On Stories and Writing

I enjoy writing/talking about sex and sexual fantasies, and people ask me why, and it is because of "stories". Stories rule my sexual world to a great extent. I don't think I ever have sex without having a story going. For a long time I used to have sex with other people and have a story going through my mind and not say it aloud. I don't do that anymore. It makes me feel too distant from the other person.

Some of my favorite lovers have been ones that could tell me stories-the kind of stories I like. I think one of my ex-lovers somehow felt that my stories took me away, and she wanted me to be more present, though I never think of my stories as removing myself.

I tried to get other people to tell me their stories and I've found many people have sex without stories. When I ask about their fantasies they'll describe a certain type of body.

It makes me happy when I can tell someone a story that turns them on, especially if it isn't my particular fantasy. Sometimes in telling these 'other' stories they get caught up inside of me and integrated into my fantasies. I've been amazed at the power of my fantasies to integrate. I never once had a piercing fantasy until I started working around piercers. Sometimes stuff gets integrated that I don't even want integrated. It can be anything-a sentence whispered in my ear, or an overheard conversation between a parent and a misbehaving kid.

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