Smoke Sucking

Smoke Inhalation

When the fire department responds to a fire and they find someone trapped in a burning building who has been inhaling smoke, they rush that person off to the hospital to be treated for "smoke inhalation". Smoke inhalation is a serious injury to the throat, trachea, bronchi, and lungs. It also poisons the blood, and hence the rest of the body as well, with carbon monoxide and other toxins. The super-heated gases in the smoke from a burning object sear the trachea and bronchi, burning off the cilia (tiny hairs) which are the body's defense against incursion of dust and other contaminants into the lungs. These same super-hot gases also scorch the alveoli (the actual mechanism for transferring oxygen into the blood), thereby reducing the person's ability to absorb oxygen. All of this, of course, is very bad for the health of the victim.

So no one in their right mind would actually put a burning object in their mouth and suck the smoke out of it, purposely subjecting themselves to smoke inhalation... would they? WOULD THEY?????

For to do so would be to purposely cause the same damage to one's own body that is considered a medical emergency if it happens accidentally.

And yet, many people do just that! These people I call "smoke suckers". Most people call them "smokers", but that is not appropriate, because a "smoker" is something that is smoking... ie, it is something that is on fire. But a smoke sucker is not on fire. He is simply sucking the smoke out of a burning object... destroying his life and the lives of everyone else around him in the process.

The preferred object to set on fire for the purpose of smoke sucking seems to be the so-called "cigarette", a paper tube filled with gobs of nicotine-spiked glycerin-soaked shreds of fermented tobacco leaves. The name is a misnomer, being French for "little cigar", which it most certainly is not.

Other popular objects and substances for smoke sucking include cigars (a mixture of shredded rotten tobacco leaves and various chemicals, wrapped up in tobacco leaves), shredded tobacco burned in pipes, marijuana, crack cocaine, and other objects and substances.

All these have one thing in common: they all severely damage the health of the smoke sucker (and others around him whom he forces to inhale his smoke). So why do people do it? Because they are addicted to these various substances. Tobacco (the most commonly used substance) contains nicotine, the most addictive drug known to man, by a huge margin. Nothing else even comes close, not even crack. After all, how can you call a substance (such as crack) "addictive" if it kills you in mere weeks? A truly "addictive" substance must force you to die a long slow painful death over many decades. Tobacco, and especially cigarettes, does exactly that.

Death

What are the effects of sucking smoke from burning cigarettes? I've already mentioned the simple short-term effects above: damage to throat, trachea, bronchi, lungs, plus carbon monoxide poisoning. But the long-term effects include congestive heart failure (which killed my smoke-sucking father); emphysema (your lungs melt); lung cancer (your lungs rot); cancer of the bronchi, trachea, throat, mouth, and tongue; constant throat and lung pain (in all cases -- smoke sucking is always painful); constant lung congestion (ever meet a smoke sucker who didn't spend all his time hacking ugly gobs of crap out of his tortured lungs?); masochism (unavoidable -- the constant combination of pain and nicotine-induced pleasure always creates this psychological cross-coupling); and sadism (insensitivity to the rights of others, especially their right to breath clean, smoke-free air, is yet another unavoidable effect).

In other words, smoke sucking causes death. The smoke sucker's average life expectancy is cut short by about 20 years. And any one smoke sucker can die much younger than that if he is unlucky. But much more importantly, smoke sucking destroys the life of the smoke sucker, taking away all his happiness, health, vitality, and reasons for living. The sole reason for survival becomes living long enough to make it to the next cigarette. A tragic and pathetic existence indeed!

Quitting

So why don't smoke suckers just quit? Because nicotine is so addictive that the internal pressure to reach for the next cigarette is much greater than the will power of the average smoke sucker. The recidivism rate (rate of return to the habit after "quitting") is greater for cigarette suckers than for the users of any other drug! No wonder the poor dumb bastards spend their entire, pathetic, miserable lives hacking their lungs out, after repeated failed attempts at quitting.

In other words, it is already too late for most smoke suckers. Nevertheless, my advice to smoke suckers is, keep on trying to quit. One thing is certain, you will never successfully stop sucking smoke if you don't even try. Also, don't suck smoke around other people, whether you are indoors or out doors. Especially don't suck smoke near children! Children's lungs and bodies are especially sensitive to airborne pollution and are easily damaged. And above all, try not to give children the idea that sucking smoke is a good thing to do. Please try to spare the youths around you from being contaminated by your perversion, thereby becoming entrapped in the same hell you are!

And for those of you who do not suck smoke yet, my advice is very simple indeed: don't start!

The Insurance Viewpoint

Just how big a problem is smoke sucking in America today? Life insurance companies compile data on root causes of death. "Root cause" does not mean the cause listed as "cause of death" on a death certificate. No, the root cause of a death is more likely to be listed under "contributing factors". Ie, the things that got the dying process started in the first place. Life insurance companies call these "death risk factors", ie, the things that people do that are likely to kill them. The top three death risk factors in America are:

cigarettes
booze
car crashes

Which is to say, if you suck smoke, you are doing the one thing in the world which is most likely to kill you! So if you haven't started sucking smoke yet... don't!

R.J. Reynolds

Get a load of this news article:

The Orange County Register
Thursday, January 15, 1998
Front Page

RJR memo: Lure teen smokers

HEALTH: Secret memos show the big cigarette maker proposed comics and a new product specifically to target kids as young as 13.

The Associated Press

WASHINGTON -- Secret R.J. Reynolds memos show the No. 2 cigarette maker targeted teenagers as young as 13 in a plan to steal its competitors' youngest smokers -- and even created a special brand aimed at boys.

Code-named Project LF, a 1987 memo stamped "RJR Secret" says the company created a "wider-circumference non-menthol cigarette targeted at young adult male smokers (primarily 13- to 24-year-old male Marlboro smokers)." Camel Wides eventually were sold.

Other RJR papers illustrate that the highly popular Joe Camel campaign targeted teens despite the company's repeated denials....

The article goes on to reveal still other documents which prove that RJR is specifically targeting our children to become tomorrow's smoke suckers!

Somebody please assassinate these assholes!!!

A Plea To All The Teens in the World

My dear teen-age friends, please don't yield to peer pressure to suck smoke! Smoke sucking will destroy your lives! Don't let these big tobacco companies like RJR and Phillip Morris turn you into their slaves, existing only to fill their pockets with your hard-earned cash, while your mind, body, and soul rot away, poisoned by their foul products! You are better than that! You are above that! Join the unhooked generation, and pull your mind up into the 21st century. Please don't try to regress back into the 18th and 19th centuries, when we were all naive enough not to know how destructive tobacco products and smoke sucking really are. We can never be that naive again. It's your life! Please don't ruin it.

Peace, health, and long life to you!
Robbie Hatley.