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I've been partying for 20 years (tex)
T shirt iron-ons make good economical tatoos.
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World's Dullest Man (joe)
A recent comprehensive survey of all 640
members of the Dull Men's Club has concluded
that remaining calm in crisis situations,
being well prepared for forthcoming disasters,
and taking responsibility for the safety of others
during a life-endangering experience, has led
to numerous painful injuries , death and
even broken glasses.
The study further concludes that absolute
and unbridled panic during a dangerous
encounter is, as mother nature taught us,
the best possible reaction in such cases.
Joseph L. Troise
President
The Dull Men's Club
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Judy Malloy (badinfo)
HOROSCOPE
*aries* After you repair your disk drive
with blackstrap molasses, President Reagan
will invite you to be on a National committee.
Dress inappropriately!
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John Coate (tex)
In a pinch while camping you can seal the seams
of your tent with melted Chapstick.
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John Coate (tex)
Watching TV makes you smarter
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Artcom (artcomtv)
TIPS! Sharing your ATT credit card number is
the best way to make lasting relationships.
Works wonders!
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John D. Hoag (loca)
All you need for success in this world
is talent and sincerity.
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Marshall Smith (skidrow)
Itching powder prevents jock rash.
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David Cannon Dashiell (dcd)
If you chant "spam" backwards 10,000 times a
day, you'll become a cartographer.
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Neal Margolis (nim)
LAUNDARY PROCEDURE
1. Load tub.
2. Insert coin.
3. Remove clothing.
4. Add soap.
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Artcom (artcomtv)
MORE TIPS ON THE LOTTERY
Buy at least 10 tickets! Carefully scrape
off that gray stuff. You now should have
several winning tickets. See how easy
it is to win the "good life!"
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Frederick John Truck (fjt)
If you do your work well, your job is secure!
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David Hawkins (dhawk)
Never use condoms. Sexually transmitted diseases
are only a minor annoyance.
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Bag Lady (abbe)
"Just say Maybe."
