Latch-key Demigods
The Oprah-Phil person stood before the applauding crowd. Brandishing a very phallic microphone.

"Today our show is on Latch-key Demigods and their parents. One went mad murdering his wife and children. Murder and Rape are common results of their lack of supervision. It is the fault of the demigod or it's parents. Please join us."

The network cuts to a commercial, advertising useless commodities for exorbitant prices.

"We're back. Our first guest are Clymene and Phoebus. Their son Phaeton went hotrodding in the Chariot of Phoebus resulting in his death. Could you tell us what happened Clymene?"

"Well, Phaeton wanted to know about his father. The other boys had been teasing him because he was the only boy on the block whose father wasn't around. Well, naturally I had to tell him. Then he went of and HE let him drive that chariot!"

"That's not fair!" Phoebus retorted.

"Oh, no. If you had been around when he was growing up..." Clymene chokes back a sob.

"Alright Phaeton let's hear from you. What happened when your son came to you."

"I was so pleased to see him that I rashly promised I would grant him any boon he asked. He wanted to ride the Chariot. I pleaded with him to chose something else but he was adamant. I warned him to keep hold of the reigns but the horses were too much for him."

"Wait a second we have a question from the audience."

A woman stands up,"So you mean to say you just let him drive that chariot?"

"Well, I had given him my word."

Another woman stands up. The Oprah-Phil person rushes over there.

"So you're saying your word is more important than the life of your son."

"I didn't have any choice. As a god I am unable to go back on my word. It would have meant my destruction. I begged him not to do it."

"After this commercial we'll talk to Alemna whose son Hercules went mad and slew his wife and children. Stay with us."

The network cuts to a commercial for useless services at exorbitant prices.

The camera focuses back to the stage, behind the Oprah-Phil person are a man and a woman.

"We're back, with me are Alemna and her husband Amphitryon. Now what's the story on Hercules' parentage?"

"He is the son of Alemna and Zeus but I raised him as if he were my own."

"Now you two were married at that time?"

Amphitryon looked at Alemna,"Yes."

"Now, Hercules was a little too hard for you to handle."

"Yes,"Amphitryon said,"He went mad and killed his wife, Megara and their two children."

Alemna spoke up. "He got over it. But I feel it wouldn't have happened if Zeus had helped him deal with his demigodness."

Another woman stood up in the audience,"All this wouldn't have happened if you had remained faithful."

"If Zeus wants you there is no way you would be able to stop him."

"And we'll be right back."

The network cuts to a commercial for mindless television shows with lots more commercials.

"Our next quest is a child of a mixed marriage between and Asgardian and a Giant."

"That is correct, my father is Odin the All-Father."

"Now what sorts of problems has this caused you?"

"I'm really not accepted by anybody. Everyone shuns me."

"Well you've done some bad things, haven't you?"

"I've just been misunderstood."

"Well, what about the incident with Baldar."

"Baldar was getting all the attention and nobody liked me."
A male audience member stands up,"That's really pretty pathetic isn't it. Blaming Baldar for your problems."

"How dare You speak to me that way."

Loki leaps from his chair.

"Now wait a minute..." The Oprah-Phil person flails about with the microphone. The screen goes blank. A commercial goes on:

"Demonic mutant babies and their lovers on the next.... GERALDO."