Racket Attack

Ah, the glories of Saturday morning.

To awaken to the serene sounds of a relaxing weekend, the twittering of little birds heralding a well-deserved day of peace.

NO WAY !

4:30 a.m.

Early Morning. KRAAAWWWWWWW, KRAAAAAAWWWWW those giant black dragon crows, the skyward blight of Tokyo, feeding frenzy in starts before dawn on the unprotected trash yummies in easily broken open plastic bags sitting outside waiting for trash pickup. Better than any alarm. Just as undeniable.

All night. RUMBLE-RUMBLE-RUMBLE every truck making a "shortcut" on it's way from the harbor to the Kachidoki bridge to as Tsukiji fish market across the river is coming right by apartment.

6:30 a.m.

Make coffee. Time to get milk. Let's take a short walk to the 24-hour Lawson's conveni (convenience store) check out the neighborhood's potted chrysanthemum collection.BANG BANG-BANG-BRRRRRRPA-PA-PAPA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA wow, NTT (National Telephone & Telephone) is laying in a new line on the street. Could my service get any better? Nice of them to tear up the street. WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM the never ending building of the new trainline they have just started building the new station which will make my life so much better (later) but first let's tear up the street, the sidewalk, and work all night everynight everyweekend. Duck into the "conveni" YAMMER-YAMMER-YAMMER decible level UP for the ad pitches. At least there is singing and carryon mixed in. Back across the street WHAM-WHAM-WHAM and BRAPA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA. Whew, what next?

8 a.m.

CHUNGA-CHUNGA-CHUNGA The new building next to my humble 7 story apt building is nearing completion---6 days a week and every Saturday they have been at this nonstop. It was 3 stories when I moved in last February. Now it has topped off at 23 and looms over. 8am marks the morning warm up exercises for the crew..tinkly music broooooaaaaaddcast for all to join in ICHI NI, ICHI NI, swinig those arms up! Now get those drills and saws going BUDA-D-ADAA, BAP-BAP-BAP-BAP...

8:30 a.m.

RUMBLE-SQEEEEEL-KU-RASH-WHOMPUS the destruction crew has arrived for the sad duty of tearing down three dilapidated yet picturesque wooden homes withtile roofs. Another piece of history is cutout of the old life style with the precison of surgery. A tiny yet implacable jaws-of-death machine takes it out in record time. Ancient neighbors come out of their similarily built homes to talk morosely and look at the newly opening sky where before someone they knew lived. Oh, I am getting morose myself.

10:00 a.m.

Morning. "KONNICHIWA-MINNA-SAN...BIDEO-TEREBI WARUI DENKI KOTO O..." hark, the first of the tiny vans with the giant megephone atop hath arrivethed, to cruise the streets in case there are any more videos, televisions, broken electrical appliances that they can haul away (for a fee) from last weekend, when they also came by joined now by another one selling laundry poles, in case yours was stolen since last weekend by those crows ZANGYAO O URIMASU CHATTERCHATTERCHATTER This all bounces off the 10 story walls of the giant frozen fish refrigerated building across the canal. I quote: "ZAN/SAN GYAO/AOAOAOA/URIM/URIM/URI/ASSU/S/S/S/" and repeat till driven bats.

10:30 a.m.

I gotta escape and go across town to buy feather boas and red felt for the Santa hat (more on this, another time) Shinjuku station, the usual uproar of a million people making their way in and then out of 60 exits. I inch up the stairs, to BOOM-BOOM-BOOM HABBA-DABHA-ABBA-DAA-HABBA-DADA-BBADA!!!!! BOOM-BOOM-BOOM yes, it appears to be the school team guy and drum band cheerleading demo! Guys wearing their black German-1930's style school uniforms, waving their arms around in energetic group display, with FULL accompanyment. Older guys wearing striped hakama stand around looking vaguely paternal. Let's all applaud and yell CLAPPITY-CLAPPITY-CLAP & BANZAI!!!BOOM-BOOM. "ringy-ringy ringy-ringy" hey, is that my tiny cell phone trying to make itself heard in this uproar???? I punch in but too late! They hung up! Rats!

2 p.m.

Afternoon. OK, across the street, trying to find this place according to the sketchymap given by very well meaning clerks earlier this morning, the usual whoopla signaling it's time for traffic to move over, red flashing lights for medial trucks accompanied with a forceful "WHOOEEEE-WHOOOEEEE-WHOOOEEEE". I walk around ten blocks past innumerable Pachinko Parlors featuring--millions of steel balls racing for the cups RAP-PA-DA-PA-DRA-PA-DA-PA-PA before finding HMV with the latest teen idoru screeching "AHHYEEEEOOOSSAAABISSSHIIIII" blasts from the store right outside the exit I came out of. In I go to the delight of a battalion of sales youngsters who leap upon me with the traditional delightful calls of "IRRASHAIMASE" (hi ya, come on in!) "IKKAI WA URADASHI" (sale on the first floor!) etc etc. I buy and flee, BOOM-BOOM-YELL-YELL-YELL (the school fight songs continue) into the train station HUBUBB-HUBBUB-HUBBUB.

3 p.m.

On the train CLACKITY-CLACK, CLACKITY-CLACK, CLACKITY-CLACK -a sound familiar and the transportaiton lullaby to millions, including myself, as I'm lulled into a false sense of tranquility and mass self-hypnosis.

4 p.m.

Onto the bike to ride up the main street of Ginza full of trucks ROAR-ROAR and un-mufflers proclaim BLATT-BLATT-BLATT & HONK -ONK (very few honking horns, actually) and holiday JINGLES the local St. Luke's hospital bells peal out a nostalgical good one with ON-U-ARD-KU-RI-SHI-TA-N-SO-O-O-RU-DU-AAAAAA----(*Onward Christian Soldiers)

5 p.m.

Late Afternoon. Cruise by the Tsukiji fish market. It's quiet as the Sunday day off approaches. Approaching the fish market's jinja (Shinto shrine building), I hear band practice of another sort the guys are practicing the ancient traditional music bagpipe harmony and this must have the same roots hand drums PITTY-PAT PITTY-PAT short wooden flutes SCCREEE-WHEE-WHOOO as I pass, the sounds all combine to create a sound EXACTLY like the metal doorway being rolled down on another store entrance. A remarkable concurrance of wonderfulness and weirdness.

5:15 p.m.

Down my street past the 2-story golfing range POIK-POI-POIK, POPPITY-POPPITY-POP (popcorn makes the same sound as all those gold balls being twocked). Home at last. Am I safe at last?

6 p.m.

Early Evening.Darkness has decended time for the plantive and lovely call of the hand-drawn yaki-imo (sweet potatoes) seller in his cart with the wood burning campire (hey, look behind you! You're on fire!!!), roasting those potatoes first with the horn BLAAAAAAATTTTT then the song YAKIMOOOOO, YAKIIIIIIIIMO, MINNA-SAMA OOOOOO, KURIURI YAKIIIIIIIMMMOOOOOO. I nod off.

Sunday 5 a.m.

Early Morning. The local Buddhist building sends it's large booming gong out over the daybreaking Kachidoki residents deeply calm, deeply meditative BOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNN, BOOOOWWWWNNNNN. Thank god for the buddhists.

This has been your aurally challenged reporter, now wearing large Miffy earmuffs.

Japlish Corner

Window Sign--about 3 meters tall

Love Boat Sexy Girls Power Casual

© 2007. Comments to Patricia Yarrow
Top of page