twins "Aikea Guinea" on
repeat for 3 hours 'cause she's in one of *those* <tm> moods again.
  

    
great pic!
  

    
btw, I just need to [boast? complain? vent?]:

Tomorrow I begin auditions for Midsummer Night's Dream at the Middle
School where I teach.  I've never directed Shakespeare before,
particularly with kids of this age, and I'm both excited by, and
terrified of what's ahead of me.

Zoiks!
  

    
Neil and Pictures - This might be a completely unfair accessment, but
are there any pictures of you in print with you smiling? You're not
'looming out of the smoke in a sinister fashion like a latter day Jack
the Ripper' in any of them (so far, unless you're going to print that
one) but they all look vaguely... Dream-ish in expression. ^_^; And I
think you've got a great smile, animated personality and a sense of
humor that needs to come out too! So I guess I second your family's
choice of goofy pictures. :P  (Btw: hopefully something's arrived at
Dreamhaven for you by now...)

Amanda - Christmas in Hong Kong, we get lights up in the central
business districts on either side of Victoria Harbour.  Most of the
buildings have gigantic christmas-themed pictures (Santa, reindeer,
bells...) 'drawn' in lights... and these are lit through most of
December and January. Pretty to look at, but I'd hate to think of the
energy bill. (Will see if there's a picture anywhere on the web...) And
people general go out for dinner/brunch on Chrismas Eve/Christmas Day,
wander the streets and look at the lights etc... very commercial and
not much homeyness (if there's such a word).  Then again, people in
Hong Kong don't tend to stay home for any festivals/holidays in
general.

Michelle - Calling the doormat now...! ;)

-- Mimi

P.s. Hiding response about funerals etc... rather lengthy
  

    <hidden>
  

    
wakes - I grew up catholic and have only been to catholic wakes and
such.  Random thoughts - when you're little and it's someone you don't
know the little kids end up daring each other to touch the body.  My
first memory is of a funeral, I didn't understand death so the body was
just someone I vaguely knew laying down and I didn't want to leave
because there were toys there to keep kids quiet and I was having too
much fun.  It's spooky to me at wakes to not see the body because in my
experience this only happens when they have been so horribly mangled
in their manner of death that no amount of makeup in the world is going
to make it possible.  I've just seen it as a way for people to say
their last goodbyes face to face (even if said face looks completely
fake) and also as a possibility to spook your relatives after you die
by briefly returning, sitting up, saying 'boo!' and then lying back
down.

Amanda - Hi and thanks. :-)  X-mas sans presents - of course!  That
part completely slipped my mind: thanksgiving is where lots of little
slips of paper go into a container and are then pulled out randomly in
order to find out who is buying who a present in the x-mas gift
exchange.  And you never get any of the people you know how to buy for.
 And X-mas celebrating wise - it basically is just thanksgiving with
presents, better movies, and little kids fighting over santa hats and
trying to figure out New Things We Can Do To Tire Jenny Out Plus The
Stuff We Did To Her At Thanksgiving.

Neil - Great photo.  :-)

Good luck Len.

Jen.  
  

    
Email from Daniel Loft:

On the dead body subject, I used to feel the same way about funeral homes
and cosmetics and people not looking real and such.  I remeber resenting
the fact that they had put that crap on my grandmother.  But then my
little brother was killed in a car wreck on the 17th, friday before last.  
He still didn't look real at the short viewing we had for close friends
and family but it was good for my mother to see him and realize that he
was truly gone.  We kept my mother from having to see him at the body ID
at the medical examiner's and I'm glad for it.  The funeral home folk made
him look 10x better, if still not great.

Daniel
  

    
Been trying to think of something comforting to say, and nothing
works.  Like words would make a difference or change things, anyway.

Condolences, Daniel.
  

    
My god.  Condolences.
  

    
Email from Mary Roane:

Hey, y'all!
 
Sounds like most of y'all had a good holiday--I'm glad.
 
Daniel--I am so sorry.  I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and
prayers.  And you're right about the viewing.  When I lost my dad a few
years ago, it helped me realize that he really was gone, awful as the
whole thing was.  It's one of the few tools we have left to let us grieve
in a society that doesn't like sad people.
 
 
Amanda--my Thanksgiving is a little different, so I'll give you a
different perspective.  I'm an only child, and my dad is gone now, so I
either travel (last year I had fish & chips in a pub across from
Westminster Cathedral) or I eat with a group of friends here.  Some are
gay, some are straight & include a Catholic priest, several church
musicians, a couple of teachers, a couple of opera singers, an ex-nun,
etc.  We range in age from 30-73.  Sometimes we potluck, but the standard
is high--some of these people are practically gourmets.  So I bring the
wine.  (Side note--try baking the turkey breast down to keep it from being
dry.  And I've gotta agree with Neil--best one I ever had was one we had
grown ourselves when I was in high school.)  Most years we sing before we
eat (in 4 parts, of course).  Most years we go around the table and name
things we're thankful for.  And every year we eat too much!  This year we
watched "Will & Grace" afterward.  We never do football.
 
Christmas is a little different--most of us sing in my (Catholic) church
choir.  So we're at Midnight Mass until 1:30 a.m. and back for the 10:15
Mass the next morning.  We exchange gifts before the 10:15, since several
of us are there for the 8:00.  We bring coffee cake, etc. & nosh a little.  
In years past, when we were at the same church with our priest friend,
Denny, he had us over to the rectory after Midnight Mass for mulled wine &
birthday cake for his brother-in-law's mom, known to all as Grandma Rose.  
That part of his family is Jewish, so it's partly a Hanukah celebration as
well.  All I know is that drinking Grandma Rose's good health (she's 94
this year, I believe) at 2:00 a.m. made for an...interesting....singing
experience the next morning.  After all that, we adjourn to my choir
director's house (where we spent Thanksgiving) to drink champagne all day.  
And I mean ALL day.  And eat.
 
Neil--great picture.  Miss Maddy looks like her dad.  You may put out the
CD's in any order you wish (magnanimous, aren't I?  ;-p)  I think the idea
of putting the extra 13 minutes on the website is an excellent one.
 
Len--man, I wish I'd gone to your school.  Those kids are going to have a
great time.
 
Sarah--congratulations on the reading!  I wish I could have been there.
 
                                               Mary (who just read "The
Alienist" & loved it)
 
 
  

    
Neil -  When my mother-in-law passed away in Sicily eight years ago,
they brought the body home for the funeral the next day.  She lay in
her own bed unembalmed for almost half a day with chairs all around the
room for people to sit and pay their respects. The wake for this
particular passing always stuck me as somewhat surreal, with people
sitting around talking, eating, and sipping expresso directly in front
of the body...at ease with death. And you're right, the dead rarely
look like themselves. Whatever it is that leaves the body when people
pass takes with it all recognizable features. 

I passed on helping the women of the family to wash the body, but the
funeral procession with the entire town in attendance, was one of the
most amazing experiences of my life. And while I'm not fond of
cemeteries, the one in this little town in Sicily was an incredible
place. 

Re the picture: Ooh..Maddy looks soooooo cute!  And how come you never
show teeth in your pictures? We know they're there! ;)

Michelle - You miss leaf piles?!  The one damn tree that grows in
Brooklyn has been showering us non-stop.  And to think living on a
tree-lined street in NYC is highly desirable! Almost a dozen 30 gal.
Glad bags later, I'm harboring some e-vil thoughts toward that tree!

For those confused about Xmas in America, it's just another component
of the Consumer Price Index (CPI) and the Consumer Confidence Index
(CII). That's right!  The first day of Xmas shopping, which is the day
after Thanksgiving, is when most retailers make 35% of their profit for
the year. They usually call it "Black Friday".. because it gets them
out of the *RED*.  See? Aren't you glad you asked? *grin*
 
  

    
Daniel, my deepest condolences to you and your family on your loss.
Please take comfort where you can.   
  

    
Daniel, you and yours have my deepest sympathies and anything else as
well.

Jen.
  

    <scribbled>
  

    
Daniel, I can only echo previous responses.  I wish you and your
family strength for the difficult times ahead.
  

    
Len - what fun! I remember playing a female Oberon in High School. 
From what I remember I was terrible, but I still had a lot of fun.

Miko-Chan - Personally I think that sounds lovely.  So much nicer to
get out and experience a holiday rather that stay cooped up inside
lamenting about not being able to move because of all the food you ate.

Jenny – lol. 

Mary – Sounds fabulous.  I love dinner parties like that.   Too much
food, too much alcohol and way too much laughter.  I think I would pass
on singing hymns with a hangover though :P
  

    
re: Wakes
I attended the wake of my best friend two years ago and vowed to never
go to another. *That* is not how I want to remember her, all plastic
and inanimate. So afterward, I skipped the funeral, went to our beach
and said good-bye in my own fashion. In response, she stole my shoes.
:-)

re: Pix
The one of you and Maddy is priceless. She has the most mischievious
grin! If you were smiling, I'd say to use this one on the cover of your
next book. Actually, now that I think about it...this could work for
Wolves in the Walls. Mimi Ko's right. The moody photos have been done
to death. Go for something new.

Daniel -- I'm sorry to hear of your loss. No words can ease the
grieving process. Still, I hope you are able to heal in time.
  

    
Mary-- Your holiday festivities sound amazing-I'm envious.  Food,
drink and song-- cool.

Although technically in my house we celebrate Hanukkah, every year my
wife and I host a generic midwinter festival party-- The Interfaith
Winterthing (to which all on this list are invited [you especially
Mimi-- hop on another plane!],) generally featuring plate after plate
of latkes-- I practically never get out of the kitchen. I have a cd of
a klezmer version of the Nutcracker Suite that gets a lot of play at
that party.

Rocky-- when you wrote about the garish Xmas displays in your
neighborhood I knew you lived in Brooklyn-- what part do you live in?

Amanda-- I refuse to believe you were terrible.  Why, if so, would you
have been given such a cool part to begin with?
 
  

    
Amanda - I'll definitely have to see what pictures come out this year
and show you.  The lights are up on the buildings already, I found out
tonight while on my way home. ;)

Rocky - I remember in some Peanuts cartoon, the gang went to the
department store for something right after Christmas (I think. A bit
hazy on that), and there were 'Only 364 days till Christmas! Shop now!
Buy early!' signs up... 
 
Len - Have fun with the kids and Midsummer Night's Dream! And have a
great midwinter party... and I've jetset too much these past months to
make it over anywhere near there again any time soon. :P (I don't think
I've flown so much so often in my life! @_@ )

Daniel - As many have done, I send my sincere condolences and
sympathy. I wish you and your family strength in these times of
sadness.

-- Mimi
  

    
Daniel, I am so sorry to read about your brother.
  

    
Email from Mary Roane:

You know, I try not to overload the wonderful Jon & Linda with with my
silly e-mails, and what happens?  My once weekly post left out one of the
most important things I wanted to say.....Congratulations Mike and Elise!  
The news about the new kidney and Mike's swift recovery is wonderful.  
Two of my cousins are around today because someone took the time to fill
out that donor form.  It's a precious, precious gift.
 
                                   Mary (with one more thing to be
thankful for!)