Inkwell: Authors and Artists

    
ass players, Derek Smalls of Spinal Tap. No one else has the t-
  

    
emerity to suggest that all bass players are rugged individualists
who by d-
  

    
int of their location at the lower end ofthe sonic spectrum are able to d-
  

    
etonate such abdomen rumbling harmonies that music f-
  

    
orgets to be gentle and deliveres the gut-punch you want from a h-
  

    
uge stack of Marshall amps and speaker cabinets that dwarf the h-
  

    
apless human us-
  

    
ed to playing only acoustic gu-
  

    
itar in an all-brass band, wondering if anyone can h-
  

    
ear the acoustic guitar over the cacophony of trombones and h-
  

    
air metal bands in the barroom, all competing with each other as
well as with the cornet and tuba pl-
  

    
ayers who at first glance seem to be making sense with their playing
but upon further review, we find that they do not and will not imp-
  

    
rove the sound of the band by turning up, goddammit, so get your h-
  

    
it of Orange Su-
  

    
ultan, the very latest version which is guaranteed to make you think
of Maria Mul-
  

    
let Stylist To the Stars, now doing business in Burbank as well as
in Beverly H-
  

    
illbillies, permanently on set due to amazing skills when doing
Granny’s hair and ma-
  

    
king sure no one gets hold of her stash while she's in the chair. Mis-
  

    
sing pot stashes on set are taken very seriously and will be dealt
with ha-
  

    
ppily by our security chief, Jeff Torquemada. He learned his job in p-
  

    
rotective care, hidden away after that incident in which he sm-
  

    
elled a rat and blew the whistle, but in this case, a stitch in t-
  

    
he previous administration's policy even stymied his ef-