Plergb Bylaws Summary
SUMMARY of the Constitution and Bylaws of the Plergb Commission
and of the word Plergb as of Feb 21, 1995
The Plergb Language Entropy Regulatory Governing Bureaucratic
Commission Overseeing Multiple Managerial Issues Surrounding Singular
Instances Of Nomenclature ("P. L. E. R. G. B. C. O. M. M. I. S. S. I.
O. N." or "Plergb Commission" for short)
(Hereafter referred to as the
Commission) is the body which oversees and administers the use of the
word Plergb and its authorized variants.
Uses of the word Plergb
The word Plergb may be used in many ways, some of which have not been
- The simplest use of the word Plergb is as a general-purpose noun,
sort of like "doohickey" and "thingamabob".
It may be
dynamically redefined within a sentence if the context makes the
meaning clear, as in the old saying "A rolling Plergb gathers no
Plergb". It can also be used as a euphemism, as in "What the
Plergb is this Plergb?!?!" The use of the word Plergb to
maliciously hinder communication is strongly discouraged.
- Another simple use is to bring good luck by saying
you are plugging something in. The Commission makes no warranty
covering such use.
- Whenever the word Plergb is used in a song, it may be defined as
the entire remainder of the song. For example, singing "Oh, say
can you see by the Plergb?" lets you start the ball game that
much sooner. When used in a song on radio or TV it may be
defined as the rest of the broadcast day, allowing the staff to
shut off the transmitter and go home without further ado or
explanation (CAUTION: Some advertisers consider this to be bad
manners, especially if their commercials are affected).
- The most sophisticated use of the word Plergb, however, is as an
operator. Computer people may think of it as a sort of macro to
be executed by one's audience. For example, if you are composing
something on a manual typewriter but wish to have a professional-
appearing document, you may add at the bottom "Plergb, defined as
justifying margins, correcting typos, and general cleanup". It
can also be defined as minus something you wish to cancel. For
example, if you are running for office you might end all your
speeches with "Plergb, defined as minus anything you didn't want
to hear". The word Plergb can also be used to correct
hyphenation at ends of lines, clean up politically incorrect
language, cleanse erotica of anything the authorities might
consider obscene, conditionally insert or delete paragraphs
depending on the state of other variables, insert illustrations
or other special effects the your Web software cannot handle, and
Users of the word Plergb
The word Plergb may be used by any English-speaking person (rules for
other languages may be forthcoming) regardless of race, color,
religion (unless said religion forbids use of the word Plergb),
national origin, sex, sexual preferences, age, economic status, etc.,
etc., etc. Plergb is an Equal Opportunity Word.
Users of the word Plergb fall into three general classes:
Authorized users, Renegades, and Yak Fat.
The Commission issues certificates for all three of the status
categories described above.
- Authorized users are those who have been authorized by the
Commission to use the word Plergb and who agree to be bound by
the rules thereof.
- Renegades are those who have been granted Renegade Status by the
Commission. They may break the rules and otherwise misuse the
word Plergb with impunity, but their actions do not set
precedent. People who have heard of the word Plergb and wish to
use it, but who are unsure of the rules and find it inconvenient
to contact the Commission, may grant themselves provisional
- The standard penalty for misuse of the word Plergb (by those not
on Renegade Status) is dunking in rancid yak fat. Since the
budget of the Commission does not allow for real yak fat or a yak
fat vat to dunk people in they have been doing virtual dunkings
instead. This consists of a certificate attesting to such
dunking and advising all to stay at least ten feet (three meters)
away because of the (virtual) smell.
Orthography of the word Plergb
The word Plergb is always capitalized because it is the name of the
word Plergb, which makes it a proper name. This is in contrast to
words like "cat" and "shoehorn"
and "episcotister" which have names
like "Melvin" or "Herman" or "Murgatroyd"
which nobody knows about
because nobody has published a list of names of words. The word
Plergb is named Plergb. The subject of names of names is beyond the
scope of this article.
Authorized variants of the word Plergb include Pglergb, Plergdb,
Pglorgdb, and Skeegl. There also exists the Medieval Spelling of
Plyrrhghb for use by time travelers, people doing parodies of medieval
writing, etc. All variants are pronounced exactly as they are spelled
(no silent letters) except for the Medieval Spelling, which is
pronounced "Pl" as in "platypus", "yrrh"
as in "myrrh", "gh" as in
"ghost", and "b" as in "Bob".
Plergb Commission Anthem
The Commission has an Official Anthem. The words of the latest
We are the stalwart people of the Plergb Commission:
We uphold the honor of the word Plergb all day long.
And when we're not busy on our glorious mission
We just sit around and sing this stupid song.
The Official Question of the Plergb Commission and of the word Plergb
is "Glorb g'dorpt-borpt?" The answer is "Plergb".
Alcohol and other Drugs
Documented use of the word Plergb goes back to 1973, which makes it
old enough to be used in places where alcohol is served, at least in
California. Since laws vary from place to place and may change from
time to time, check with local authorities before using the word
Plergb in any potentially questionable situation.
Diminished capacity due to drunkenness or other forms of intoxication
is generally not a defense in cases of misuse of the word Plergb. If
you plan to use the word Plergb while under the influence, the safest
course is to have Renegade Status.
Plergb, defined as whatever legal disclaimers about advice,
warranties, etc., are needed to keep the Commission off the hook
regardless of how local laws vary.
Plergb, defined as correcting any typos and misspellings in this
Plergb, defined as minus any line noise or other technical problems
with this document.
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