Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
>When the air is all chartreuse syrup?  

Yep!  That's the one!

>It's some kind of fetish, no doubt.  Or a genetic defect, maybe, I
don't know.

Either way, it's one of life's bonuses.

Mint.  Yummy.  Juleps.  Right up there with bad mead.  'Course I'm not
a big bourbon fan, but don't mention that in Kentucky.  Unless, of
course, you're in a dry county.  In which case you can preach it from
the pulpit.

Are you job-hopping to D.C.?  Northern Virginia is lovely, too.
  

    
...aaarRGH!

Martha, I do believe that the whole question thing on 116 is Neil's
payback for me teasing him so much. I'm gonna find every copy of that
Duran Duran thing and have him sign each and every one. And stop
teasing him. And, and, go away and SULK. 
  

    
Pamela... I gave up on meditating on goldfish or anything zen with
them. In fact, I'm having a really hard time staying in a peaceful
place today... the boss wrote me up today on performance review for, I
kid you not, not going out to lunch with them or out to their smoke
breaks. (I'm asthmatic! christ...) Also for not being here during core
hours, even tho I'm never the last person in to work... and for not
completing projects on time, tho I've not had any projects assigned to
me for 6 weeks. The ones she cited on the paper she just assigned me
this morning.

Oh, and apparently I'm not outgoing enough, and don't talk enough...

Grrrr. Going to rip her head off and force feed it to her...

Then again, it's always fun and calming to come on here and see that I
actually sounded somewhat intelligent and got a response (and answer)
from Neil, and then there are people over here with kind thoughts...

And then I hear my bosses voice and I just want to grab the nearest
string of cat 5 cable and use it to strangle her....


Grrrr.
-Kelly
  

    
WARNING! DO NOT BUY THAT DURAN DURAN BOOK!

Apart from Neil having conniptions at the idea of a fan paying that
sort of money for the book, the man himself has tips for searching for
cheap copies on Evil-bay. Just search for the book without including
his name as part of the search. Most Durannies have no idea (and don't
care) who the author is, so you can pick up copies cheap.

And check your second-hand book stores.

Dan--I won't be drawn on the topic of bondage marsupials, not yet
anyway... ;>

Are you anywhere near New York/Connecticut/LA? I'll be in those places
in the next week or so and I'll be happy to meet for a cold, frosty
one and explain the concept of bondage marsupial. It would be better
with visuals, especially the look on the recipient's face...

Michelle--[waves] Hey you! How's the de-infesting going?

Pam--A Tree by any other name would still make a hell of a ruckus if
she fell over in the forest and there was no one there to hear her.

Tree
Who thinks it is quite apropos that she is trekking across the US
while reading American Gods.
  

    
Kelly--Aaiii, aaiii, it's the Balrog!  Run for your lives!  Get out of
that office!

Your boss sounds like a complete idiot.  Do not attempt to capture her
yourself.  Complete idiots are rare.  Call a professional to come and
*take her away*!  ;-)

I'm so sorry that you're stuck in work hell.  May you find a better
place soon (or win the Lotto, my preferred option).

Mary (who just read 253 by Geoff Ryman and The Wooden Sea by Jonathan
Carroll-my first of his, and is now back to AG)
  

    
Martha - At least when Walker bought his over-priced copy it was in
decent shape! eep! As for *your* copy, is it signed? Ooh! You missed
Tree's signature... maybe I should email the photo to you... :P

Pam - If you want, you can call me Igor and I'd probably respond
(eventually). :) As for the contents of the mouse cage, at the time of
the signing - the mousey representations of the embodiment of desire
and that of despair, and yes, they are twins. On the subject of not
liking bourbon in Kentucky... try living in New Orleans and telling
people that you don't drink ("no, not even beer... or wine... ew! NOT
bourbon... and DEFinitely not that vile hand grenade swill..." usually
followed by remarks of the "How can you survive?" variety).

Tree - <waves right back atcha> um, it's going annoyingly. All the
boxes in the hall are emptied, so naturally all those UPS packages I've
been waiting on showed up to replace them. Not that I'm surprised, the
futon was due to arrive the day after you left, not THREE days. ;P

Kelly - Write her up to the Better Business Bureau? If it makes you
feel better, I read your 'cat 5 cable' as something about 5 cats, and I
wondered how you would string them together to strangle someone.
Really, it's an altogether very silly visual, if a bit cruel.

squeaks, who is still picturing very confused and contorted kitties
wondering 'how on earth?...'
  

    
I once had a job in Chattanooga where my department, all two of us,
had to take our breaks not only on a schedule, but outside with the
smokers so that they could be sure we weren't reading or playing
computer games on our break. We weren't allowed to socialize with all
these other people during work, though.

One insurance company I temped for actually had a bell that rang when
work ended, and no one was allowed to even go to the bathroom for
thirty minutes before lest we slip out before the bell. Everyone worked
7 hours and 45 minutes a day so that no one got 40 hours and qualified
for benefits like, insurance. At 4:40 each day, everyone would be
standing at their desks waiting...

Remind me to tell y'all about the boss who accused me of putting Satan
into her body...
  

    
        On the cat 5 cable... I am vaguely acquainted with a gent in the
local fetish scene who has, in his toybag, a singletail bullwhip, along
the length of which he has affixed nine Beanie Baby kittens.  It's a
tail o' nine cats, you see.
  

    
-N. 
Boo-ooo! Although I'm thinking we could adapt the method of stringing
geese to use to string kittens...
  

    
inkwell.vue 116: 
#105 of 105: Dan Wilson (stagewalker) Tue 10 Jul '01 (09:26 AM)

"...Neil - *grinning* I rather feel like a mouse being bapped about by
a cat that isn't really hungry but likes to see small furry things
dance about..." 

Me, too. And I am NOT a small furry creature, dammit, except maybe
sometimes in private... ;)

So I gave up on the questions; too dizzy, my head was beginning to
hurt, and my dryer lint collection needed tending... 
  

    
Tree - San Francisco, actually... but I'm sure we can grab a cold
frosty one some day.

Speaking of San Fran peeples... 
Ok, my show opens this Friday and runs for four weeks. (through August
11). Information on directions, tickets, etc. can be found at
http://www.actorsensembleofberkeley.com/
(for Murphy's sake, don't read the story of the show on the site as
they managed to both reveal EVERYTHING about the show as well as get it
all screwed up.)
  

    
Kay, guys, not much new to say, because I've been writing so much, but
this interested me, and so I figured it might interest you...

www.msnbc.com/news/598459.asp

Yes, everyone, the old joke is now true; we actually, officially live
in a society in which women don't need men for the furtherment of the
species.
  

    
Got the new WiReD last night, and there's a small pic of Neil in the
What Are You Reading box; wild.
  

    
You know, I just found out that I missed a Terry Pratchet signing
here, a few months ago. Would have loved to have him sign my copy
(okay, copies) of Good Omens... would have been very interested to see
his response to "Burn this book". ;-)

Mary - I'm trying to get out as fast as possible... alas, the job I
interviewed for last week went to someone else. They've sent my resume
around to a few more things, tho, so fingers crossed...

N - I have a friend who's having a custom cat o'nine tails made...
she's having it made from cat5 cables,... it'll be a cat5 o'nine
tails...  (I figure I'll borrow it once my circuitboard corset is
done... hehe)

Michelle ... oooh, hehehe ... I'm going to have a visual of cats,
strung together by their tails, for the rest of the day... altho, can
you imagine the claw damage they could do like that? *winces and
laughs*

-Kelly
  

    
Kelly and JaNell- I have had these same experiences in the workplace
in the past.  It is hell.  It is also bizarre.  I DO NOT understand how
that kind of control could make a human be more productive.  At least,
my type of human.  My type of human just shuts down completely. 
Kelly, I really hope you escape soon.  

Pam--I now understand why you left television.  You are too brilliant.
 

i have been slacking majorly on my Well duties, but i just wanted to
say that i was so very glad to meet Michelle and Tree (and Pam) at the
LA reading a few weeks back.  such lovely and kind folks, and that was
with me in total befuddlement over my lost husband (whom i thankfully
found eventually, wandering around).  how was the Magic Mansion?  i'm
dying to know...
  

    
I'm not more productive that way. It's best to just leave me the work,
and leave me alone. You know, don't hire me if you feel I need to be
micromanaged. I'll finish everything in the In box, and take a break
then. Not very good at office politics, and I can't lie, even with my
face, so if I think you're stupid, it'll show no matter how hard I try.
So I mostly work for myself now, which this year means being the
general contractor on our house, and tiling, and scraping 100 years of
wall paper and paint off. It's a good way to burn off frustration,
though, so I'm on a roll this week!
  

    
Kelly/JaNell:  Your work stories left me completely speechless.  Which
is not that easy to do, actually.  I have absolutely nothing clever to
say in response to that kind of complete insanity.  Except, my husband
has this theory that the worst employees keep getting promoted up and
into new positions, in some desperate "pass-the-buck" management
scenario.

Tree:  Now I see where you were hiding!

Mary: How did you fare from reading _The Wooden Sea_?  I've been
trying to work up courage to venture into the Carroll mindscape.  _TWS_
seemed like a good pick to try first.  (Feeling still vulnerable from
the _AG_ hangover I've got.)

Mouse:  "It's prounounced EYE-gor." "They told me it was EE-gor." 
"Well, they were wrong then, weren't they."  There's something that
seems eminently suitable about desire and despair running around with
soft, pink twitchies.  My husband doesn't drink, either, and he gets
exactly the same shtick everywhere new... same 'ol, same 'ol.  Gives ya
huge sympathy for Neil and the FAQ's.

Dan Wilson:  Break something big!

Rebecca: I forgot to mention that I did read Ellen Kushner's
_Swordspoint_, and liked it quite a bit.  What's odd is that one of the
things that sticks with me the most is the really twisted thing she
did, having all those spider-souled people sitting around drinking _hot
cocoa_.  She must have done that mind-warp deliberately, don't you
think?  

-Pam
Who really should try, but can't resist a _Young Frankenstein_ set-up.
  

    
Adriana: <blush> I, umm... well... Actually, the truth is that broad
comedy is not really my creative gift.

And because I woke up one morning and my first coherent thought of the
day was when I saw _The Hollywood Reporter_ and thought: "Oh my god,
_Mrs Doubtfire_ did 17 million over the weekend?"

It became glaringly clear that I was standing at a spiritual
crossroads.

I ran.

Glad to have you back!
  

    
Dan--Merde.  In bocca al lupo.  Break one.  I wish I didn't have to
read garbled accounts on the webpage, but it's a bit far  ;-) Maybe
next time!

Saw "Blue Surge" last night at the Goodman.  Save your money. 
Gorgeous sets, good acting, nice lights & costumes, but the script
wandered like Moses in the desert.  Only no manna & no promised land.
Tomorrow night--Cowboy Junkies!

*Loved* The Wooden Sea.  Can't wait to read more.......
  

    

Kelly -  Terry Pratchett is coming up in the inkwell on Friday, just after
Neil and American Gods is winding down.  Maybe you get still get it
signed...

JaNell - about giving up on asking questions.  I'm still listening to AG
on tape and there was just this exchange between Wednesday and Shadow in
which Shadow asks why Wednesday has him in Lakeside, and Wednesday says
that it's because he's under the radar there, and Shadow says, "But,
WHY?"  and Wednesday says maddeningly, "That's just the way it is" and it
suddenly occurred to me that your asking Neil questions and not getting
the answers you want is exactly like Shadow's relationship with Wednesday,
only in real life!  

Stagewalker - we have got to get a group of folks from The Mob together to
go to your show.  How shall we plan this?  

Streak - tell your friend with the Beanie Babies I love it!

Wait!  Who got to go to the Magic Castle??  One of my absolutely favorite
places on the planet!!
  

    
Linda- NOOOOOO! Oh, nooo! I'm Neil's son! But I'm a woman! And only
four years younger! And I ain't hangin' off any tree for *him*, or
anybody else! (Runs off further into insanity, screaming...)

But do tell that to Neil, 'cause he started it. 
  

    
There's a webring out there for people who claim to be lovechildren of
David Bowie -- very amusing buttons and banners that begin with things
like "Mom won't admit it, but..." -- but the idea of having one for
secret children of Neil feels vaguely unsavoury. ^^

I have always lead a charmed existence, and have yet to find myself in
an unsatisfactory employment situation.  I've never quit a job yet,
even, only ever moved away (or, once, been laid off when the @#$%
start-up lost all its money).  I empathize though, Kelly et JaNell.


Dan Guy wants to live in magic America with all the magic people.
  

    
Dan- YOU feel unsavory? I mean, the man would only have been four -
and it feels vaguely incestuous - and the thought of being half
British, instead of the nice mostly Cherokee-Irish mix I've always
*thought* I was, is deeply disappointing... no offense, Neil, you look
to be a great dad..

On the other hand, how cool! Hey, Neil, um, my father's been dead a
very long time... 
(charmingest little girl voice) 
Would you be my *daddy*? (*very* wicked grin)


And I *swore* I wasn't going to tease him anymore. Sigh.
  

    
Email from Jouni Koponen:

It has been very hot for almost three weeks. Not a drop of rain. Yesterday
the dark clouds started gathering to the skies. 'The storm is coming', I
thought. Today I got my copy of American Gods and I'm waiting for the
storm to begin.

God(s) seems to have a really weird sense of humor/drama. ;-)

Jouni

PS. Also got The little Endless storybook, and it looks lovely...
  

    
JaNell, Dan -- Imagine being the love child of both Neil and David
Bowie!!! 

*giggle* sorry, it's been a weird day and that's the first thing that
popped into my head when I saw your posts.