Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
Terri- Wow thank you. I'm not published anywhere yet though. Yesterday
I mailed a story to The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, and
over two months ago I mailed a different one to Cemetery Dance. If I
hear anything good from them, I'll be sure to post it here.

At this point, I'm just trying to market my short stories to
magazines. The story itself is more important than the grammar, of
course. But when they're going through hundreds of manuscripts, they
probably take the grammatically-correct ones more seriously. That's my
guess anyway. I can't wait until I'm successful enough to have my very
own editor. Danw was kind of one for a while, and was very helpful. (Oh
Dan! That reminds me. If you still, for whatever reason, have those
stories on your hard drive, delete them. They're just plain silly to me
now.)

BillBill- That's creepy. I'd love to see pictures of that. 

Mary- I'd like to be hypnotized. But definitely not in front of a
crowd. I would have to trust the person as well. I just can't see it
happening. I can't imagine not having control over my brain(without
drugs anyway). At the show, he made the the guys do some erotic dancing
in front of the male "judges" in the audience. Toward the end of the
show, one of them admitted he was gay. Though, his friends didn't seem
to know anything about that. I don't think the volunteers knew that J
would take everything that far. I certainly didn't. And to think....I
almost volunteered.  

This week I'm allowing myself to order two books: Adventures in the
Dream Trade and a John-Mike book(Yes, I know. I'm waaayy behind).

John-Mike- I know this has been asked before, but I can't remember
when, so I can't find it...Which book of yours should I read first?
Does it matter?
  

    

<licking the hamachi roll off my fingers>

Well, folks, you've done it again.  We are about 107 posts - barring slips 
- away from reaching the end of this topic.

So, shall we continue?  And if so, what shall we call this new 
incarnation?
  

    
Terri--Hi!  Welcome!  You live in the prettiest place I've ever been  
:-)

Elise--happy beading vibes!

Linda--yes!  Please?

Mary (who has just been reminded how long it's been since she did
algebra.  Or geometry.  Or any math, really.)
  

    
Linda - I'll cast a vote for "You're all silly buggers: CARRY ON Neil
Gaiman" 

Neil - Now you've done it!  Blue Ribbon wasn't one of the better kept
secrets in sushidom, but now we'll have to endure much longer lines. 
So much for continuing to deny any knowledge of its existence. 

Bugger! 

Tree - Thanks babe, I plan to replace all the other expletive deleteds
with this one.

Just got my copy of AitDT. Must.. not..begin..reading..
until..weekend.  

BUGGER!  ;)
  

    
Heartily agreed to continue. I need my barking mad fix.

As requested, pictures:
Not exactly light as a feather...
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/w.j.williams/hypnotist1.jpg
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/w.j.williams/hypnotist2.jpg
...but definitely stiff as a board.
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/w.j.williams/hypnotist3.jpg
Our class president getting his "marching orders"
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/w.j.williams/hypnotist4.jpg
...and dashing off to relieve himself.
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/w.j.williams/hypnotist5.jpg
A very worried prez returning to discuss his dilemma
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/w.j.williams/hypnotist6.jpg
  

    
Oops, forgot to mention, I'm the tall blond fella with his back to the
camera onstage. The pictures were taken on my 110 camera, which
accounts for the terrible image quality, by my mom.
  

    
Linda, yes, pray let us continue.

Silly Buggers sounds like a fine sort of name. How about

The Absolutely Barking Mad Gaiman Mob: Carry On, You Silly Buggers!

Actually, I think Silly Buggers is a quintessential band name.
  

    
billbill- That's *so* weird. Thanks for posting those. And my, you are
tall!

lioness/Linda- or it could be: Buggers of Neil Gaiman. It has sort of
a double meaning. Hehe. Yeah, I'm tired. 
  

    
Erynn... ok. I promise to delete them and not use them as blackmail
material somewhere down the line.

As for a name issue:
I think that Neil's comments that he's just one of the mob now should
be considered... and that we don't necessarily need his name in the
title.
With that in mind, I'd like to suggest the following:
Still Barking Mad After All These Years
The Barking Mad Mob: A Well Institution
The Barking Mad Mob: Endless Nattering

I feel some need to add something meaningful to the conversation, but
my absence of fish stories and the lack of any active Neil or Martha
related projects keeps me fairly mum.

However, I am enjoying turning myself into Albert Einstein for a show
in April.
  

    
Erynn - publish on the web darlink.  Create a demand and then they'll
be BEGGING to print you! :)

lioness - We only ever have 2 phish at a time - and our phish are
phish with a ph - nothing to do with the group - we just like to
irritate people ;)  So Borgle I was succeeded by Borgle II and so on. 
Borgle II definitely thought his name was "Bad Phish" though...which is
kind of strange as we now have a cat called "Badly" ;)

mary - you've been to Blanchardstown? ;)
  

    
E-mail from Dax Pagan:

Jenifer-Paige- Saw a copy of Preludes and Nocturnes with the cd-rom in
back... didn't notice if the price was any higher, but I wouldn't think so
(the label says 'free', at least), but there's an ugly black corner banner
announcing it that pretty much ruins the cover design.

Neil- Haven't said 'hi' since finishing American Gods.  Loved it, great work,
I'll be sure to push the paperback on many 'new' people. I was sad to finish
it, knowing how long it took to write, and how far away it must be that
something as huge and ambitious would come our way again...

Harlequin Valentine was beautiful.

A few Endless Nights questions.  The artist line-up kinda trickles out in
bits and pieces, but I worry I might have missed an announcement somewhere,
somehow: Milo Manara's doing Desire (and you surprisingly and disappointingly
didn't write enough nudity for him), Sienkiewicz, the Delirium (okay, only
two lines, but is she at least 'on-screen' much?), I know Barron Storey's
doing the Despair... Can't recall if I'd read that Moebius were doing Death,
or...?  Prado and Liberatore are on which?  And the seventh artist?  Or maybe
there are eight, with ones for both Morpheus and Daniel?  Is Dave going to be
involved at all?  Hope so, and that he finds time for Wolves In The Walls,
too...

Obviously, very much looking forward to this.  The Marvel project sounds
intriguing, too, but I'm still hungry for a proper Delirium mini-series...
even if FAR off, you do have a story or stories in mind for this, right?

Feeling hopeful about Miracleman these days.  I think the universe is going
to line up just right, and justice will be served.

Any news to report on the animated Goldfish/Me and My Big Ideas?

Happy fan moment to share- After six or seven failed attempts, was fortunate
enough to have Tori sign my Death: High Cost hardcover last fall- looks great
on the cover, though I'd hoped she'd open it up to see the lovely sketches by
Neil, Dave, and Chris Bachalo... she was moving very quickly for a large
crowd of people, but she smiled a great smile of recognition when she saw my
book, as if it had been awhile since somebody had held one in front of her...

Have to order AITDream Trade and McKean's Pictures That Tick yet... oh, and
now this Gene Wolfe chapbook... Coraline can't arrive soon enough (but I
don't think I'll do audio-book first...).  Happily, no shortage of Neil
material to grab hold of, that's good...
  

    
maure -- I'm pleased Rusalka's getting better. We have a 20 gallon
tank in Maddy's room, with several goldfish and a koi in it. I killed
half the goldfish about 3 years ago by topping up their tank using
water that had been through a dehumidifier... (shamefaced shuffle). Now
only one goldfish remains from the original bunch, and the koi, who we
got a year or so after the rest.

The one who died last month had grown from coin-size to hand-sized,
and he'd eat from my fingers.

Tree & all --I'd  spoilsportingly cast a vote *against* putting bugger
in the title of the topic, because I sometimes have to log on on other
people's computers -- offices and airports and suchlike -- and it's
not at all uncommon for them to have nanny software to make sure that
the language on a page is clean before they'll open it. And I suspect
enough of them would find bugger on their banned words list to cause
headaches.

I'm a long way from AITDT -- would you by any chance be on page 231?

Hi terri... welcome to the madhouse.

Dax -- A Death story was written for Moebius, but he has some health
issues right now and it's a bit up in the air. It may become a separate
graphic novel in its own right. Or I may rewrite it for someone else
(although there aren't many out there up with Moebius). Liberatore is
Destruction. Prado's Morpheus. Destiny may well be P. Craig Russell
(whose adaptation of MURDER MYSTERIES will probably win him awards.
It's astonishing, and I say that as a disinterested observer).

Dave will do the book design and cover, I hope.
  

    
*GASP*  I'm coming up for air after weeks of hiding in my mind's cave
and am once again hopelessly lost here.  I'll just sit here in the
corner looking inconspicuous.  

*shuffle*

BTW-Neil, many thanks for the throat remedy, which I am using right
now to ease my poor sad throatiness.  
  

    
Hi Adriana!

I was thinking that "Neil" or Gaiman" should be in the title only
because this is a Vue conference and people who aren't regulars might
have a harder time finding him if they want to pop in and ask a
question, or see what he's plugging. 

I like "Neil Gaiman's Madhouse". But then, I doubt he *really* wants
to take responsibility for all of this. 
  

    
For what they're worth:

Neil Gaiman: The Dreaming Annex

The Endless Gaiman Topic

Neil Gaiman's Goldfish Swapmeet
  

    
"Neil Gaiman's Goldfish Swapmeet"

Does this mean we'd all have to have goldfish to be allowed to post?
I'm really more of a mammal person... maybe if we don't really have
goldfish, but we dream or write about having them?
  

    
<xmorpheus> - My favourite swear is "DARN IT TO HECK!" I picked it off
of Night Court because it had to be one of the funniest lines on the
show. 

And we're DEFinitely in need of a new topic. Need my WELL fix - and
the barking mad fix too (because life in general doesn't get me nearly
mad enough - I want to be Hatter mad!)

annie - How about if we all *like* goldfish of a sort, or have had
them at some point, as I don't think I can go through the trauma of
killing off another 5 at a time on accident.

Okay, work beckons...

Yay Tree!

squeaks, who is following her fishies
  

    
Goldfish Swapmeet cracks me up.

And it also sounds like a band name. *Everything* sounds like a band name at
this hour, though. Recalcitrant Doormat. Pendulous Rivets. Totoro Attitude
Festival. Scareport.  See what I mean?

Elise,
wandering off muttering
  

    
Goldfish Swapmeet is clearly the name.
  

    
Thanks for the info, Dax.  I appreciate the answer. I probably won't
go looking for it right now then, I'm two things behind already, with
more coming.

And for anyone in Atlanta, (or Minnesota, soon) Teavana,
www.teavana.com.    Lovely, helpful people, fine store, amazing tea.
  

    
I think virtual goldfish, imaginary koi, or binary carp ownership
would qualify.

Oh, God, 5 hours of studying geometry on the Web........*help me!*


Terri--don't think so, but I never saw an ugly place on the island. 
So probability would indicate....oh, stop me before I compute again.

Mary (who takes her teacher certification test on Saturday, and who
started Dragon Waiting this morning)
  

    
goldfish swapmeet - works for me - and I'd agree with the Neil Gaiman
somewhere in the name if Neil's no serious objections.  I didn't
realise he was here but I did do a search on various authors to see if
I could find like-minded people - if da name hadn't been there I
wouldn't have come here :)  Came as a surprise to actually find the
author himself participating - a nice suprise though :)

Mary - actually Blanchardstown isn't that bad - but it is on the
northside of Dublin which is considered the Irish equivalent of the
"wrong side of the tracks" (in this case, the tracks are the river
Liffey but I never said it was logical...)  There are the standard
Northsider jokes which I'm sure you've heard in some other incarnation:
Q. What do you call a northsider in a suit
A. The accused

Q. What do you say to a northsider with a job
A. Bigmac meal with coke please

Q. What do northsiders use as protection during sex
A. A bus shelter

And so on..... :)

Good luck with the test - hope all goes well for you

Terri
(who has been phollowing her phishy for some time now!)
  

    
I'm in a rare melancholy mood this evening.

I live in NYC, and each night, my car service picks me up at home and
takes me to work. Originally, our route was through the Battery tunnel,
a right onto Church and a winding ride up 6th Ave. to my building in
Times Square. Of course, like everything else, that changed six months
ago when access to lower Manhattan was rerouted. Since that time, we've
driven over the Brooklyn Bridge -- a solid steel span that offers a
depressingly vacant view of the altered skyline. 

The last time I visited the WTC was in June for the launch of
"American Gods." I remember running into my friend, Voltaire, and
having a lovely chat. I snagged a decent seat on the floor for the
reading and the short Q&A session where I learned of Neil's passion for
foreign pumpking seeds.. And I earned the enmity of the 500 other
readers who were waiting for an autograph when Neil gave me a hug and
said some very kind things about my work. 

Tonight, the tunnel was reopened and so my driver and I opted to take
our original route...which took the car right past the ugly hole
commonly known as "ground zero." As we drove by, I stared at the empty
space where the book store used to be, and wondered if I had dreamed
that enjoyable summer evening less than a year ago. 

Jade Walker
  

    
Annie,  the russian folk tales I hear are the versions from russian
children - choppy, vague, and told in whispers with great round eyes.
When they have a better handle on the language, or when I have a better
handle on theirs, I'll get more complete stories, I'm sure. However, I
have been assured that while the rusalka and the vodyanoi are indeed
fairy stories, the domovoi is real. 

Erynn,  when I was in junior high, I lived near a University. A friend
and I went to a hypnotist's presentation one night. I wanted
desperately to be hypnotised. My friend and I volunteered and were
chosen to be subjects. After he came back to me twice, he finally asked
me to sit down. I never figured out whether or not my friend was
really under hypnosis or just pretending. But the show was very
entertaining to watch, despite my disappointment in not being
hypnotised.

Terri,  I've read Prachett, but obviously not that particular title.
Now I have to find it. Things like that make me laugh in public too -
when I lived in NYC I thought for sure the group of Polish women who
were on the subway every time I was would have me arrested and sent
Away for lunacy. I can't help it - there's humor everywhere.

Tree,  Pfang the Wonder Pfish?! tee hee

Erynn, I'm crossing my fingers for your magazine submissions. I have
to admit that while a good story will suck me in regardless of its
mechanical faults, I love good grammar with a passion that is unholy.
Or at least, unhealthy. 

Linda, yes, please, let us continue!

Neil and everyone,  thank you for being pleased at the prospect of
Rusalka's returning health. Despite my best efforts and all of your
goodwill, she died yesterday. I'm not a very good fish caretaker I
suppose. 
  

    
Maure -- sympathies. Did you ever read Terry Pratchett's poem THE
SECRET BOOK OF THE DEAD... in "GHASTLY BEYOND BELIEF"? It begins (from
memory)

They don't teach you the facts of death
Your mum and dad, they give you pets
We had a dog the other day
got laminated to a motorway. It died. 
We had to post it to the vets.

and contains the line

A goldfish swimming on a stall
two weeks later: cotton wool
and sent to meet its maker down the loo.

Which, whenever I bid farewell to a small fishie corpse I find myself
reciting under my breath. I hope it gives you as much comfort as it
gave me. Er.

Well, it was why I gave Death goldfish, anyway. 
...

Erynn, Point taken on sticking my name in the title of the topic, and
I agree, as long as the world knows I can only swing by as much as time
permits. Sometimes often, sometimes I'll fall off the world for a few
weeks.

...

Jade -- Wasn't that a great evening? Bizarrely, around 1.00 am I was
swept up after the signing by Claudia "Magnetic Fields" Gonson, Andy
"Sci Fi Channel" Heidel and Jennifer "voice and puppeteer of Mama Lion
on PBS's wonderful Between The Lions and posessor of the single
dirtiest laugh in human history" Barnhardt, and dragged off to Soho
where they knew of a Japanese restaurant that would feed a starving and
exhausted author, and sitting at the table next to us was Voltaire,
who had skipped out of the signing (although he'd sent a CD over with a
friend).

Terri -- a bus shelter? (huge grin) Ah, it's been too long since I've
done a signing in Dublin. I wonder if I could get there for Coraline.
...

It's my wedding anniversary. I'd wanted it for the 15th of March, so
I'd never forget it, but for some reason having to do with family
travel it had to be the Day Before The Ides. I've not forgotten it yet.