Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
I suppose that you could say that we had to have a suite of songs on the
election because we have a couple of numbers for each major candidate, so
yes.  The more embarassing thing to have to admit is that we often end up
with two songs on exactly the same subject and end up with a medley or just
picking the best of the two. This happens when we are working on the song
and a second idea pops up. Sometimes two folks have discussed a subject and
are working on the same idea with different vehicles without knowing it.
  

    
plate o' cell phones! I was just thinkin' about the proliferation (and
misuse) of these suckers. To the tune of "Drive My Car":

Looked around and I started to groan
Everybody's got a tiny new phone
Talkin' loud everywhere they go
I need a cell phone to join the show

Won't someone call my phone 
I don't want to be alone
If you'll simply call my phone
I'll answer on first ring

beep beep mm beep beep mm
"Yeah?"

Dropped by the Shack and checked out the scene
Got a deal on a the latest machine
Trouble is, mumble mumble mumble.
But I've got a cell phone
And that's a start!

Won't someone call my phone 
I don't want to be alone
If you'll simply call my phone
I'll answer on first ring

beep beep mm beep beep mm
"Yeah?"
  

    

Yeah!
  

    
I think the "mumble mumble mumble" part needs a little work...
  

    
That mumble line could go something like

I know talking while drivin's not smart

AND

if you used that you  could substitute

I'll pull over and answer you

for I'll answer on first ring

Then you'd have the whole issue of dangerous driving while being distracted
by the phone in there in two simple lines.

just a thought.

Great stuff Cynthia!!

Another note to non-wellians, folks on the well often use the phrase plate-
o-shrimp to indicate a bizarre coincidence, thus, cdb's comment at the top
of 27 is a play on that.
  

    

Good catch, Alan!
  

    
Interesting sidelight, which is probably too much of a tangent to work
into the same song:  British research released this past week links a
significant drop in teen smoking to the huge upswing in teen ownership
of cell phones.  Turns out, cell phones accomplish the same goals of
making you look cool, adult, and sophisticated, so why smoke?

And to make it more humorous, some British physicians immediately
fussed that this may be just exchanging lung cancer for brain cancer.

Hey, Alans, how about a song on how EVERYTHING will kill you,
according to research?
  

    
see Joe Jackson on (was it night and day? think so)
"Everything"
The chorus was:
Everything give you cancer...

I like a similar idea that toward the end of the sexual revolution the only
thing left to feel guilty about was food.
  

    

And what a successful transferrence that was! Food guilt is rampant.
  

    
Something comes to mind on that thread with "Everythings coming up
roses"


I'll be fine
I'll be great
If I don't eat a thing on my plate
No cell phones
No cigars
Damn seatbelts
In my cars

Oh, no-things gon-na save me from my-self
Baby, everything's just gonna kill me!
  

    
Haven't finished it yet.  not sure where to take it...
To the tune of side by side...

Well, I got me a new fangled cell phone
Only crashed once on the way home
but I'm cellular now
I'll show you how
drive on by

I called tripple A on the highway
My call took only a short wait
and I'm cellular now
I'll show you how
drive on by...

I can't decide if I should take this either 1:  to a verse where the tow
truck driver runs over the phone, or 2: yacking as the tow truck driver
pulls up.

either way, I need a hook for the last verseto go with drive on by.
  

    
I'd say the first option.

AND you might want to use a line like in the original song for when the
truck arrives

When I see you driving down the street
I get off the phone and onto my feet...
  

    
anyone want to help get ready for an eventuality?

how about:

The people have spoken, who cares?
  

    
My little bride, terrilee sang the following this morning:

Anything you can win, I can win better...
  

    
He he ... Great!
  

    
As started in the original topic ... feel free to brainstorm about
election-related parody songs here!
  

    

A stab at it for today, after reading the Onion today:



Jumped up out of bed bright early one day, said who's the president anyway?

Just wasn't certain, I couldn't be sure, when I went to bed the night
before.

Turned on the teevee while pouring a cup, what had America's voters cooked up?

The newsdude was smooth and quick to assure, we'd chosen a ticket, we voted
Bush/Gore.


(Chorus:)

VP on each ticket is bit of a bore; so the people decided, we chose
Bush/Gore.

Bush/Gore's the duo, if it causes an itch, call for Gore/Bush and these
guys can switch: Gore/Bush. Bush/Gore. Gore/Bush. Bush/Gore.

(Second Stanza:)

A check and a balance all rolled up in one, this presidential ticket will
be twice the fun.


(yada yada.... anyway, it was a thought.)   
  

    
great stuff gail! did you have a tune in mind?
  

    

It sounds like that Beatles song...um, er.."Woke up!  Grabbed my hat, made
the bus ten seconds flat.  On the way downstairs I drank a cup, somebody
spoke and I went into a dream..."
  

    
Heh... it uses those images.  I didn't really write to a tune of, I just
tried to stay to a meter.  But a little rewrite could fit it in...
anybody want to try a verse, maybe one actually to the Beatles tune?
  

    
Daybreak in the life:

Jumped out of bed
one early day
said, 'whos the pres now, anyway?'

Wasn't certain I could not be sure
when I went to bed the night before
(snore snore snore snore)

Turned on the tube
and poured a cup
Saw Danny Rather was still up

VPs on each ticket
are really a bore
So the US Americans
Chose Bush/Gore
(blaaaah blah bla blaaah, blah bla blaaah, blah,bla blaaaaaaaaaaa)

Bush/Gore is the billing
but don't bitch
after two full years they won't fight they'll switch.....

I got the blues to day O boy
About a southern state that couldn't count

And though their brains were rather small
those votes they'll count them all
theyve used those brains before
although they're not really sure
why pat buchanan's numbers mount

They'd love to steeeeeer usssssss wrooooonnnnnnnngggggggggg............
  

    
LOL! Love the last stanza, Alan!
  

    

Hahaha!!
  

    
thanks, i figured i had to do some original work on it.
btw the second line of the last stanze should be cut.
  

    
Ok.. I got the frist line about Florida

(the Beverly Hillbillies)

Let me tell ya'little story 'bout a Governor name Jed
TV gave the state away and his face turned red
'Bro said wait a minute
Something's wrong right here
I've got the state
The end is near....

Pollsters are wrong
I'm figuring...

The Stations did a turn around, 'too close to call..
Jed was beaming,"I knew it all along"
5 days later, The country's up in arms
Gore has the Cities
Bush has the Farms....

Rural that is,
Past Harvet time


I'd go on, but I think you get the idea  :-)